


Shaded In

by Secret_Life_of_Writing



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bisexual Disaster Clementine (Walking Dead), F/F, Luke still alive, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Violet and Louis on there own
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2019-08-03 19:40:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 56,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16332206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Secret_Life_of_Writing/pseuds/Secret_Life_of_Writing
Summary: Clementine has been through hell and back. Some nights it feels like she can't continue on. Luke decides that she needs someone her own age around. Who will show up in her time of need?





	1. It's Just Us Now

The sky held a gloomy look past the branches of the tall pine trees, threatening rain, but none had fallen yet. It felt like they hadn't seen the sun in weeks as they continued to trudge through the ongoing forest. Nothing but the sound of the branches swaying in the wind. The clouds overhead shifted from light gray to a darker hue as a few rain droplets found their way to the forest floor. The pine trees not being the best of cover, let oncoming droplets land on the girl's clothes. The fabric greeted the rain drops as they easily soaked into it's surface.

A rush of wind caused Clementine to shiver slightly. It wasn't to bad, she had dealt with way worse conditions, but damn it was sure getting cold fast.

"Told ya, you should of brought your jacket." Came a mans voice. Luke turned around to give her a knowing smile. It was late October, almost November and the weather decided to play it's crappy cards.

Clementine sighed and rolled her eyes at Luke. Yeah, he may have been right, but she wasn't about to give him that satisfaction. "I'll be fine." she said as another gust of wind blew by and caused her to wrap her arms around herself disproving her point.

Luke chuckled at her failed attempt to prove him wrong. "Don't worry. Were almost back to the house." he said.

Clementine and Luke had been together for five years now, ever since Luke had met her back at the cabin after her and Pete had saved her from a group of walkers. And yeah they may have thrown her in a shed to let her fend for herself, but Luke had been the one who had stood up for her when everyone else wanted to throw her out. That must of been why she seemed to connect with him so much and had always stood by his side.

It had been a rough five years, especially towards the beginning when she was eleven. They had lost so many people. Pete, Alvin, Carlos, Nick, Sarah, Sarita, Rebecca, and even Kenny. He had been with them for a while after everything had went down, helping them with taking care of AJ. But eventually...he died protecting Clem and AJ from a herd of walkers. Clem had blamed herself for Kenny's death for so long just like Lee, but Luke had managed to pull her out of those negative thoughts. Now it was just the three of them. Clementine, Luke, and AJ.

A few minutes passed before Clem and Luke came to a small clearing. A house stood alone, surrounded by the presence of the forest. They had stumbled upon it a few months back while looking for supplies and had decided it would be a nice place to stay. It was well hidden like the cabin had been, far enough from civilization that walkers weren't a huge problem. There were times when small groups or herds roamed past, but nothing they couldn't handle. It was actually quite big for just the three of them.

As they came out from the edge of the forest the rain started to pick up. Turning form a few stray droplets, to a storm of clear bullets that pierced their clothing. "Run for it!" Luke spoke up. Not wanting to be completely drenched, the two survivors sprinted to the wooden porch that covered the front door. Taking a moment to catch their breath before Clem opened the front door and the two of them stepped into the living room.

"AJ were home!" Clem called out to the little boy that she loved more than anything in the world. There were nights that Clem found it hard to continue moving on in this world. The nightmares that continually haunted her most nights, the thought of losing more people, and just trying to survive in this fucked up world in general. But being with Luke and protecting AJ gave it a silver lining. Luke was always there to comfort her when she needed it and AJ always made her smile, no matter how down she was feeling.

"Clem!." Her eyes landed on the little boy in a green sweatshirt coming down from the stairs. She ran up and hugged him before he could get another word out.

"Are you alright? Nothing got in?" She knelled down to his level and checked him over for any bites or scrapes that he could of possibly gotten if he was hurt.

The younger of them chuckled at his supposedly older 'sister' and her overprotective side. The older of the two not finding it funny. AJ pushed her hand away, "Clem I'm fine! I protected the house, just like you said. I still have my gun, see!" The little boy smiled up at her while showing her the pistol in his hand, proud that he had been aloud to stay home alone and handle an important job while Clem and Luke had been out.

Clem gave a sigh as she stood back up. But she smiled down at the boy she considered her family. "I know. You did good goofball."

AJ pouted at the nickname, but his face returned to a smile as he caught a glimpse of Luke setting a large duffel bag down on the kitchen table. He ran over and knelled on one of the chairs in order to see what the man was doing. "Luke I watched the house and didn't let anything get in!"

Luke gave a small smile. "Nice job kid!" Luke loved the kids he had come to accept as his family and thought it was cute how AJ got excited over accomplishing the simplest jobs.

"Did you find any supplies while you were out?" The little boy asked as he excitedly eyed the bag that Luke was rummaging through.

"Sure did! That town a couple miles west of here seemed to be untouched. We lucked out." Luke unzipped the duffel bag and started to take out a variety of items for the kid to see. They had left in the morning and had been gone for quite some time, much to Clem's displeasure. But they were low on supplies and Luke wanted to get an early start so they wouldn't be searching when they were at the bottom of the barrel.

Clementine hated leaving AJ alone for such a long time. He may know how to shoot a gun, Clem made sure of that, but he was still only five years old. It bothered her if she was away from him for too long. There was no telling what could happen while they were away. Bandits could show up, walkers could pour in, the house could catch on fire, AJ could of fallen and gotten hurt or worse. Luke told her not to worry so much, but she couldn't help it. There were times when she didn't see herself as AJ's sister, but rather as a mom. AJ meant everything to her and she didn't want to think about if anything ever happened to him.

Luke had laid out various cans of food, some energy bars, bottles of water, some bandages, and they had even been lucky enough to find some penicillin and a bottle of Tylenol. They would be good for weeks with what they were able to bring back. Plus Clem still had her backpack that they had managed to fill as well. Speaking of the girl, Luke looked up to find the girl had disappeared. Probably to go put on her jacket after being out in the freezing rain.

He started to put there supplies away while letting AJ help at the boy's request. He found he was right, when Clem came back downstairs now with her jean jacket over her yellow shirt. He watched as she walked over and picked up her backpack and brought it over to the table so they could put their supplies away. He loved that little girl, thought she was as tough as nails, but he often thought she was too set on surviving. She never seemed to take the time to relax. Sure she played with AJ, but the kid was constantly worrying about him. Luke understood her concern but there was a point in overdoing it.

He hated that they had to grow up in a world that had gone to shit, but what could they do about it. Luke sighed, if only she had someone her own age around. People to talk to, that she could relate to. They weren't very fond of groups after a couple of bad experiences, but he just wished there were some more kids out there. It was nice when she had Sarah around for a friend. Those two always had something going on. Wither it was reading a book, playing a game, or just annoying himself and Nick. He was glad Clem at least had him and AJ to survive with. He couldn't imagine Clem having to be on her own in such crappy conditions.

After they were done putting away their things. Clem walked over to the couch and sat down in front of the fireplace to warm up. With the nights starting to get colder they had to constantly keep the fire going in order to heat the house. Last thing Luke wanted was one of the kids getting sick from the cold weather.

AJ followed her over. "Hey Clem, wanna play a game?" He asked, hopeful that she'd say yes.

Clem smiled. "Sure. How about Uno?"

"Okay!" AJ nodded happily and ran to get the card game from the bedroom. He came back not to long afterwards with the box in hand. One day when they were searching the house Luke had found a bunch of board games in a closet in one of the rooms. Clem had been overjoyed and wanted to teach AJ how to play all of them.

Luke smiled as he watched the two of them. It was nice to see her act like a kid again. He walked over to grab their attention. "So what do you guys want for dinner?"

Clem shrugged as she laid down a card. "Anything besides beans." She said making a face.

"Hey I happen to like beans!" Luke joked with her.

"We've had them for the past week. I'm sick of them."

"Me too." Added AJ as he laid down one of his cards. "Uno!" he called only having one card left in his hand.

Clem was surprised she had let him get down to one card. "No fair!" She joked with him, a smile on her face.

Luke chuckled. "Okay..." He scratched his head thinking about what they had brought back. "How about a can of Spaghettios?"

Clem smiled at him. "Sounds good." While her head was turned AJ placed down his last card. "I win!"

Clem faked her feeling of surprise for AJ's amusement. "No way! I'll get you next time."

AJ chuckled a large grin plastered across his face. "You wish!"

Luke smiled as he went to go get dinner started. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed the cans down from the cupboard.

When he returned with their food. He saw they were getting ready for another game. "Hey can I play this round?" He asked as he placed three bowls on the coffee table.

"Sure." Clem said dealing out the cards, leaving an extra hand for Luke.

Luke sat down on the floor at the end of the table closest to the fireplace. It was getting darker out as the rain continued to pound onto the roof of the house, and then proceed to slide down the side of the windows. The fire's light caused shadows to dance across the ceiling and walls as it burned in the fireplace, emitting warmth to spread throughout the room.

It was peaceful. A chance to finally just relax as they continued to play games as they ate. It was nice to be able to just enjoy life like this. Something that felt like they haven't been able to do in awhile. Sometime passed and Clem had taken their empty bowls and put them in the sink. They were in their fourth game with Luke included. It was now completely dark outside. Luke had lit various candles around the house so they'd be able to see.

Clem was seated on the floor with her back against the couch. She had surprisingly took her hat off and had set it on the couch next to her. She had just placed a five down on the top of the stack of cards when a loud crash of thunder sounded. It seemed to echo through the forest. A sharp flash of lightning followed right after, causing the room to light up for a split second, shadows littering the room.

The sudden noise caused AJ to jump. He ran over and latched on to Clem's arm.

She smiled down at him and placed an arm around him. "What's the matter goofball?"

"Your not afraid of a little thunder are ya?" Luke said playfully.

"I-its loud." AJ said as if it would explain everything.

Clem nodded. "It is."

"Loud is bad! It brings monsters." AJ stated.

Luke offered a smile towards the boy. "The walkers should be the ones who are scared when we've got someone as strong and brave as you around to stop them. You are brave. right AJ?"

AJ's spirits seemed to lift at that. "I'm brave!" He let go of Clem to prove his point. "Don't worry I'll protect you and Clem if the monsters try to get us!"

Clem gave him a comforting smile. "Don't worry AJ. Were safe inside the house."

No sooner had she said that, a gunshot pierced their ears and rang out through the woods.


	2. Someone My Age

A gunshot pierced their ears and rang out through the woods. It sent chills up Clementine's spine and caused her face to pale. If they could hear a gunshot this close to the house, someone wasn't to far away.

She saw Luke stand up and run to get his gun and machete. She stood up and turned to AJ. "Me and Luke are going to go check and make sure it's safe outside. Stay here!" She gestured for him to sit by the couch.

"But Clem I wanna help!" AJ pleaded with her.

Clem shook her head. "It's too dangerous and we don't know who could be out there."

AJ hung his head in disappointment. "Okay."

Luke offered him a smile from the door. "Don't worry kiddo. Will be back soon. In the mean time you can keep an eye on the house." He waited for Clem to join him before they both bolted out into the rain, not caring anymore if they got wet. There groups safety came first.

It was pitch black out, the sky a heavy overcast as the storm clouds cried tears of rain. Occasionally the thunder would roll and a spark of lightning brought light to the surrounding area for a split second. Clem hated thunderstorms. They always brought walkers. The constant noise leading the dead heads into large groups and in various directions.

Her thoughts were pulled from a shout from Luke. "Over here! This way." She saw Luke take off into the woods and followed close behind.

Eventually she started to pick up the sounds of someone shouting at another person. "There's one behind you!" She heard them say.

She and Luke came to a halt, almost bumping into him. Walkers were everywhere. They seamed to be surrounding what appeared to be two teenagers, no doubt the storm brought them.

A boy with dreadlocks, wearing a brown trench coat was swinging what appeared to be a chair leg with a few nails sticking out of it, trying his beast to keep the walkers away. "Hey ugly! Come and get it!" He yelled before colliding the chair leg with the head of the closest walker.

"Louis, stop talking and swing!" Said the girl that was next to him. She had blond hair and was wearing a hoodie with a vest over it.

Clem thought she looked kind of cute. She shook her head. Cute? Where had that come from?

The girl had a cleaver in one hand, and with a swift motion slid it right into the brains of the next walker in line. She went to take the knife out of the walker's skull, but it had gotten lodged in. "Shit!" She cried as she tried to pull the weapon free, various walkers approaching. The continuous rain didn't help her grip on the knife.

The walkers neared closer, snarling, and ready to take a bite of flesh. One of the dead was about a foot away, arms outstretched to grab a hold of it's victim. The girl tried to back up, but was cornered. And just when the two teens thought all hope was lost. A shot was fired, sending a bullet through the head of the walker closest to her.

Luke had fired. The noise sending Clem back into survival mode. She aimed her gun at the approaching walkers killing a few before switching to her knife. Not wanting to waste bullets or attract more walkers with the noise, she quickly inserted the blade into each walker she passed, slowly clearing a path for the two. Luke taking out his machete to help as well.

The blond girl took the opportunity to put her foot against the dead walkers body and pushed off to give the action more force, causing the blade to slip free. Right after she sent it back into another walkers skull.

The number of walkers was starting to decrease, but the initial noise had attracted more. They were starting to gather in the distance, and slowly started to limp their way over. Luke took out one more, leaving an opening from which they could escape. "Come on! Let's go!"

Clem turned around and briefly locked eyes with the new girl, who gave her a slight smile, before following Luke's lead. The new kids didn't need to be told twice to follow the two survivors. They all took off in a sprint back towards the house, leaving the walkers in the pouring rain.

They didn't stop running till they had made it back to the house. Luke paused at the door to allow the others to catch up, Clem close behind him, with the other two following. Once on the porch the boy bent over and put his hands on his knees in order to catch his breath. "Well, glad that that's over."

Luke took the moment to get their bearings, wanting to know a little about these people before they just invited them in. "You guys okay? We heard the gun shot and checked to see if someone was in trouble."

The boy smiled. "Yeah, thanks. Don't know what we would of done if you guys hadn't shown up." He turned to the blond haired girl next to him who had her arms crossed. "I'd call that a B-plus performance there Vi. You've done better" He joked.

The girl in question gave him a glare and stuck up her middle finger towards him. "Fuck off." Then she went back to folding her arms.

He put his hand over his heart pretending to be hurt. "Fine! B-minus then!" Then he turned back to Clem and Luke and smiled. "Don't mind Violet. She's always like this. I'm Louis by the way. Sorry about all this."

Luke realizing they weren't going to be a threat, put his hands on his hips. "I'm Luke, this here is Clementine." He gestured to the girl next to him. "Don't worry. You guys are safe with us."

"Clementine huh. You were pretty good out there. That was solid A material. A-plus even." Louis complemented.

Clem had her arms crossed, not knowing weather they should trust these strangers or not. She had been surprised to find them. She hadn't seen anyone close to her age in a long time. The complement seemed to throw her for a loop and her expression softened. "I-uh thanks." She decided that she liked Louis. His sense of humor was at least enlightening. She looked towards Violet and noticed the glum expression on her face and her slouched position. She didn't know why, but she felt different when she looked at Violet. Not wanting her to be left out she spoke up "You kicked ass Violet, A-plus."

Violet looked up and a small smile tugged at her lips. "Yeah, I know."

The small reply caused Clem to smile at her. She felt this weird feeling in her chest, but it was interrupted when Louis spoke up. "You're both delusional." He joked.

Luke smiled. It was nice to see Clementine interact with someone her own age. Maybe these two where just what she needed. "Well why don't you two come on in. We can talk more once where inside and out of this rain." His wet clothes starting to make him uncomfortable.

Louis smiled. "Don't have to tell me twice."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever." Violet replied.

Luke turned the door knob and pushed the door open. He gestured for Louis and Violet to go in first, forgetting something important.

Louis and Violet walked into the spacious living room with Luke and Clem right behind them. The light from the fire flickering across there faces as it danced around the room, emitting a low glow over the place.

Louis looked around the room impressed at the size of the place they had. "Haven't been in a place like this since..."

Him and Violet immediately raised there hands at the sound of a click from a gun.

A small pistol pointed in their direction. "Don't move!"


	3. Our Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to get a little back story from Violet and Louis.

Clem stood shocked. Once she came to her senses she shouted at the boy holding the gun. "AJ! Put the gun down!"

AJ took his eyes off of the new comers to look at Clem, feeling hurt at her harsh words. He was only trying to do what they told him. "But they came into the house. I thought they were going to hurt you!"

Luke raised his hands. "Were okay. You can put the gun down now. They ain't gonna hurt us."

AJ looked back to Louis and Violet, then back at Clem before finally lowering the gun in his hands. He stuck it back into his pocket. He ran over to Clem and stood slightly behind her wary of the new people in the house.

Louis gave a sigh of relief as he and Violet lowered there hands back to their sides. "Well that's one way to introduce yourself."

Violet folded her arms as she turned to Clem. "You always try to get peoples heads blown off the moment you meet them?"

Clem walked over towards the group. "Sorry. AJ was told to keep an eye on the house while we were out. He didn't know you'd be with us."

Luke chuckled. "Guess a heads up about who was in the house would of helped. Sorry about that." He looked to the couch. "Why don't you have a seat. You guys hungry?

Louis smiled. "That's nice of you, but are you sure?"

Luke waved them off. "Don't worry about it. We've got plenty and you guys look like you could use it after what happened." He left to go grab two cans of beans from the kitchen cupboard.

During that time Clem had moved to go sit on the couch on the right side of the coffee table, AJ refusing to leave her side. She looked down at him with concern written on her face. "AJ you should probably apologize to Violet and Louis." She whispered to the boy.

AJ frowned. "I didn't know you had invited them in. I thought they were going to hurt us."

Clem nodded. "I know. You did a good job protecting the house, but you should still apologize for pointing a gun at them."

He looked down at the floor. "Right now?"

Clem reasoned with him. "In a few minutes."

AJ nodded. "Okay."

After talking with Luke, Louis moved to sit on the plaid couch opposite of Clem and AJ after taking off his soaked trench coat and hanging it on the back of a chair. Violet joined him, not caring if her clothes were wet. A sour expression still on her face after having been threatened upon entry. Luke joined them a minute later carrying two cans in his hands. He handed them over to the two teens who thanked him.

Luke laid down on the floor again at the edge of the coffee table, the heat from the fire helping to warm his damp clothes. He turned his concentration to the two kids in front of him. "So what were you guys doing out in the middle of the woods...if you don't mind me asking?"

Louis looked to Violet before answering. She gave him a saddened look. He put the nearly empty can down on the table before replying. "We were actually lucky to be out in the storm, all things considering. We used to live at a school not to far from here." He pointed out the window. "Back that way a bit."

"So, what happened?" Luke asked curious. "You said lived, right?"

Clem was also curious as to where these two had come from. She kept looking between Louis and Violet trying to piece together their story. For one they didn't seem like the type to just be out in the middle of the woods, alone and together.

Violet scoffed as she put down her can. "Some child snatching assholes showed up! That's what."

Louis tried to reason with her. "Come on Vi. It wasn't like..."

"You know damn well that Marlon was in on this, after what he did to the twins and Brody. He was going to give us away too." She glared daggers at him, but hurt was clearly written on her face as well.

Louis sighed. "It had been the two of us and a handful of other kids hold up at Ericson's Boarding School for Troubled Youth. We had managed well for the most part. Until recently a group of raiders had attacked us. We had managed to drive them away, but this kid named Marlon..." Louis choked on his words, but continued on. "He was our leader and my best friend. But after the first attack he...he just lost it."

Violet rolled her eyes having no more sympathy for the boy in question. "Fuck Marlon! He sold the twins to those assholes just to keep himself safe!" She yelled at Louis.

Louis put his hands up in defense. "I'm not defending what he did." He turned back to Luke. "It was fucked up. The raiders came back a few days later demanding that we all come with them, that they needed us. All hell broke lose. A girl named Brody tried to tell us what Marlon had done and he...killed her because she knew."

Luke gave them a sad look. "Damn."

Louis nodded. "The raiders had busted down the gates and tried to force us to come with them. Marlon had tried to fight back, but ended up with a bullet to the brain."

Clem winced at that. Groups never seemed to work out. There was always someone who had gone crazy with power. Always an argument that breaks out. Always bandits or raiders trying to take over. That's why she preferred just being with Luke and AJ, it was easier that way. No one got hurt if you were with people you knew you could trust.

"Me and Violet were able to escape out the back, but...we have no idea if anyone else made it." Louis had a saddened look on his face. His cheerful mood that Clem had known him for was completely gone.

Then Violet spoke up. "We were walking for a few hours after that. Then the storm hit. Walkers flooded the place. We only had one bullet left in our gun, fired it off after a close call. Then you guys showed up."

Clem took the moment to speak up. "We heard the gun shot from inside. We were worried someone might want to rob us."

Louis smirked, starting to feel like his old self again. "Well I hope you weren't disappointed." He smiled. "Were not robbers if you were wondering." He joked with her.

Clem sent him a smile. It was nice to have someone so bright and cheerful around. Lately her thoughts had kept her busy, drifting from thought to thought. It usually didn't end well when she let her mind drift. It brought back painful memories. But hearing the positive and coolness of Louis's voice helped ease that fear.

Don't get her wrong. She had been a little fearful of the new comers when they had first met. They had no idea where these people had come from or if they had a group or what. But spending these last few moments with them made her feel like she could trust them. Louis obviously wasn't a threat, unless you were allergic to bad jokes. And Violet...well Clem didn't quite know. Violet definitely wasn't the most outgoing person, but Clem could tell she was nicer than she let on. In a way Violet kind of reminded her of herself. Maybe she could finally hang out with someone closer to her age.

Luke's next question broke Clem from her thought. "So...what are your plans now?"

Violet shrugged in response. "Everyone's either probably dead or taken. So...not like we have much of a reason to go back."

"Honestly, we were just trying to get away from the school." Louis scratched the back of his head. "Hadn't really thought that far a head."

Luke looked over to Clementine hoping the girl could read his eyes. He wanted to make sure she was cool with it before making a decision. Clem caught his gaze and could tell what he wanted to ask. She shook her head in approval a bit more willingly than Luke thought she would. He smiled at her before turning back to the two teens. "Well you guys are allowed to stay with us for a while if ya like."

"Really?" Violet raised a brow, surprised that these so called strangers would so willingly take them in. Not that she was complaining.

Clem spoke up. "To be honest the house is kinda big for just the three of us. And... I think it'd be kind of cool if you stayed with us." Her voice had trailed off and the last part came out as a whisper. Violet seemed to have caught it though and gave Clem a surprised look.

Clem felt heat rise to her face. Thankfully Louis's voice pulled Violet's attention away from her. "Sounds cool, as long as the kid is alright with us. I personally would like to keep my head." He said referring to the gun AJ had pulled on them.

Clem turned to the boy next to her. "What do you think AJ?"

AJ thought about it for a minute. Then he looked up and smiled. "Yeah, I think you should stay." He looked back at Clem and saw her nod her head towards the two. AJ realized what she wanted. He took a deep breath before replying. "I'm sorry I pointed a gun at you. I didn't know Luke and Clem had invited you in. I was just trying to protect them, honest."

Louis smiled at him. "It's all cool little dude."

Clem's gaze drifted over to Violet. She wondered if the girl would be alright with it. A small smile washed over Violet's face. "Yeah, were cool."

Clem let lose a breath she didn't know she was holding in. She was glad Violet had forgiven AJ and that they had agreed to spend the night. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is very important. Clem and Violet are going to spend some one on one time together. :)


	4. Moonlight Butterflies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter! Hope you guys like this one! :)

Clem woke with a shock. She bolted upright in bed, her breathing rapid, sweat drenching her back. She put a hand to her head and waited for her breathing to return to normal. Stupid nightmares. She thought to herself. Fucking Carver.

Every night it was something else. Visions of having to shot Lee, seeing her parents as walkers, the night she lost Kenny, Sarah being killed by walkers, the Russians attacking their group and shooting Rebecca, the dangers of Carver's camp, the night at the ranch...The list went on and on. She had lost so many people. So many people had died because of her. And each night someone always seemed to be haunting her dreams, almost making it unbearable to sleep.

She swung her legs off the side of the bed and stood up, there was no way she was getting back to sleep now. She thought about waking Luke up so he could comfort her, but decided against it. He would always tell her to wake him if she wanted to talk about it, but she had already woken him three times this past week. Luke always said it was fine, but she knew he was tired and needed sleep.

She looked over to the bed on the other side of the room where AJ was fast asleep. She quickly grabbed her hat before quietly making her way out of the room, careful not to wake the sleeping boy as she closed the door behind her.

She needed time to clear her head. Luke had taught her to breath in and out when ever she was scared, stressed, or angry. It helped to calm her down so she could think straight. She taught AJ the same way. It really helped to calm herself in tough situations. The nightmares had been very persistent a while back and had caused Clem to fall into some dark times. One night had been to much. She hadn't slept for most of the week. Kenny had died the following day and it had just been to much on her. She blamed herself for the whole ordeal. So many deaths were already on her hands. She couldn't live like this and had attempted to kill herself. She couldn't bring herself to do it, then Luke found her gun in hand.

He had talked her out of it, said how he needed her and how she had to keep going for AJ's sake. Her actions had scared the hell out of him. Not wanting anything like this to happen again. Luke started to sleep in the same room as her so he could be there when ever she had a nightmare. Luke's constant comfort and support helped Clem move on and start to feel human again, even if the nightmares still persisted. She didn't know what she'd do without him and AJ.

AJ had definitely been a huge motivator for her. He was alive because of her and she would risk her own life just to keep him safe. That was the promise she had made, not only to Rebecca and Kenny, but to herself as well.

Clem walked down the stairs and into the now darkened living room. The fire having turned to embers that had settled at the bottom of the fireplace. She looked around and almost jumped when she spotted a figure on the couch, having forgotten that they had two more people living with them now. She relaxed once she realized it was Louis. He laid there with his mouth wide open and limbs strewn about, soft snores escaping him every once in a while.

Clem would of laughed at the look on his face if it wasn't for the disappearance of a certain blond haired girl. She looked to the other couch and noticed Violet was no where to be seen. She wondered where the girl could have gone.

She looked around and her eyes fell on the front door. The door being slightly ajar. She walked closer and could hear a noise come from outside. Curious she opened the door a little more and looked outside. She could see Violet leaning against the wood railing, arms folded and staring up at the sky.

Clem slowly stepped outside and carefully closed the door behind her, not wanting to scare the girl. "Violet?" She spoke softly.

Violet turned around surprised to see the other girl, she thought she was alone. "Uh...shit. I didn't wake you, did I?"

Clem shook her head. "No. I was already up." She paused for a moment before adding. "What about you? I didn't see you on the couch. What are you doing outside?"

"Couldn't sleep." She simply replied and turned her head back towards the stars.

Clem nodded in understanding. She walked over towards the railing to stand next to her. She looked up and saw the sky had cleared after the storm. The stars littered the sky with bright dots and the moon shown a bright glow onto the two of them.

"What about you?" Violet turned to face Clem.

Clem was taken aback by this. She really didn't want to tell Violet her life story at the moment. "I...uh...Bad dream." She simply said.

Violet nodded. "You...uh wanna talk about it."

Clem bit her lip in hesitation. "I-I'd rather not." She looked down at the ground. Violet hadn't pushed her into telling her what had happened. She liked that about her. "I-I don't like talking about the past. There are things I don't like remembering. Having people is nice..." She leaned against the railing and looked out towards the stars. "But it always ends up hurting in the end."

Violet took a second to process what Clem had said before she too turned to look out at the stars, taking in their breathtaking presence. "Sometimes I need the quiet. Just to get away for a while."

Clem gave her a small smile. "Yeah, me too."

Violet smiled back, before a frown appeared on her face again. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared down at the floor. "Sorry if I came off as an asshole earlier. I'm not exactly a people person. You know. I know I sometimes have a habit...have a habit of being a little to harsh." Violet apologized.

Clem smiled. "You come off alright. I thought you were pretty cool."

Violet didn't know how to respond at first, but a smile made it's way across her lips. "Oh..uh...thanks. You were pretty cool too, against those walkers."

"Thanks." Clem felt that strange feeling in her chest again as she stared at Violet. The moon lighting up her green eyes, giving them life. And that smile she had sent her caused her heart to speed up slightly. She couldn't understand what was going on with her, but she kind of liked it. It just seemed so easy to talk to Violet.

Clem quickly looked away once she realized she was staring, a faint blush made it's way onto her cheeks. She tried to cover her embarrassment with a question. "So...uh...What landed you in a boarding school for troubled youth?" Honestly it probably wasn't the best question for her to ask. It had been the spur of the moment kind of thing, but she was kind of curious. Not that it really mattered now anyway.

Violet shrugged. "My stupid parents. I grew up in a very religious household, so the moment they found out I was gay, they shipped me off to the school. To bad for them it didn't really help. Me and Minnie...I...we were close..."

Clem noticed how the question had brought Violet's mood down. She started to feel guilty. "Sorry, I shouldn't of brought it up."

Violet waved her off. "No...no it's fine. Honestly, you would of found out sooner or later anyway. Louis can never keep his mouth shut for more than five minutes."

"Guess I was lucky he was asleep when I came downstairs then." Clem joked.

Violet huffed. "Huh...Yeah. About the only time he shuts up."

Clem giggled. "Did you see the look on his face while he was asleep?"

Violet gave a small laugh. "I know, right."

This caused both girls to laugh. Even asleep Louis was still making people laugh.

Once the quiet took over again Clem spoke up. "It's nice, you know...Having someone my age to talk to again."

"I..uh..Yeah...me too." Violet looked to the girl in the baseball cap. The moon's florescent light making her golden eyes shine. A cool breeze blew past and caused some of her lose curls to sway in the wind. Violet thought it looked cute. "With the twins gone, the school can get a little to bro-town for my liking. It's nice to have someone to talk to again."

Clem smiled the complement making her blush slightly again. It was nice having Violet around. They were a lot alike in some ways. It just felt so natural being around her. She was glad they had offered them to stay. If they hadn't Clem would probably be sitting in her room for hours on end, staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep.

Violet had made all of that go away. There conversation had distracted Clem form the horrors that haunted her each night. Sure Luke would of happily stayed up and comforted her, but it was different with Violet. For once she actually felt like someone knew what she was going through.

She saw Violet move out of the corner of her eye. "I'm gonna head back inside. Try to get some sleep." Violet said as she walked towards the door. "You coming?"

Clem was a little disappointing that Vi was leaving, but understood. "I'll be in, in a minute." She didn't think she was quite ready to go back to bed just yet.

Violet nodded. "Alright." She smiled to the brunette. "Night Clem."

"G-goodnight." Clem said. She watched the blond walk back through the door. There was that feeling again when Vi had smiled at her. It made her feel sick, but a good kind of sick. Like when she was excited and would get butterflies. Hugh! What was wrong with her? She couldn't explain it. She had only met this girl today, and yet it felt like Clem could talk to her about anything and everything. Violet could be sincere one minute then make her laugh the next. Talking with Violet made her feel happy and nervous at the same time.

She looked back up at the stars, taking in their beauty. Watching, as if waiting for them to answer all of her questions. They shined so brightly now that there wasn't any electricity. She thought about the shapes that they could make, as some stood out more than others. She wondered what Violet had been doing before she had found her outside. She sighed, everything seemed to lead back to the blond girl. Clem just couldn't stop thinking about her.

She shook her head and rolled her eyes for thinking like this. She decided she'd have to ask Luke about it later. Then a cold breeze blew past. She wrapped her arms around herself. She hadn't realized how cold it really was out here until now. She stared up at the moon one last time before turning around and heading back inside, hoping to catch a little more sleep.


	5. How did I not Know?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys! Hope you all liked that moment between Clementine and Violet last chapter. :)

Clem opened her eyes as the sunlight coming in from the window flooded the room. She sat up and smiled to herself. After talking to Violet last night, sleep had come easily. For the rest of the night she had been nightmare free. What a relief it was to finally be able to sleep for more than two hours at a time.

Speaking of which, she looked across the room to find the other bed empty. AJ must of already been up.

She stood up and made her way to the door, making sure to grad her hat first. She walked down the stairs and headed towards the kitchen, where she could hear Louis's voice followed by the sound of laughter. Everyone must of already been up. Jeez! How late had she slept in? She was usually the first one up. But that was mostly because of her nightmares keeping her on her toes.

She shrugged it off as she turned the corner and stood in the kitchen entrance. She could see everyone seated at the dinning room table. Her appearance caught the attention of Luke, who was apparently laughing at something Louis had just said.

"Clem, your finally up. I was worried I'd have to drag you out of bed." He joked with her.

Clem moved past him and opened one of the cabinets that held there supplies and pulled down a can of peaches for breakfast, it was her favorite fruit. "Sorry...I went to bed late last night." She turned around and her eyes landed on Violet who was seated next to Louis, arms folded and in a slouched position. She sent Clem a small smile before Luke spoke again.

"Another nightmare keeping you up?" He asked, concern written on his face. Wondering if it was indeed the case, and if so why she hadn't talked to him about it.

Clem felt heat rise to her face and rubbed the back of her neck nervously. She caught Violet's gaze once more as the events from last night flooded her mind. It caused her stomach to do another flip. "I...a...something like that." It was true, she had been woken up by another terrifying dream that her mind just loved to replay when ever sleep overtook her. But she wasn't about to share the details of the moment spent outside with Violet to everyone present. Though she still wanted to talk to Luke alone about it.

She took a seat next to Luke and started to eat the peaches in the can. Louis took notice of the label and decided to comment on it. "Don't you think oranges would be a better fit." He smirked at her.

Clem rolled her eyes at his outburst. Why did everyone always have to make jokes about her name. She shrugged her shoulders in response. "I've never been a fan. Peaches are much better."

Louis looked at the can again. "Clem, you didn't tell us you where famous!"

Clem furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. What did he mean?

He nodded his head at the can. "That girl looks just like you."

It caught AJ's attention. "Where I wanna see?" He looked across the table at the can on the edge of the table, seeing the girl on the label with the same dark, short, hair that Clem had. "Your right it does!"

Clem sighed. She knew Luke was smiling at her since he had told her the same exact thing before. "Why does everyone always say that?" She asked to no one in particular.

"I'd say you two could be sisters." Louis tried to keep from laughing until Violet punched him in the arm. "Ow! What was that for?"

"For telling such shitty jokes." She replied, a scowl on her face.

She brightened when she saw Clem send her a smile. "Come on Vi, your just jealous that you don't have a talent like mine."

She scoffed at him. "I think the walkers have more talent than you."

Louis put his hand over his heart, must be something he did often, as Clem recalled him doing it before. "Vi you wound me."

This caused AJ to giggle at the two's bickering. Clem shook her head but smiled, It was nice to have something interesting going on for a change.

The moment was interrupted when Luke stood up. His chair making noise as it scraped against the wooden floor, grabbing their attention. "Alright we've got some work to do. I'm gonna head out and gather fire wood. Need to get a head start before winter hits. You guys mind helping out?" He looked to the two teens seated at the other end of the table.

Louis nodded. "Sure. Just tell us what you need done."

Luke nodded his head. "Thanks for helping out."

Violet shrugged. "Eh, were used to it."

Louis decided to elaborate for them. "We all used to have our own jobs back at the school. So it's nothing new to us."

"Well Louis isn't used to it, but the rest of us were." Violet said, referring to how Louis liked to slack off.

"Well I still appreciate the help." Luke reassured.

"Can I help too?" AJ asked the man in the orange shirt, giving his best puppy dog eyes.

Luke chuckled. "Of course kiddo."

Clem was quick to add, "But be careful and stay close to the house." She warned.

AJ nodded. "I will."

Clem thought this was perfect. While everyone was busy she could talk to Luke alone.

It was about an hour later, the sky was a light blue color with a few white clouds scattered hear and there. It would have been nice out if it wasn't for the cold wind that blew past every few minutes. The chill trying to work it's way down into to her bones. If it wasn't for her jacket, there would be goosebumps along Clem's arm. Clem put the thought aside, it could always be way worse.

She made her way across the yard and over to where Luke was standing, chopping some wood into the right sized pieces. She had left AJ with Violet and Louis at the moment, while they completed their own tasks. "Luke can I talk to you for a moment?" She asked shyly.

Luke stopped what he was doing and wiped the sweat from his brow. "Of course Clem." He put the ax down that he had been holding. "What's up."

He looked over to the teen girl in question and noticed how she had her right hand rubbing her left arm. A habit she had when ever she was nervous about something. His expression turned to one of concern. "Clem what's wrong? You can tell me."

Clem bit her lip. She wasn't exactly sure what was wrong. That's why she needed Luke's help in the first place. "I...um..." She couldn't look him in the eye. Ugh! Why was this so difficult? She had always sucked at sharing her feelings to other people.

Luke offered her a reassuring smile. "Just breath and take your time."

Clem took his advice and inhaled deeply before breathing out. She could do this. "L-last night I...I was out on the porch with Violet..." She paused and glanced at Luke. She continued on seeing him listening carefully to everything she was saying. "And...and we were talking... but every time she would smile at me or say something I would get this weird feeling in my chest, and I would get nervous and my heart would speed up, and I don't know what's going on, or why it's happening, and I wanted to talk to you about it, because it's not going away." She stopped to finally catch her breath after saying so much at once. She sighed. "I just, don't understand."

Luke had been surprised at how much information she had just thrown at him, but he was able to comprehend what Clem was telling him. A smile worked it's way onto his face and he couldn't help but chuckle at Clem's innocence. He knew she wasn't used to being around other people, but she couldn't be this oblivious...Could she?

Clem seemed taken back when Luke started laughing at her. "What? What's so funny? What's wrong with me?"

Luke smiled, apparently she could. "Nothing's wrong Clem." He waited a moment for his laughter to die down.

"Then what is it?" Clem crossed her arms in annoyance.

"Clem, what do you think of Violet?" He asked her.

Clem's eyes widened. "W-what? I...I..um" Her face reddened, a visible blush on her cheeks. Luke folded his arms and smiled at her as she stumbled over her words. "I...she's cool. I like her. I..I think she's fun to hang out with and..." He voice trailed off.

Luke looked down at the girl purposely avoiding his gaze, a bright blush on her face. "Clem, It seems to me you've got a crush on Violet." He stated blankly as if it was nothing new.

Clem's eyes widened for the second time. "What! But..but..I..." Her face became a deeper shade of red if that was even possible. She, had a crush on Violet. As in the Violet they had just met. She covered her face with her hands. "Oh god!" How could she of not known, of course it was a crush. Why else would her heart do somersaults in her chest every time the girl sent a smile her way.

Luke chuckled at the girls embarrassment again. "Honey, it's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"But we just met them." Clem pointed out. How could she fall in love this fast.

"So, It's totally normal to like someone." Luke told her.

"But..but she's a girl..." She paused for a moment. "Is..is that bad?" She generally asked. She knew some people frowned upon girls liking girls or guys liking guys. Not that it really mattered anymore she guessed. She hoped Luke wasn't mad at her. She couldn't help feeling this way.

Luke shook his head a smile still plastered in his face. "No, it's not bad at all. If you like someone for who they are then you should be allowed to like them no matter what gender they are." He reassured her.

A small smile worked it's way onto her lips. She reached out and hugged Luke, which he gladly accepted. "Thanks Luke."

He released her from the hug and pushed the bill of her baseball cap over her eyes in a friendly manner. "No problem kid."

She giggled at the gesture as she fixed her hat. But her smile quickly disappeared as a thought crossed her mind. "Luke how do make this feeling go away?" She had to admit, she didn't mind having feelings for Violet, but the constant flips her heart and stomach did were driving her crazy.

Luke smiled. "You could start by telling Violet how you feel."

Her heart skipped a beat. "I...I can't." She stuttered.

"It'll make you feel better." He told her.

"I...Can't...I'm...not ready." She explained to him. "I don't think I could do it. What if she doesn't like me back?" Clementine was terrible when it came to romance. She would probably just screw something up.

"Clem I think anyone would be considered lucky to be with you. Your an amazing girl. You can do anything." He told her. He knew her better than anyone and he knew that if she put her mind to it she really could do anything. He held back a knowing smile. This wasn't the first time he had, had this conversation today.

Clem shook her head. "I..can't, not yet." She still couldn't believe she had a crush, on Violet no less. A girl she had just met yesterday. Yet Clem felt like she could of told her anything under those stars last night, except how she felt.

Luke sighed. "It's only going to get worse the longer you wait...trust me I know." He mumbled the last part.

Clem was about to say something else, when she heard a voice call her name. "Hey Clementine!"

She looked and saw Violet walking over towards her. Her blond hair blowing in the wind.

"Dammit." She thought. Clementine felt her heart speed up faster. It pounded in her chest like a hammer against her rib cage. She didn't think she could talk to Violet right now without becoming a blushing mess and stuttering words. She had only just realized her crush on Violet, with Luke's help, and she was falling, falling fast. God help her!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter down. Yay!
> 
> I feel like this showed more of Clem's season two side than season four, but I went with it. Let me know what you guys think.
> 
> Secret Life of Writing Out! :)


	6. Music and Memories

Clem could hear her heart beat inside her ears as the world became clouded. God what was she going to do? What would she say? She had really wanted to have time to think about this before talking to Violet again. Not that she planned on telling Violet how she felt. How she felt...

Okay, so maybe she wasn't in love with the girl, but there were definitely feelings for her. She could do this. They had just talked last night.

Clem shook her head, then took a deep breath. It seamed to calm her nerves a bit, but did little to slow her racing heart. The girl with blond hair reached the duo a few seconds later. "Me and Louis just finished up. I wanted to know if you needed help with anything or... whatever?" Violet had her hands in her pockets and slightly kept her eye sight towards the ground.

Clem tried to will herself to speak, but nothing would come out. She was as silent as the stars they had talked under. She felt herself start to sweat at the suspension of not giving an answer. Luckily Luke came to her rescue at seeing the distress on her face.

"I got the rest of this." He told Violet, picking up his ax again. "Why don't you guys go have some fun." A knowing smile on his face.

Clem cleared her throat, trying to swallow her nerves. She hoped she wasn't still blushing. "Uh...O-okay." She turned to Violet trying to not let her voice waver. "W-why don't I show you and Louis around some more."

Violet shrugged her shoulders. "Yeah. Sure. Sounds cool."

Clem started to make her way back towards the house, her first few steps a bit shaky. She quickly forced herself to get a grip so as to not embarrass herself in front of Violet. She let loose a breath she had been holding in. She couldn't let this stupid crush get the best of her. They should just spend the rest of the day hanging out as friends. She hadn't noticed that she had stopped in front of the door and was now just staring at it, until Violet spoke up.

"Are you going to open the door or just stare at it?" She said a little harsher than she wanted to.

Clem shook her head and a blush crept onto her face. "Sorry! Sorry!" She began to slightly panic.

Violet gave her a confused, but worried look. Her expression softened. "Hey, are you okay? You seem a little spaced out this morning." She brought her hand to rest on Clem's shoulder.

Clem quickly shrugged the gesture away, assuring she was okay. "Yeah, yeah I...I'm fine." She calmed herself again. "Just a lot on my mind is all. I'll be fine." She pushed the door open trying not to think about how Violet had just touched her shoulder. Upon entry she saw AJ and Louis in the living room.

Violet wasn't to sure, but didn't push the subject. Whatever it was, Clem clearly didn't want to talk about it.

"Clem!" AJ shouted and ran up to hug the girl the moment he had seen her enter.

"Hey there goofball." She hugged him back, forgetting about that little slip up that had just occurred.

"Finally, you guys are back!" Came Louis's voice. He had his hands on his hips as he stared at the three of them. "I was worried you had become walker food with how long you were taking."

Violet rolled her eyes as she shut the door behind her. "You just have the patience of a four year old." She told him.

"That is so not true!" He yelled back. "I have the patience of a five year old thank you very much." He folded his arms. "Go ahead, ask AJ."

Violet rolled her eyes again. "Whatever you say."

"So..." Louis threw himself on the couch as Clem walked over. "what are we doing now?"

Clem sat down on the other couch. "Well I was thinking we could show you the rest of the house. Then I thought maybe we could attempt to see what's in the guest bedroom and possibly fix it up so you two wouldn't have to sleep on the couch."

Louis nodded. "Sounds good." He picked himself up from off the couch.

AJ got excited. "Come on! I wanna show you mine and Clem's room first." He ran ahead of the three of them and up the stairs, Louis right behind him.

Clem looked to Violet and gave a sheepish smile as she shrugged her shoulders at AJ's enthusiasm. She gestured her arm towards the stairs allowing Violet to go first. The blond gladly accepted and Clem followed behind her.

AJ led them from room to room, clearly excited at getting to showing their two new house guests around. Clem was glad he was acting like the little kid he should be. They started at one end of the hallway and made there way down. First stopping at the upstairs bathroom, then Luke's room, a closet, and then finally Clem and AJ's room. Violet had been surprised at all the animal skulls that Clem had lined the book shelf with. From a deer down to a cat skull. Clem explained how she thought they were cool and edgy looking. She didn't think Clem was that kind of person, but she liked them too and thought they were cool looking. Louis almost breaking one in the process.

The tour was making Clem forget all about her crush on the blond who was next to her. They had gone through yet another bedroom that didn't have much excitement to it, but the next room really caught Louis's attention. "Oh, ho! You guys didn't tell me you had a piano!" He ran up to it excitedly and rubbed his hand across the surface of the wooden piano's frame, clearing some of the dust that had accumulated over the years.

"Oh god!" Violet put a hand to her head in annoyance. "Don't get him started."

Clem gave them both confused looks. "What? It's just a piano." She folded her arms to make a point.

Louis put his hand over his heart. "Just a piano. Clem you haven't lived until you've heard what these keys can do." He pressed down on one of the keys to see if it still in fact worked. He was rewarded with a high pitched ring. "Ha! Still works too." He took a seat then cracked his knuckles. "Now let's see what this baby can do."

Louis began to play a melody on the piano while AJ watched with amazement, having never heard or seen something like it before. Violet seemed less impressed. She turned to Clementine. "Sorry. We had a piano back at the school and Louis used to play to keep busy. Personally I think it was just to annoy the rest of us. He also claims he's very musical, that is if you call that talent."

Louis stopped playing to defend himself. "Hey I have plenty of skill. Your just mad because you have no musical talent." Then he went back to replaying the previous melody.

Violet rolled her eyes at his comment. Clem on the other hand was listening intently to the song he was playing and how the same melody would just play over and over. "You don't know any others?"

Louis stopped playing and looked at her, a smirk working it's way onto his face. "Well there is one...but your armed." Referring to the knife in her pocket. When Clem gave him a funny look he shook his head and started to play the simple melody. "Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling Clementine..."

AJ gasped at the mention of her name and turned to see Clem's reaction. Clem wasn't having any of it. "Please play something else."

Louis finished with. "Dreadful sorry Clementine." Which caused Clem to roll her eyes. Then she took notice of how AJ seemed curious about the large instrument. She smiled at his innocence. "What do ya think AJ?"

AJ shrugged. "I don't know. It-it's loud."

Clem nodded. "It is."

AJ's smile dropped to a frown. "Loud is bad."

Clem shook her head. "Not always."

Louis wanted to spike AJ's interest. He moved over on the bench. "Here, come press this key." He pointed to one of the white keys towards the end.

AJ seemed hesitant, but Clem encouraged him on. "Go ahead AJ. Press it."

Reluctantly AJ made his way over towards Louis and pushed down the key Louis had pointed to receiving the desired sound. A smile started to form on his face as Louis told him to press various keys resulting in a slow version of the melody he had been playing earlier.

"With enough practice you'll be better than me in no time." Louis told the five year old. Then he turned to the girl with the baseball cap. "We already know Violet sucks, so Clem it's your turn."

Violet gave Louis the finger behind Clem's back without saying anything.

Clem put her hands up in hesitation. "I'm good. I've never really been a fan of the piano. I'd probably suck at it anyway." She told him.

Louis shrugged. "Your loss." He stood back up to join the others as they walked out of the room.

Clem continued to explain herself as they made there way back downstairs having checked all the rooms upstairs. "It was nice to hear music again though. Your not half bad." She complimented Louis. "We had found it while searching the house, but none of us play and it wasn't a huge concern at the time, so we never really payed much attention to it. We never really had a reason to go into that room. So out of sight, out of mind." They were all seated on the couches in the living room again. "Besides Luke's' more of a guitar guy."

Louis's eyes brightened. "Whoa, he plays?"

She shrugged. "Well that's what he said. I've never heard him play before though." A slight smile appeared on her face. "He said him and his friend Nick used to play in high school. That and how Nick got hit in the head with a guitar once." She chuckled to herself.

Louis continued to gush at his love for music. "I've never owned a guitar, but I've always wanted to learn how to play."

Clem noticed how quite Violet had gotten at the mention of the guitar and looked to see the girl sitting next to her. "You ever play Vi?"

Violet looked up surprised that Clem had asked her something, having gotten used to being quiet and distant from the conversation. "Not me personally...but...we used to have this girl, Minerva was her name. She was really musical. Not like Louis though, she had actual talent."

"Hey!" Louis yelled at being made fun of.

It got a laugh out of Clem.

A smile appeared on Violet's face seeing how she got Clem to laugh. "She had the most amazing voice. Real bluesy. Marlon always joked that he would scavenge a guitar and the two of them would tour the country." The smile slowly disappeared from her face. Clem noticed how Violet's voice changed to a much more depressing tone. "That was a long time ago. I shouldn't of even brought it up. It's not a good memory."

She looked from Violet then back to Louis and saw how both their expressions now looked a bit down. She tried to lighten the mood. "They sound like they were good friends."

Violet nodded slowly. "I..uh...Yeah. We were all good friends. And Minnie...uh...we were close. Me and her."

The room grew silent after that. Clem wanted to know more about this Minerva person and about the rest of there previous group, but the subject seemed to be a sensitive one. Especially towards Violet. So she decided to drop it and instead tried to think of something else they could all do to devour the sour mood.

Just then a small box that laid under the coffee table caught the eye of Louis. "Hey check it out!" He reached down and picked the small box up. He opened it up and slid out a handful of cards onto the table. A new light present in his eyes as an idea hit him. "You guys ever play war?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I kind of steered away from the whole violentine romance and focused more on Louis this chapter. But don't worry were getting there. :)
> 
> Secret Life of Writing Out!


	7. Cards of The Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long wait. I've been busy with my other story "She Ain't Gonna Marry Me". Now let's get back to Shaded In! :)

Clem smiled at Louis's suggestion. "Yeah we play sometimes. We actually have tons of board games and stuff in the hall closet if you guys are up for it." She pointed behind her to the closet down the hall as she explained.

Louis smiled, "Great. We only had the one deck of cards back at the school, so we mostly played card games for fun." He shuffled the cards as he spoke.

Violet unfolded her arms and leaned closer to the table to make it easier to play. "So we playing war?" She asked the boy across from her.

Louis nodded and started to pass out the cards. "The only game there is. And the winner gets to ask Clem a question."

Clem shot him a look at that.

"What? I wanna get to know you, we both do." Louis told her as if it was as simple as that.

Clem rolled her eyes. "Okay...and what if I win?"

"Then you get to ask us one." He explained. "It's only fair."

Clem nodded then turned her attention to the younger boy. "You wanna play too AJ?"

AJ seemed hesitant to answer at first but then decided on a response. "Can I...just be on your team?"

Clem smiled at that. "Sure." She patted the spot next to her for AJ to come and sit next to her. "How about you flip the card and I'll handle the questions?"

AJ nodded excitedly as he made his way over to the girl with the baseball cap. He sat down next to her, creating a buffer between her and Violet, which Clem was kind of glad for. It was easier to focus when she didn't have to worry about accidentally touching the blond next to her.

Once everyone was situated they all flipped over a card, AJ flipping the card over for Clem. Said girl looked at everyone's cards seeing as how Violet had the highest with a queen of hearts.

Violet smiled, "Way ta go me!" Then her smile faded as she thought about her question. "So, how did you guys meet? You and Luke don't really look related and AJ...well...he doesn't look much older than five."

Clem's smile slightly faded as she remembered the events that had occurred with the cabin group. She cleared her throat. "Well...I met Luke when I was eleven. I had just been attacked by a dog when he and another man named Pete found me. They took me back to their group and we stayed together after that."

"And AJ?" Louis asked for Violet wanting to know just as much as her, his curiosity spiked.

Clem looked to the five year old next to her before continuing. "AJ's parents were actually part of Luke's group. I got to know them a bit. They were nice people...for the most part." She paused at that last part remembering how Rebecca had been a bit hostile towards her in the beginning. " His dad was killed by some asshole who had held us all captive at one point."

Violet flinched at that, remembering how some of the kids at the school had been taken and held captive, namely Minnie. "And his mom?"

Clem's expression saddened. "She didn't make it." She said. "After giving birth...she just...lost to much blood. Then we were attacked by a group of Russians." She stared Violet in the eyes, a serious expression now on her face. "I saved AJ's life."

"Damn." Said Louis, already not believing what this girl had been through.

Clem hadn't even scratched the surface of her past memories. What she had already confessed was light compared to some other tragedies she had faced. For the second part of her life, everything seemed to be either black or white. Nothing ever seemed to be just okay anymore. Her life went from one extreme to the other. Things either went really good or really bad, the later usually being the case. Decisions could happen in an instant, sealing your fate, and sometimes it comes down to that split second decision that you have to live with for the rest of your life. Clem had made plenty of those. Deciding to go with Nick instead of Pete, rescuing Sarah from the trailer park, shooting Rebecca, saving Luke form the lake, going with Javie to save Gabe and David. She had seen so much war and bloodshed, and most times it always seemed to be her fault one way or another. She couldn't help but blame herself for all the deaths she had seen. Kenny, Pete, Rebecca, Sarita, Sarah, Carlos, Alvin, Walter, Jane, Omid, Christa, and most importantly...Lee.

She blamed herself for Lee's death more than any other, it being the cause of many of her nightmares. Not to mention she had almost lost AJ once as well.

Clem hadn't noticed that she had spaced out from their game and her breathing had picked up it's pace. A frightened look on her face, like she might break out into a panic attack at any moment. Her hands slightly shook from their place on her lap. They had only gone through one question and she was already starting to lose it.

A small voice pulled her from her thoughts. "Clem are you okay?" It was AJ. She looked down at him, a glint of worry in his eyes. AJ had seen her loose it before. Clem had once had a huge panic attack that Luke had to bring her down from. She acted tough most of the time, but everyone had their limits.

Clem's eyes shifted from AJ to both Louis and Violet who were also looking at her. Violet's voice reached her ears next. "Sorry for asking something so personal. We can stop if you want." Violet felt kind of bad for causing Clem to react the way she did. She had only meant to ask a some what simple question, but it must of been a touchier topic than she thought. Then she remembered last night on the porch, Clem had told her how she didn't like talking about the past, that there were things she didn't like to remember. It made Violet start to feel even more guilty. They had wanted to know more about Clem's past, but if it was too uncomfortable to talk about she wouldn't push it.

Clem seemed to register what she had said, her eyes softening instead of the panicked look she had before. She didn't want the game to end because she couldn't handle one simple remark. Clem shook her head to bring herself back fully. "Sorry, I didn't mean to...ya know...freak out or anything." She rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. "Sometimes it just happens." They weren't as frequent as her nightmares, but after Kenny's death it wasn't uncommon for her to have a panic attack every few months if something was too much for her to bear.

Louis waved her off. "No problem. We had a girl back at the school, her name was Brody, she used to get panic attacks at times too."

Clem nodded in response, "We can keep going. Just maybe more...lighthearted questions. If-if that's alright with you?"

Violet turned to look at her, "Sure thing." Sending a smile afterwards.

It caused Clem to smile as well. Then she realized she was staring for longer than she should be. She quickly looked back down at her stack of cards a slight blush appearing across her cheeks. Clem cleared her throat, "Okay let's get back to it." She let AJ flip her card over again and looked around at everyone else's, seeing that she had the highest with a jack of spades. "Hey, I win!"

"Hey, you do. So what do you wanna know?" Asked Louis.

Clem took a moment to think it over before replying. "Grossest thing you've ever eaten?"

"Horse eyeballs, slugs, you name it." Came the blonds response.

"Cantaloupe." Louis blankly stated.

"Seriously!" Violet countered.

"Dude, I fucking hate cantaloupe." Was Louis's excuse.

Their small argument got AJ to giggle and Clem to roll her eyes before replying. "I ate a guys legs once." The room went silent. Once Clem realized she hadn't gotten the response she had wanted she tried to take it back. "I'm joking."

Louis gave her an unconvinced look. "Are you though?"

Clem gave an unconvincing shrug. "I mean I almost did by accident, but never really did." Realizing she had brought the mood down again, she tried to fix it once more. "It wasn't a good experience...just...forget I said anything."

Violet and Louis both gave her uncertain glances before flipping their next cards. Louis had won this time with a nine of spades, a cheesy grin across his face. "I am the greatest card player of all time."

"Just ask your damn question!" Violet commanded having no patience for Louis's smart ass comments.

Louis's demeanor seemed to grow shy and quiet. He seemed hesitant to ask. "So a...ever...ever have a boyfriend?"

Clem wasn't ready for that. Her expression changed from surprised to slight embarrassment, as thoughts about Violet entered her mind. She hoped she wasn't blushing to hard as she felt heat rise on the back of her neck.

"Oh my god!" Violet slammed her fist on the coffee table, while the other came up to touch her head. Violet had thought that the question from Louis had been kind of unorthodox, but she had to admit, she was kind of interested to see where Clem stood on that kind of thing.

"What? It happens." Louis tried to justify his actions. "Perfectly valid question."

Clem tried her best to cover her embarrassment, hopefully they hadn't noticed. Last thing she wanted was for Violet to find out she had a crush on her after they had only just met. She swallowed her nerves the best she could, "Never." She flatly replied, trying to keep up the act.

"Not even once?" Louis asked again hopefully.

Clem shook her head. "Never." She replied more sternly, taking the moment to flip her own card over herself this time.

Sure she had, had friends who where guys before and she had cared for them, but she had never felt anything towards them. At least not what she felt towards Violet. Duck had been a good friend, but he was kind of weird and well...she didn't really want to use the word stupid...he just kind of got distracted easily and had an overactive imagination. Then there was Gabe. He had been nice, especially towards Clementine, but she had never really liked him liked him. She saw him as a friend and definitely liked his company, but even though he tried to be supportive, his help wasn't always very helpful. Gabe tended to let his anger get out of hand and would always screw certain things up, by wanting to do his own thing. The cut in Javie's arm had been proof of that.

Louis now sporting a disappointing look nodded to Clem's statement. They all flipped, AJ back to handling Clem's cards. He flipped it over and a grin came across his face. "We won again!" He said holding the card up for Clem to see.

"Ya sure did little man!" Supported Louis giving AJ a thumbs up. "So what'll it be?"

It didn't take Clem long to decide on her choice of action, although she was kind of nervous about asking. "So uh...what about you guys?"

The statement left Violet feeling confused. She raised a brow, "What about us?" It came off a little aggressive, but not by much.

"Uh...any...anyone you guys have ever dated?" A light blush formed on her face. Clem felt kind of bad for asking, like she would be judged for doing so. Even though Louis had asked her the same thing mere minutes ago.

Her nerves relaxed when Louis kept his signature smile. "I've personally never had a girlfriend before." He gestured to himself.

Violet chuckled and folded her arms. "Oh I'm sure she's real surprised about that one."

Louis smirked. "Think that's so funny do ya? Then lets talk about you and Minnie."

Violet glared at Louis, a blush forming across her face, turning her attention to Clementine. She knew she had to answer Clem's question, but did he have to bring it up like that. "Me and Minerva were together for a while back at the school, but that was over a year ago." Violet's voice had become a bit sadder in tone as she shared her relationship status with the group.

"Oh." Clem stated a bit surprised. She rubbed the back of her neck. "I know you said that you guys were close, but...I didn't think you meant like that."

Louis chuckled. "Violet's gay if you haven't noticed the button yet. But it's okay Vi, were all excepting here. We all still love you." He teased his friend.

Violet rolled her eyes and sent him the finger, while Clem blushed at the comment, Louis not knowing how true his words were. Her face seemed to redden more and more as the conversation went on, though she had found out what she had wanted to hear.

Violet was gay, she was into other girls, meaning there was a possibility she might like Clem back. She actually had a chance. Violet had been Minerva's girlfriend, but she had also said that was over a year ago. So yeah, it could be possible that Violet could like her back.

Wait, hadn't Violet already told her this last night. Guess she had forgotten that after everything that had happened. But it hadn't mattered then. Now that she new about her feelings for the girl, it felt good to be reassured that Violet could possibly feel the same way. It made her feel better as the game progressed, a smile that she couldn't seem to shake stayed with her as thoughts about Violet filtered through her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So were starting to shift back into Clem and Violet's relationship. Don't worry guys. Next chapter has a lot more Violentine. :)
> 
> Secret Life of Writing Out! :)


	8. Paralyzed

The card game had continued on through the evening, getting laughs out of the teens at the light hearted questions they had asked each other. Even Luke had joined in after he had finished his work.

After dinner the group had started a game of Uno, laughs and teasing threats about who would win sounded throughout the living room. They played till it was time to go to bed. Clem and AJ in their room, Luke in his, and Violet and Louis in the living room again. Luke saying how they'ed fix up the guest bedroom for them tomorrow.

It was roughly around two in the morning. The house was now quiet and dark, as the fire had died out hours ago. The only noise was the light breaths and snores that came from the occupants of the cabin.

Clem stirred in her sleep, mumbling something incoherent. Her slight movement turned into tossing and turning, her mumbling turned into short words getting louder and louder, until...

Clem shot upright in bed, and let out a terrified scream. Her heart rate was out of control and her breathing was uneven. Tears streamed down her face, as sob after sob racked through her body. The noise caused the little boy in the bed across from her to wake. AJ sat up in bed still drowsy from being awakened. Then the sound of crying reached his ears. His eyes adjusted and he took notice of the older girl crying on her bed. "Clem? Are-are you okay?" Worry etched across his face he slipped out of bed and approached the girl. He went to touch Clem's arm but before he could Clem's eyes widened in fear and she moved away from him. "No, no, stop! Please stop!"

He could see her form shaking in fear. She was having another one of her panic attacks again. "Don't worry! I'll-I'll go get Luke!" AJ ran out of their room and down the hall into Luke's room.

Violet and Louis slept soundly on the couches in the living room. Just then Violet was awakened by a scream. She bolted upright and waited for her eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room. The first thing she did was look to the other couch to check on Louis. But he was still fast asleep in one of his weird positions, snoring softly. Louis had always been a heavy sleeper, so he hadn't been affected by the noise. Then she heard some other noises coming from upstairs. It sounded like crying followed by foot steps, multiple ones.

She waited for a few minutes, but curiosity getting the better of her, she through the blanket off of her and started to make her way upstairs. She figured she better go make sure everything was okay.

Once AJ had told Luke what was going on they both made their way back to the bedroom that AJ had left Clem in. Luke pushed open the door to find the girl curled up on her bed crying to herself, mumbling little words to herself every so often. She had her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped tightly around them. Luke knew that look. She was frozen in place, the world outside her head was lost and distant. She would no longer feel things until she snapped out of it.

Luke slowly approached her, careful not to scar the girl. "Clem?"

She didn't respond. He went to put a hand on her shoulder, but she recoiled back. "No, don't!"

"Clementine, it's me." Luke tried to calm her down. "Clem it's me Luke." Even though it was dark he could still see the panic in her eyes.

She looked up at him as if trying to decide if she really knew who this person was. She stood still, scared to move, except for the shaking of her body that she couldn't control. It took a moment before she could snap out of her trance. She jumped up and threw herself into Luke's arms. He was a bit surprised by her sudden actions but hugged her back anyway.

She had a tight grip on his shirt, not wanting to let go. Clem cried into his shoulder, soaking his shirt. "It's my fault! It's-it's all m-my fault!" She cried.

Luke rubbed her back trying to calm down the distraught girl. "No Clem it's not your fault. It's okay everything's okay."

"Is-is Clem gonna be okay?" AJ asked the older man, concerned for the girl he looked up to as a big sister.

Luke nodded. "She just needs a moment to calm down."

AJ nodded then yawned.

Luke took notice then looked out the window, noticing how dark it was outside. He could tell it was very early in the morning. "Why don't you go back to sleep. I'll keep an eye on Clem." He picked the girl up in his arms with ease even though she wasn't as little anymore and carried her into the hallway.

AJ yawned again before agreeing. "Okay." He closed the door behind Luke before going back to bed.

Out in the hall, Clem's sobs had lessened and her grip on Luke's shirt had loosened. Luke took the chance to set the girl down. He then joined her by seating himself on the ground next to her, back up against the wall. Clem was hugging her knees again, a distant look in her eyes. She had gone back into her distant mode. It was like she was paralyzed and couldn't move from her spot. It was like she was trapped in a box, but she was the one who had locked her in.

Luke sighed. He knew when she got like this all he could do was wait until she snapped out of it. This wasn't the first time this had happened, but it had been a while since she had a scare this big. He wondered what could of triggered it.

The creek of the floor boards caught his attention. He looked over towards the stairs and saw the figure of Violet appear. She stopped once she noticed Luke. "Luke?"

"Hey Violet. Sorry if we woke you." He apologized.

"Is everything okay? I-uh...I heard someone scream." Violet told him. A frown formed on her face once her eyes drifted over towards Clementine's figure. The girl hadn't even moved to recognize Violet's presence.

Luke followed her gaze. "Yeah, one of Clem's nightmares caused her to have a panic attack."

Violet's look changed to one of concern. "Is-is she going to be alright?"

Luke nodded. "It's okay. Sometimes it just happens, usually something will trigger it every now and then. Just have to ride it out though."

Violet gave a slow nod. She rubbed her left arm feeling kind of awkward at being here. A question from Luke brought her attention back. "You mind staying with her for a minute?"

The question caught Violet off guard. "W-what?"

"Can you stay here with Clem for a minute? I'm going to get her something to drink and grab a candle and some matches from downstairs." Luke asked the blond again.

Violet wasn't sure how to respond. She wasn't exactly good with these types of things, but she also felt bad for Clem. "What-what do I do?"

Luke smiled. "Just sit with her and if she comes to just talk with her. It'll make her feel better." He explained.

Violet nodded. "Okay."

Luke went to stand up from his spot on the floor, but his sudden movement alarmed the girl next to him. Clem shot up from the floor and grabbed hold of Luke's arm. "No! D-don't leave me!" Tears started falling down her face again.

"Hey, hey, easy Clem, easy." Luke tried to sooth her. "It's okay. I'll be right back"

"No please don't leave me! I-I don't w-want to be alone!" Clementine's breathing started to falter again.

"Clem it's okay. Violet will stay with you while I'm gone." Clem's eyes darted from the blond who stood behind Luke to back at him, as if implying that he was leaving her with a complete stranger. Luke took the moment to release Clem's grip from his shirt. "It's okay. I'll be back."

Before she could latch on to him again, Luke turned on his heels and made his way down the stairs. Without him next to her Clem's breathing started to accelerate, her eyes full of fear. She felt like she was suffocating, running out of oxygen.

Violet bit her lip. She remembered Brody having panic attacks, but nothing this extreme. She wasn't quiet sure how to handle the situation. She supposed she could start by offering some comforting words. "Clem it's alri...ugh"

Before she could finish her sentence Clem had tightly wrapped her arms around her. It took Violet by surprise, she wasn't used to this kind of physical contact. A slight blush formed across her face. At first she wasn't sure on what to do, but eventually brought her arms down to hug the girl back. Violet could feel Clem's whole body tremble against her small frame.

Clem let out a few whimpers as she held onto the shorter girl. She didn't understand it, but she had never felt so afraid of being alone in such a long time. She gripped onto Violet tighter, worried that if she let go the girl would disappear from her arms.

True Violet did feel kind of awkward being stuck in this position, but she'd be lying if she said it didn't feel kind of nice. "Hey, It's- it's okay." She told Clem. "Everything will be fine."

Clem let out another whimper. "No It's my fault there gone! It's always my fault!" She squeezed her eyes tighter, a few tears falling down onto violet's back.

What did she mean it was her fault? Violet didn't understand who or what Clem was talking about, but it didn't matter. She wasn't about to let Clem blame herself for things out of her control. She pulled back a bit and placed her hands on Clementine's shoulders. "Clem it's okay. It's not your fault okay. It's not your fault. Your okay. Your gonna be okay."

For some reason Violet's words seemed to have a calming effect on Clem and calm the girl down a bit. Violet could see the fear in Clem's eyes diminish slightly and her tears stopped. Her breathing was still a bit ragged, but was starting to settle down. Violet went to go release her hold on Clem's shoulders, but the brunette panicked and her hands latched onto Violet's arm.

Violet put her hands up. "Whoa!...Hey, hey, It's okay. Here..." Violet moved over towards the spot Clem and Luke had been sitting before and sat down, bringing Clem with her. She was a bit hesitant to at fist but she grabbed onto Clementine's hand and gave it a light squeeze to reassure the girl in the baseball cap. She felt Clem squeeze back and could feel her body relax slightly. What ever she was doing was working.

The girls sat in silence for a few minutes, Clem's breathing slowly going back to normal as she held onto Violet's hand. Then they heard the creaking of the stairs as Luke reappeared. Clem was about to go back into panic mode again, but relaxed once she realized it was Luke.

Luke had a water bottle in his left hand and a light candle in the other, giving the hallway some much needed light, so they could finally see better. He looked at the two girls and how calm Clem had gotten in the little time he had been gone. "Well that didn't take long." Usually he'd be up for at least an hour trying to calm the girl down.

"Here Clem, want some water?" He unscrewed the lid and handed the bottle over to the girl. Clem gladly accepted it and took a large gulp of water. She handed it back to him and Luke screwed the top back on and put the bottle next to her. Then he turned to Violet. "You can go back to bed now Violet. I can stay with her now, if you want."

He wasn't sure, but he could of swore he saw her frown at that. But she brushed him off. "I'ts okay. I-I'll stay with her. I-I don't mind." She felt her face heat up.

"Ya sure?" He asked.

Violet nodded. She hoped she wasn't blushing too much.

Luke smiled. "Okay then." He put the candle on the floor in front of them to give them some light, pretending not to notice the two of them holding hands. "Night girls." He said and went back into his room leaving them alone in the hallway once more.

Violet had nodded to him in response before he left, while Clem just stayed silent. A minute went by before Violet felt warmth disappear from her hand. She was a bit disappointed at the lack of contact. She looked to the girl next to her. Clem had her knees up against her chest again, her arms wrapped around them and her chin on top of them. She seemed to be staring at the flame of the candle as it flickered every now and then. "I'm sorry." She said.

Violet furrowed her brow. "What do you mean?"

Clem sat back up. "For all of...this!" She threw her hands up to gesture at everything that had just happened. "You shouldn't have to deal with all of this...to deal with me."

Violet's eyes widened. "Whoa Clem, none of this is your fault. It's normal for these things to happen." She tried to reassure the girl.

Clem sighed. "I never used to be like this. Now it's like I'm under water but I feel like I'm on top of it. I'm at the bottom and I don't know what the problem is."

Clem rested her head on top of her knees again. She felt tears stinging her eyes as she gazed at the candle. "When ever I have a panic attack I feel like I'm not in control. It takes over me. I feel lost and it kills me inside. Where is the real me?"

Violet listened intently to what Clem was saying. She wondered if this is what would of happened during the card game if they hadn't brought her down from it. She watched as the light from the candle flickered across the other girl's face. "It's still not your fault. I don't blame you for what happened if that's what you think."

Clem turned her head so she could look at Violet then turned back to the flame. "It was my fault...I just...Sometimes people die because of me."

Violet gave Clem a sympathetic look, but didn't say anything.

When Violet didn't respond Clem sighed and continued on. She felt safe enough to finally tell Violet the truth. "Lee. His name was Lee..." And she told Violet about everything. About how she had to shoot Lee, about Kenny, about what happened with AJ, about it all. Clem even showed her the scar on her arm from when Sam had bit her.

Violet listened to everything Clem had to tell her. She couldn't believe half the stuff Clem had told her, but knew that everything was true. She thought they had it rough back at the school, but it barley scratched the surface compared to what Clementine had been through.

She realized that Clem's scars weren't just on the surface, they ran deep and left marks on her soul and in her heart. They tore at her mind and embedded themselves into her dreams, which was why she had such frequent nightmares. She lived in a black and white world that was mostly clouded in darkness. Her nightmares lead to panic attacks with her being paralyzed with fear.

"It's never easy, but...I don't really know how it's supposed to be." Clem now had one hand draped across her knees and one on the floor between her and Violet. She was trying hard not to cry now, her eyes glazed over. She didn't dare meet Violet's gaze. "I just feel so alone sometimes."

Her eyes widened when she felt warmth against her hand, but she still didn't look at Violet. She didn't say anything either when she felt their fingers intertwine, but a small smile appeared on her face.

"Your not alone right now." Came Violet's soft voice. She offered Clem a small smile.

At Violet's words Clem turned to look at her and sent her a small smile back.

They both looked at their hands that were intertwined and as if on cue both girls blushed, but neither of them let go.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying each other's presence. Until Clem gave a yawn.

"You wanna go back to bed?" Violet asked, she secretly hoped that Clem would say no, but if she was tired she understood.

Clem seemed alarmed at that. "No! No please!" Her cheeks became a light pink in the candle light. "I-I don't want to be alone."

Violet smiled. "Neither do I."

Clem smiled back. She scooted closer towards Violet so their shoulders were almost touching. She let her head fall onto Violet's shoulder as she watched the candle continue to flicker. "Violet?"

"Hmm?" Violet hummed in acknowledgment, starting to feel tired as well.

Clem yawned again before responding. It was barley above a whisper, but Violet caught it before Clem drifted off to sleep. "Thank you."

Violet felt a smile spread across her face as she stared down at the girl next to her. "Anytime." She whispered as she too fell asleep. Both of them never letting go of the other's hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a lot of heavy emotions this chapter, but I think it was worth it. Hope you all liked it.
> 
> Also don't be afraid to let me know what you guys are thinking. Your feedback is always appreciated. It gives me the motivation to write. :)
> 
> Secret Life of Writing Out! :)


	9. What It Really Means

The sunlight filtered in through the window at the end of the hall. It was quiet, the occupants of the house still asleep. That was until the girl in the baseball cap started to stir, the light from outside rousing her from her sleep. Clem opened her eyes and was a bit confused at first upon seeing the interior of the hallway instead of the inside of her bedroom.

Then the memories from last night flooded her mind. She quickly looked to her left to find the blond haired girl still asleep next to her. So it hadn't been a dream, everything that had happened last night was real. Her eyes traveled down to the floor where she realized their hands were still intertwined. Clem smiled at the sight, but it quickly turned into shock. There was no fucking way this was happening right now.

That really had been real. "Holy shit..." Clem accidentally blurted out. She quickly covered her mouth with her free hand.

It wasn't very loud but it had caused the girl next to her to stir. Violet opened her eyes. It took a minute for her to adjust to the lighting before she came to her senses. Then she took notice of the girl next to her.

Clem was inwardly freaking out, she didn't want to risk embarrassing herself anymore than she probably had last night. Which is why she avoided looking in Violet's direction.

Violet was confused at first by Clem's behavior, until the events from last night came to her. Clem's panic attack, maybe she was still a bit shaken up about it. "Clem, you okay?"

Clem bit her lip, she could do this. She took a deep breath before facing the other girl. "Yeah. I-I'm f-fine." Her voice not all that convincing.

If Violet doubted her she didn't show it. Instead she replied with, "Alright...but, you know... I'm hear for you if you need it." She gave Clem's hand a light squeeze.

The reassurance seemed to calm the brunette down again, a small smile coming to her face.

Just then the door next to them opened and AJ walked out giving a yawn as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Then he took notice of the two girls seated in the hallway. "Clem, Violet? What are you doing out here?"

"N-Nothing." Clem quickly replied, taking the moment for the two of them to release each other's hand. Hopefully AJ hadn't noticed.

AJ didn't seem to suspect anything and his expression changed to one of concern. "Clem are...are you okay now?" He asked.

Clem's worries quickly diminished and were replaced with calmness. "Don't worry AJ, everything's fine."

AJ smiled at Clem's reassurance. "Good. I don't like it when you feel scared. I like helping you feel better."

Clem chuckled. "Trust me AJ, I hate it too."

Violet smiled at there words. It was nice to see two people care for each other the way Clem and AJ did. It was something rare to find now of days. A different voice pulled her attention away.

"Hey, an invite to the meeting in the hallway would of been nice." Louis stood at the top of the stairs with his hands on his hips in fake displeasure on being left out.

Violet rolled her eyes. "There's a reason you weren't invited."

Louis smiled as he sat down opposite from them. "Well then I guess I'm crashing the party." He took notice of the two girls and how close they were seated and the candle on the floor that had burned out a while ago. "Did you guys sleep here all night?"

Clem felt her heart rate accelerate at the question. She didn't want to explain everything that had happened hours prior. At least Louis hadn't caught them holding hands. He would of been much more vigilant than AJ had.

Violet could feel Clem tense up next to her. She knew Clem didn't want to talk about it. Her defensive instincts kicked in, wanting to protect Clem from having to relive what had happened. "Yeah! You got a problem with that Louis?" Violet folded her arms.

Louis raised his hands in defense. "Whoa! Chill Vi! Just wondering if that was what happened?"

Violet shook her head in disapproval. "Just drop it. It doesn't matter."

She felt Clem relax again once the subject was dropped. Then another door opened and Luke walked out.

He seemed surprised to see everyone hanging out in the hallway. "Whoa, didn't expect all of you to be right outside the door."

"We were just talking." Clem replied.

Luke shrugged. "Alright. So how about we head downstairs and get some breakfast. Then we can start on clearing out that bedroom. Sound good?"

Louis stood back up. "Sounds great."

AJ beamed. "Yeah! Let's go!"

He ran downstairs, Louis right behind him.

The girls stood up, but Luke stopped the brunette before she could leave. "Hey Clem, can I talk with you for a sec?"

Clem nodded. "Yeah. Sure." She watched as Violet sent her a small smile to reassure her before heading downstairs to meet Louis and AJ.

Luke waited till they were out of earshot. "Hey, you doing okay?"

Clem nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Luke's expression of concern didn't change despite Clem's reply. He put his hand on her shoulder. "You sure? You had a pretty big scare last night."

"Yeah...Yes, I-I'm fine Luke. Honest." She told him, slightly embarrassed about what had happened even though it was out of her control.

He let go. "Okay. I just worry about ya kid. You know that."

Clem smiled. "Yeah I know. Thanks Luke." She hugged him which he accepted.

"So I take it Violet did a good job then." He half joked. Then he took notice of the candle and remembered how they were still seated in the hallway when he woke up. "Did you guys sleep out here all night."

Clem felt heat rise on the back of her neck as she blushed. "Y-yeah. We-we fell asleep..." Her tone turned to a saddened one. "I-I told her...about Lee and about...everything."

Luke offered her a smile. "I'm proud of you Clem. I know how hard that was for you." Then his smile turned into a smirk. "So did you also tell her about your crush on her?"

Clem blushed hard. "Luke!" She whined.

He chuckled. "I'll take that as a no then." He said as he made his way towards the stairs.

Clem rolled her eyes at Luke's antics. Sure they had a moment last night, but Violet had only held her hand to comfort her. It didn't mean anything...right?

After a quick breakfast of whatever they had in the cabinets the group set to work in clearing out the other bedroom for Violet and Louis. A bunch of packaged boxes filled with clothes and other random items littered the room and crowded the beds that were in there. Most of it was just junk, but there were some valuable items among the rubbish. Clem and Louis had found a couple new shirts for AJ and Luke had come across a nice winter coat that fit himself. They even found a new board game called Clue. All the other stuff that didn't fit or no longer had a purpose was cleared out. Then after hours of work the room was finally freed of clutter. The beds finally cleared and able to be slept on.

Luke stood in the doorway and looked around at the cleared space. "Not bad for a days work." Then he turned to the kids next to him who were going through the things in the closet. "Why don't you guys finish up in here and I'll get started on finding us something to eat?"

"Yeah, Sure." Clem agreed without turning around to look at him, to busy with what she was removing from the room's closet.

Luke nodded his approval and turned to head down to the kitchen, but he came back a few minutes later. "Hey Clem, I just realized that our canteens are low on water. You mind heading down to the river and filling them up?" It's true that they had just brought back some water bottles on there last supply run, but Luke liked to save those for when they traveled. It was better to make do with fresh water that they could collect while they had it, plus it was better for cooking.

Louis spoke up before Clementine could reply. "Me and Violet can do it."

Violet gave him a look wondering why he would volunteer them for more work when he barley helped out back at the school.

Luke was surprised by the offer. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely!" Came his cheery reply. "Clem's already busy anyway."

Luke shrugged. "Alrighty then. You know where the rivers at?" He pointed back behind him. "About half a mile that way. You can't miss it."

Violet nodded. "Same one that passes by the school. We got it."

"Thank you." Luke said as he passed over the canteens to Violet and Louis.

The walk to the river was mostly a quiet one, which Violet was thankful for. God knows Louis could go on for hours about the stupidest shit. But she was still surprised he had taken on this job in the first place.

Suddenly the river came into view. "There it is. Let's go." Violet said.

They reached the river bank's edge and Violet knelt down closer to the moving water. She reached down and felt the cool water run against her fingertips, creating a ripple in the current. It reminded her of all the times she would go out and fish with Brody. Sure she had kind of despised the girl after what had happened with the twins, but it hadn't been completely bad.

Violet pushed the thoughts away remembering that they had a job to do. She unscrewed the lid to the canteen. "Alright, lets get this over with so we can head back." She looked up at Louis to find him staring at her. "What?"

Louis smirked. "So what's with you and Clem?"

Oh, so that's what this was about. Violet rolled her eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"I mean about this morning and pretty much every moment since we've been here." Louis pointed out as he watched Violet fill the canteen with water.

Violet huffed. "So what? Am I not allowed to make any friends?"

Louis folded his arms a smirk plastered across his face. "You've got a crush on Clem?"

Violet nearly dropped the canteen in the water, but managed to recover. "I...do not!"

Louis raised a brow. "Do I look like an idiot to you?"

Violet opened her mouth for a come back, but Louis cut her off. "Don't answer that."

Violet rolled her eyes again and screwed the lid back on the container.

Louis smiled. "Aww Vi, I think it's cute that you have a crush on her."

"Dammit Louis! I don't have a crush on Clementine." She crossed her arms in protest.

Louis chuckled. "Yeah cause I always intertwine my fingers with my friends."

Violet froze at his words, her face turning a bright shade of red. "Y-you saw that? Since when?"

"I woke up earlier this morning and noticed you were missing. Found you guys asleep in the hallway." He explained. "Gotta say you guys look pretty cute together."

Violet turned away from him. "Whatever. I was only helping her get over a panic attack. Nothing more." Although, she would never admit to Louis that she had hated letting go of Clem's hand when AJ had shown up. Clem probably didn't even feel the same way. Sure she didn't object to Violet's touch, but she hadn't been in the right mindset last night. Violet wasn't even sure if she would of remembered what happened.

This news stopped Louis, he had only seen the two together, but not what had caused it. "She really had a panic attack? Was it from the card game?"

Violet nodded. "It's not really my place to say, but yeah. I think the beginning of the card game caused her to have a nightmare which led to a panic attack."

They stood in silence for a minute before Violet spoke up. "Just... don't bring it up, okay. Clem said she was fine, but I think something's still bothering her." She turned and started to walk away. "Now hurry up. We need to get back."

Louis dipped his canteen into the stream and waited for it to fill.

Violet had walked a few feet away and stopped at his words but didn't turn around. "For what it's worth I think she likes you back."

Violet closed her eyes and took a second and thought over his words, but she shook her head. "Whatever." And continued walking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wasn't sure how to continue which is why it took longer for this chapter to come out. I know how I want the story to go, but this chapter was hard to create from where we left off from. To be honest over half of this chapter wasn't originally going to be part of this story, but I needed a way to transition from where we left off to where I want us to be. So this became chapter nine.
> 
> I'm excited for chapter ten though. Where going to get more Violentine! Yay! :)
> 
> Anyway hope you liked the chapter, though it was a bit rushed.
> 
> Secret Life of Writing Out! :)


	10. A Little Unsteady

The trip back to the house had been an uneventful one, Louis surprisingly staying quiet again. That is until the cabin had come into view. "I've got it! Violentine!"

Violet gave him a weird look. "Do I even want to know?" Last thing she wanted to do was fuel another one of Louis's creative ideas.

Louis gave her an ear to ear smile. "It's yours and Clem's shipping name."

Violet let out a frustrated groan. "Louis so help me I will feed you to the walkers."

Louis gave her another smile as he shifted chairels to his other shoulder. "Come on Vi your going to need all the help you can get. I will get you two together if it's the last thing I do."

Violet rolled her eyes for what felt like the hundredth time that day. Clem probably didn't even like her that way. "Not a word, to anyone!" She threatened him as they approached the porch of the cabin. She walked through the door leaving Louis alone.

Louis smirked, "Will see." He said to himself.

Luke was great full for the two of them volunteering to go get the water, it made preparing dinner a lot easier. Afterwards they all settled on playing another card game before bed. This one with less eccentric questioning.

But before they departed into different bedrooms, Violet stopped Clem outside her door. "Hey, you gonna be okay?" She asked generally concerned for the girl after what happened last night.

"Yeah, I-I'll be fine." Clem said, although she wondered how much truth her words actually held. It was common for her to get little to no sleep after a big upsetting.

Violet didn't normally open her doors to just anyone, she wasn't the kind of person to get dragged into such emotional events. But she felt it was different with Clementine, and actually felt a need to help. "Well anyway, if-if you ever need to, talk or whatever, you can always come and get me. I-I don't mind." Violet felt her face flush at the words, luckily it was just dark enough to cover it.

Clem gave her a slight smile at her words. "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind. Night, Vi."

"Night, Clem." Violet said before she closed the door. Then walked across the hall to her and Louis's new room.

Clem thought she was getting better with coming to terms with her past, but some things still left her feeling a little uneasy and shaken. Last night had been rough to say the least. It had been so long since she had a panic attack, and even longer since she had last opened up to someone. Talking with Violet had released some anxiety from within her, but it hurt to remember those things. Every time she had to reexplain how she managed to survive this long, it brought a dull pain that would surround her heart, like a wound that had reopened. It never got any easier, but someone always had to know how the girl in the baseball cap had made it this far, knowing she couldn't have done it alone. And every time it was like reliving each traumatic experience as the words slipped from her mouth, unable to escape there hold on her. Once again leaving her in a world of darkness.

Clem found herself thinking about it as she lay in bed. And thinking was never a great idea when it came to terms with her past. So many countless lives lost because of her. She tried to tell herself that it wasn't her fault, that everyone who she had lost had died knowing the risks, and had died for a reason...but it didn't stop it from hurting.

She guessed she had fallen asleep, because next thing she knew she shot up from where she lay. She couldn't help it as tears started to roll down her face, branching off and dropping down onto her shirt. An all to familiar source, being the cause of the salty droplets that stained her face. Lee.

She had to yet again, relive the worst day of her life, replaying in her mind as she slept, unable to get away from the dark reaches of her subconscious. She was right about thinking, not being a great idea. It only made things worse. And she proved she was right, as quiet sobs escaped from her form. Her hands shook as she gripped the sheets. She drew in a shaky breath, trying to calm herself down. She hadn't realized how fast her heart had been beating in her chest.

She wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket to try and diminish the tears that fell. After a few more deep breathes, she had calmed down some, but she still felt very uneasy staying where she was. She didn't want to stay in this room after such an unpleasant dream.

Clem threw off the sheets and swung her feet over the edge of the bed. She went to move towards the door, but her body shook with each step, making it feel more like she was walking on ice. Clem was careful enough to not wake AJ up as she closed the door behind her. She leaned her back up against the door and closed her eyes for a moment, taking a minute to settle down. She didn't want to stay in the bedroom, she didn't want to go back to sleep period, but she also didn't want to be alone.

She opened her eyes and they came to rest on the doorway across from her. "You can always come and get me." echoed inside her mind. She desperately wanted Violet to comfort her again. She wanted her to stay up with her again, to hold onto her hand again, to just have her presence there again. She bit her lip in hesitation. She couldn't do it, no matter how badly she wanted to. She was too afraid. She had already told Violet she would be fine, she couldn't go back on it now. But she really didn't want to be alone right now.

She could go get Luke. But it wasn't his comfort that she wanted, she wanted Violet's, and only hers. She couldn't explain it, but it had felt different with Violet, and she wanted that feeling again.

Her mind fought with her and it turned into pacing. She walked back and forth, up and down the hallway in debate. She didn't know how long she had been doing it, but knew it had been a while. Soon enough her thoughts drifted back to those negative ones. She wished Lee was here to comfort her, to tell her everything was going to be okay. She stopped at the door again, leaning against it once more trying to calm herself back down again.

The door across from her opened while her eyes were closed. She opened them to find the girl she had been longing for standing in front of her, arms crossed over her chest. "You okay?"

Clem didn't respond. Instead she felt tears start to build up behind her eyes, hands starting to shake again. She tried to fight it, but she couldn't help the tear that slid down her face. She pushed off the door and threw herself at Violet, who this time welcomed the hug.

Clem squeezed her eyes shut, just feeling the presence and warmth of the girl. Violet could feel Clem's whole body shake as the girl held on to her. "Hey, it's alright. It's over now."

Clem pulled back after a moment. She gave a deep breath, slash sigh, as she wiped the tears from her eyes once more. She already felt better just knowing Violet was with her. "Here..." She heard the girl say. She walked over with Violet and saw her slide down the wall into a sitting position on the floor. Clem joining her a second later. "Nightmare?" Was all Violet said.

Clem nodded. "I-I'm s-sorry if I woke you." She said, her voice slightly trembling.

Violet waved her off. "Nah, I was already up. After listening to you pacing for the last ten minutes." Clem blushed at that.

Violet gave a laugh and playfully shoved Clementine. "I told you to wake me up if something happened."

Clem rubbed the back of her neck in embarrassment. "I-I didn't want to bother you. N-not after everything that happened." She looked away from Violet feeling guilty.

Violet's expression turned serious once again. "Clem...It's okay. I don't blame you for what happened. It's okay if you need help." She paused for a moment, thinking about what to say next. "You...wanna talk about it?"

Clem turned back to her. "It-it was about L-Lee...I..." She got choked up about it, knowing if she said another word she would burst into tears again.

"It's okay. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Violet reassured.

Clem smiled. "Thank you."

A minute went by in silence before Violet asked, "You couldn't get back to sleep?"

Clem shook her head. "I don't want to sleep."

Violet thought about it for a minute, debating on something, before standing up. "Come on!"

She grabbed Clem's hand and pulled her up and began to drag her down the stairs. "Where are we going?" Clem asked.

"I want to show you something." Was Violet's explanation. She brought Clem downstairs and to the door. She opened it and the two of them walked outside. "Up here."

Violet pointed to the wood railing at the end of the porch. She climbed up onto the wooden frame and stood up, using the house for support. She gripped the roof of the cabin.

"Doesn't this seem a little dangerous?" Clem asked hearing the old boards creek under the weight.

Violet laughed. "What's more dangerous than walkers?" She said as she jumped and used her arms to pull herself up onto the roof.

"Okay, fair." Clem said following suit. She hopped up onto the railing and grabbed the edge of the roof, pulling herself up much like Violet had done.

She stood up and made her way across the slanted roof and to the other side where Violet stood. She looked out at what Violet was looking at and was taken away by the view. The sky was as clear as could be. The stars bright against the dark blue background that was the sky, like fireflies in the night. The full moon lit up the surrounding area like a lantern. "Beautiful." Was all Clem said as she took in the scenery before her. The fears and terrors of her nightmare diminished in an instant.

Violet smiled, but it soon turned into a slight frown as a thought washed over her. "Clem?"

"Yeah?" The brunette answered, pulling away from the sky to look at Violet.

"Back in the woods...You and Luke could of just left us and avoided all the bullshit with the walkers. Why didn't you?"

The question through Clem off guard but she replied anyway. "I wasn't about to let you guys get eaten. That's not the kind of person I am...and besides...I wouldn't of gotten to meet you."

Violet's expression turned into a smile. "I'm glad."

Clem looked to the sky again. "Do you know any constellations?"

"Nope. You?"

"I learned some in school, but I can't remember them." Clem told the blond.

"Let's make some up." Was Violet's response. "Come here and sit." She sat down just passed the peak of the roof and wrapped her arms around her knees.

Clem followed her and sat next to her feeling the rough shingles against her palms as she leaned back onto her hands. "If I remember right, everyone's born under a sign right? It determines your personality." Came Violet's voice.

"That's astrology, not astronomy." Clem corrected.

Violet furrowed her brow. "Whatever, let's just make up our own. Rules, signs, what it says about you. It's not like anybody remembers the old way."

"Luke probably does." Clem joked with her smirking.

"Well Luke's not here." Violet gave her a light shove causing Clem to laugh. "Okay, let's do it. There! See it? It's a fish." Violet pointed at a small cluster of dots in the sky.

Clem traced the image in her mind. "Right, now it needs a personality."

"Bright, pretty, good with other people. Always moving, tons of energy." Violet described. "Sounds like anyone we know?"

Clem glanced back up to the stars then back at Violet. She smiled. "It sounds like you."

Violet shook her head and chuckled. "Weren't you listening? I said 'good with other people.'"

"Well...maybe not that part, but...you'r pretty good with me." Clem stated. She couldn't express how great full she was for Violet being there for her. Not only yesterday, but tonight as well.

Violet blushed at the praise. "I-uh thanks. I'll try to take the rest as a complement."

She squinted back up at the sky. "I spy with my eye...a knife. See it? Right there, right above your head?" She pointed.

Clem gave her a playful shove. "Yeah, there all above my head." But nether the less she made out the shape with imaginary lines, forming the slightly crooked dagger.

"Awesome. Mm, this one's easy. Smart, clean, vicious, dependable. Someone you want with you in a fight." Described Violet.

Clem didn't even hesitate. "That's mine, definitely."

Violet let lose a small smile. "Yeah, that's a good one for you." She caught herself zoning out, thinking about it. Violet blushed. She shook her head to bring herself back. "Okay, one more time. I found a bird."

Clem looked over. "Like, a real bird?"

"No, a star bird. Right, there." Violet pointed at a cluster of stars towards the right.

Clem made out the make shift lines again to find the image Violet had created. She thought it kind of looked like a dove, flying through the night sky among the stars. Breath taking, among the darkness that surrounded the bright specks that it was made of. She thought about it for a minute, a dove, the bird of love, a light in the darkness, maybe even a sign. She decided it was her favorite out of the three.

"A bird is free." Violet started. "It could go anywhere it wanted to. Up and up and up and never come back. Go south, east, west, doesn't matter." Clem turned to look at Violet, who appeared to get lost in her desire of flight. "You could fly straight into the sunset. And see where it ends."

Clem took a moment to think about it. To be able to fly away from all of this, to not have a care in the world, to leave behind all her worries as she lived freely. To not have to live with her past mistakes. She wished it was her, but saw a hint of longing in Violet's eyes. "You wish it was you, don't you?"

"Sometimes, when it all feels so heavy down here." She shifted her gaze to the stars. "I can't help but wonder what it would feel like to be weightless." When Clem didn't respond Violet spoke up again. "I bet you feel the same way."

Clem was surprised Violet had said that, but she wasn't wrong. She sighed as she looked down at her lap. "Yeah...everyday of my life."

Violet realized she had hit a nerve. She was right about Clem wanting to escape the horrors of her nightmares, but needed to fix her previous statement anyway. "Sorry, I didn't mean to just...talk so much."

Violet glanced over at Clem then shifted so she was facing more towards Clementine, her arm now draped across one knee.. "It's just, I've watched people leave before. Family, friends. They never come back. Even me and Louis left." She sighed. "I hadn't even thought about where we were headed or what we would do next...then the walkers came and...I honestly thought we were done for..."

Clem was listening intently to everything that Violet was saying, but at the same time her mind was racing. Why was she telling her all of this? Then the next words really put things in perspective.

"but then, you showed up." Violet turned her gaze towards Clementine. "And, now I can't imagine what it would be like if I hadn't met you."

Clem felt her heart race, as she stared into Violet's eyes. She felt those butterflies again, only this time it felt like the beat of a hummingbird's wings trying to escape. She wasn't sure how to respond, but knew what she wanted to say, so words flowed out of her mouth anyway. "I-I feel the same, Vi. You've helped me in more ways than I can explain." She paused and took a deep breath as she got ready for what she was going to say next. She had Violet's full attention. "I-I know we've only known each other for a short time, but I feel like we connect differently, and I..."

Clem could swear her heart beat was getting louder, she was a total wreck inside. Her mind raced with thoughts. Half of her begged her to stop while she was ahead, while the other half screamed to keep going. It was now or never. She let out a breath. "...I think...I mean, I hope...We're more than friends."

Clem glanced at Violet, who was wide eyed and attentive to everything she was letting out. "And I...I..."

She sat in thought. Silence overtaking, as neither girl said a word for what felt like forever, but was only a minute. The only noise was the light wind that blew in the background, the only thing that made it feel like they weren't completely frozen in place. Time seemed to slow as Clem debated on her next move. What did she want? She looked to the side, then back up at Violet. She didn't need to think about it, she already knew. Clem leaned over closing the distance between them and placed her lips against Violet's in a kiss.

Clem pulled away and shock overtook her. She sat wide eyed and unbelieving, mouth slightly agape. She couldn't believe she had just done that, she had just kissed Violet! The girl she had been crushing on since she got here. What did she just do?

Violet looked even more surprised, shock also present on her face. She let out a gasp. "Holy shit." She whispered.

Clem let out a laugh from a nervous reaction. "That's romantic." She said in a teasing manner, not really sure if she should be thrilled or not from Violet's reaction.

Violet's surprised expression turned into a small smile. "I mean...Holy shit." Violet couldn't think of anything else to say. No words came to mind. The kiss had been a surprise, but a good surprise. She couldn't believe Clem had just kissed her, granted, she was thankful for it.

She slowly lifted her hand. She was hesitant at first, but settled on placing her hand onto Clem's, in a sign of affection.

The touch caused Clem to smile at Violet. She felt like fireworks had gone off in her heart as she turned back to look out at the stars that glistened in the night sky. She had gone from breaking down after a nightmare, to feeling sick with butterflies, to feeling like she was on top of the world. She couldn't suppress the smile that was on her face, she was just so damn happy in that moment. Violet liked her back, that was all that mattered. And she never wanted to stop feeling this way.

They sat in silence for a while, just enjoying the view. That is until Clem broke the silence as a question came across her mind. "Violet?"

"Hmm?" Violet hummed in response.

Clem turned to face her. "What does this make us now?"

She smiled back at Clementine. "What ever you want us to be."

Clem smiled. "Girlfriends doesn't sound to bad." She joked, getting a slight laugh from the blond. They sat in silence again for another minute or so, before Clem gave a yawn.

Violet looked to Clementine, concern etched onto her face. She knew Clem couldn't of gotten more than two hours of sleep at most. "Clem, you should sleep."

Clem's eyes widened, her body instantly awake. She shook her head. "No, I-I can't. I don't want to have another nightmare."

Clem could feel the lack of sleep catching up to her. She felt so tired, but she didn't want to go back to sleep. She couldn't endure the terrors of another nightmare. She wouldn't allow herself to fall asleep if she could help it. She didn't want to be alone again.

Violet's voice was gentle when she spoke. "Clem it's okay. You wont."

Clem felt unconvinced. "How do you know?" She knew that if she went back into that bedroom alone, there was a ninety five percent chance that another nightmare would occur.

Violet gave her a soft smile. "Because...I'm here."

It took a second for Clem to process what Violet meant. Then it dawned on her. Violet wasn't leaving her. She would stay with her for as long as she needed. "Promise?"

Violet chuckled. "Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere." She reassured.

Clem breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay. But just for a few minutes, alright."

Violet nodded. "Alright."

Clem scooted closer to Violet's side and rested her head onto the blond's shoulder. She was still hesitant to fall asleep, but Violet's presence next to her made her feel calm inside and soon her tiredness took over her body.

Violet looked to the girl next to her and smiled. She couldn't believe everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours. Now the girl she had a crush on had not only kissed her, but was leaning against her shoulder. She didn't mind though. She'd stay with Clementine on this roof until dawn, as long as this didn't have to end. She could live without the sleep and she'd keep watch over Clementine for as long as she needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took awhile to find a right way to end this. I didn't want it to be completely like the night they spent at the bell tower, and I actually had written a totally different ending after they kissed, but decided that I didn't want to take that path because I felt that it ruined the mood. So I went with what you got.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys liked how it turned out.
> 
> Secret Life of Writing Out! :)


	11. Coming Out

Louis chuckled. "Wow Vi, you look terrible. Did you even sleep last night?" He asked as they walked through the wooded area.

Violet rolled her eyes. "Gee, thanks." She mocked him.

But a smile slipped onto her face as she recalled the events from last night. She had stayed up most of the night, keeping a watch over Clementine as the girl slept against her. It had taken a toll on her, as tiredness was etched onto her face this morning, but the lack of sleep was worth it. She would do it all over again, just to spend that time with Clementine again.

Louis however caught the slight expression. "Whoa Vi, is that a smile I see?" He said amusement in his voice.

Violet glared at him. "Fuck off."

Louis stopped walking and shot her a look. He raised a brow. "Alright, spill! You don't ever smile, unless something causes me pain." Louis put his hands on his hips as he stared her down waiting for an answer. "And your tiered as hell. Is there something you wanna tell me?"

Violet tried to act intimidating so Louis would back down, but the slight blush on her face betrayed her. "There's nothing to tell. Nothing happened."

Louis shook his head in pretend disappointment. "Violet, Violet, Violet. Do you really think you can fool me? We've only known each other what, like ten years?" He stared at her for a minute before something clicked. "This is about Clementine, isn't it? You tell her?"

Violet's face reddened drastically. "I'm done having this conversation with you." If she told Louis the truth, he'd never let it go. She did not want to reenact what had happened last night, not only for her sake, but Clementine's too. Why did she keep agreeing to going on these runs with him?

"No fucking way! You did tell her!" Louis gave her a cheesy grin. Violet was a terrible liar, especially when it came to things like this.

Violet folded her arms in defense."I didn't tell her anything!" Which was technically true to a point. Clem had been the one to make the first move and to admit that she had feelings for her, but Violet had been the one to set the mood in a way. She knew it was pointless in denying it by now, but part of her was still trying to defend herself.

Not that Louis believed a word she was saying. "That's cute Vi. You two together now?"

Violet huffed in defeat. She might as well admit it, since Louis wasn't letting up anytime soon. "Alright! Yes! Were together. You happy?" She snapped at him. Though she had to admit it felt kind of good to say that out loud.

Louis gave her another one of his stupid smiles. "Very. Now I have something to tease the two of you with."

"As if you didn't already." Violet mumbled under her breath as they continued there walk back to the cabin.

\----

Meanwhile back at the cabin, Clem was helping Luke with a project. Luke had insisted that they should reinforce the windows with the oncoming winter weather that was approaching. Some of the windows weren't in as good of shape as the others, the glass having been shattered or cracked awhile ago. Boarding the windows up to keep out the elements would of been a simple task, if Clem wouldn't keep losing her focus on holding up the boards.

"Clem? Clem!" Luke shouted a bit louder to get the girls attention for the sixth time.

"Huh...What?" Clem looked up confused.

"You gotta keep the board up." Luke told her, keeping the other side up along with the hammer in his hand.

"Oh, Sorry." She said raising the piece of wood back up to it's previous position before her grip had slipped. Luke shook his head at her antics before positioning a nail and beating down on it with his hammer.

Clem tried to focus on her work, but found herself being pulled back into daydreaming. She couldn't help it as the events from last night crept back into her mind. She had actually kissed Violet. Not only that, but they were together now, as in Violet being her girlfriend. She smiled at the thought. Every time she thought about it her heart fluttered in her chest, and she loved it. To know that Violet actually liked her back made her heart swell and butterflies would arise in her stomach and it caused a smile to creep onto her face whenever she thought about it.

Luke looked over to the girl again once he finished injecting the last nail into the wooden surface. She was in another world again with that same smile on her face that she had before. Luke could tell she was awfully happy about something, but he wasn't sure what had caused the mood switch until now. He figured he should ask her about it, otherwise they weren't going to get much work done at this rate.

He pocketed the hammer and turned toward the girl who hadn't even noticed he was staring at her. "It's not normally this hard to get you to work. You wanna tell me what's got ya in such a good mood?" He folded his arms and leaned up against the house as he waited for an answer, a smirk etched onto his face. Luke knew that look all to well and could pin point what was making Clem get so distracted, but he figured he'd let her tell him herself.

Luke's voice pulled her from her thoughts. Clem blushed at being caught in the act. "Nothing." She simply replied.

Luke chuckled. "Your a hell of a lot happier than normal, so it ain't nothing." Clem blushed harder confirming his suspicion. "You finally tell her how you feel?" He asked casually, no longer dodging the question.

Clem felt embarrassed from having this conversation with Luke, but nodded her head in conformation. "Yeah, I-I did. I...um...she's kinda m-my girlfriend now." She said shyly. Clem knew Luke was already okay with this, but she still felt nervous about admitting her feelings for Violet to him.

Luke chuckled again. "Kinda hard not to notice with they way you've been acting." He teased her.

Clem knitted her eyebrows together in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Luke unfolded his arms and stood back up from his slouched position against the house. "Clem, your about as love sick as Romeo and Juliet." He couldn't believe how oblivious Clem could be to her own feelings sometimes. But it was nice to see her so happy for a change.

Clem's face flushed again and she rubbed her left arm with her right hand as she looked up at him. "It's that obvious huh?"

"Well if the way you keep smiling doesn't give it away, I don't know what will." He smirked at her before laughing again.

She swore her face couldn't get any redder than it already was, but she would prove herself wrong every time Luke opened his mouth. "I feel really stupid now." She said facing away from him, trying to hide her embarrassment from the man in the orange shirt.

"It's okay Clem." He rested his hand on her shoulder to reassure the younger girl. "Violet makes you happy, that's all that matters. You should be allowed to be happy. God knows you deserve it." He sent her a enlightening smile.

Clem gave a slight smile back. Luke's support meant a lot to her. She had known him since she was eleven and there relationship had grown from the start. If there was anyone she truly trusted, besides AJ of course, it was Luke. She liked how she could tell him everything and anything that came to mind, and he would listen no matter what it was about. He had been with her through so much, and treated her and AJ both like family. No they were family, and she wouldn't have it any other way. "Thanks Luke."

Luke brought a hand up and pulled the bill of her cap down over her eyes, something he did quiet often, in a playful demeanor. "No problem kid."

Clem chuckled as she readjusted her tattered baseball cap, regaining her vision. Luke giving her another grin. "Alright, we've only got three more windows left. Why don't we hurry up and finish this. Then we can be done by the time Louis and Violet get back." Luke taking hold of his hammer once more. "That is, if you can remain conscious for the rest of it." He teased.

Clem playfully punched him in the shoulder. "Next time it'll be the hammer." She fake threatened, picking up one of the boards and holding it in place.

"Love you too kid." Luke told her, before striking the nail into the piece of lumber.

\----

"Louis I am not doing that. God, AJ is more mature than you." Violet complained as the cabin came into view past the branches of the pine trees.

"Come on it's a great idea!" Louis tried to persuade her.

"I am not letting you plan a pretend date for me and Clem just so you can monitor our relationship." Violet was already tiered from the lack of sleep, but Louis's pleading was just as draining.

"I bet I could get Clem to agree to it." Louis challenged.

Violet snorted at the thought. "Good luck."

"So if Clem agrees does that mean you'll do it?" He asked, the gears already turning in his head about how he would make this happen.

Violet let out a frustrated groan. "Fine. If she agrees to it, I'll play along. But there's no fucking way your going to convince her."

"Watch me!" He cheered.

Violet rolled her eyes in annoyance, but a smile overtook her as a certain girl in a baseball cap came into view by the side of the house. She and Louis showed up just as Luke finished securing the last remaining board to a window.

Clem's back was turned toward them, so Luke was the first to spot them. He turned his attention to them as he wiped some sweat from his brow, getting Clem to turn around.

"Hey, your back!" Clem exclaimed once Violet and Louis were in speaking range. "You find any?" Clem asked glancing at their backpacks.

Louis threw off his pack and flipped the cover off to reveal it's contents. "Boom, that answer your question."

Clem and Luke stared at the assortment of gnarled bones that laid inside the bag. "We actually made out pretty good, considering." Violet stated as she slipped her own backpack off her shoulder, setting it next to the one that still laid open.

Luke picked up one of the large bones. "And we can really make spears out of these?" He asked, never really considering their potential in making valuable weapons.

"Sure thing." Louis replied excitedly. "We had a guy named Mitch who used to carve the ends into points. Attach them to a long stick, instant spear." He gestured to the bones.

"Used to go spear fishing with Brody all the time." Explained Violet. She crossed her arms over her chest. "Not that bad actually."

"Alright, then. Sounds like a plan." Said Luke, excited at the thought of finding an easier way for them to catch food. "Shouldn't be too hard."

Just then a thought crossed Clem's mind. She hadn't heard from a certain five year old for awhile. "I should probably go check on AJ." She told Luke.

Louis looked between Clem and Violet and an idea popped into his head, a knowing smirk appeared on his face. "I'll help you get started on these Luke." Louis offered, grabbing both backpacks from off the ground. "Vi, how about you go with Clem?" He offered the blonde a smile and winked at her as he walked by, Luke following.

Violet glared at him, while Clem wore a confused expression. She didn't mind spending time with Clem, but she didn't like Louis setting them up and intentionally trying to push them together. At least he didn't bring up the whole pretend date thing. Violet pinched the bridge of her nose in irritation before turning to Clem. "I'm sorry about him."

Clem gave a slight chuckle. "It's fine. What was that all about?"

"He wouldn't stop questioning me while we were out. He knows about the two of us." She cleared her throat. "Sorry." Violet apologized.

Clem brushed her off. "It's cool. Luke knows too. And besides..." Clem weaved her fingers in with Violet's. "I like being open with my girlfriend."

Violet flushed at Clem's words, but she appreciated the touch. "Yeah... me too." She gave Clem a slight smile and the brunette gave one in return.

The girls rounded the corner of the house and made there way to the porch, in search of AJ. Louis and Luke could be seen out in the yard working on shaping the bones with Luke's machete. Louis saw the two of them and waved before giving Violet a thumbs up.

Violet shook her head in disapproval. "Oh my god!"

This earned a giggle from Clem as she opened the front door. Her and Violet walked in only to find the place a mess. "What the hell!" Clem accidentally shouted. The couch cushions and pillows were scattered all over the floor, boxes were turned over, and an assortment of papers were strewn about. It looked like a herd of walkers had torn through the place. AJ stood in the middle of all of it, not having even noticed the two of them as he threw another object out of the way.

Clem let go of Violet's hand and maneuvered her way through the battlefield of distorted objects, careful not to step on anything important, until she came up next to the younger boy. "AJ, what the heck is all of this?" Her voice was firm and slightly warning when she asked, letting him know she was serious.

Clem didn't like to yell at AJ, but he knew better than to do this. Her expression softened however, when AJ turned to her with a worried look, almost like he was about to cry. "I can't find him, Clem!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter that I wasn't intentionally planning on writing, but I don't think it turned out half bad. Louis and Luke are quiet the match making team though. ;)
> 
> Another chapter or two and will be adding another character. Yay!
> 
> Hope you all liked this! Secret Life of Writing Out! :)


	12. Trust Is A Two Way Street

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. I feel like it's been forever since I've updated even though it's only been about a month.

Clem didn't like to yell at AJ, but he knew better than to do this. Her expression softened however, when AJ turned to her with a worried look, almost like he was about to cry. "I can't find him, Clem!"

Clem furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Can't find who?" She asked wondering what the heck AJ was talking about.

"Disco Broccoli. I can't find him anywhere!" AJ said in a panic, clearly frustrated at not being able to find his favorite toy.

So that's what this was about. Clem felt herself relax, finally understanding what was going on. She knelt down to AJ's height so she could look him in the eye. "AJ, breathe" Clem put a hand on his shoulder to calm him. She could feel his body rise and fall with each exaggerated breath that was sucked in to try and calm his frayed nerves. "It's going to be okay. Will find him."

Clem looked up when she heard the movement of someone else through the clutter of the room. "I'll help look for him too." Came Violet's voice as she appeared next to Clem's left side.

Clem nodded in approval. "But first we need to clean all of this up. Okay kiddo." She told AJ.

"But, what about..." AJ was cut off by Clem's words.

"I know bud, but were not going to be able to find anything in this mess." She straightened back up, returning to her full height. "Once we put everything back were it goes it'll make it easier to find him."

AJ didn't seem to like the idea of having to wait for them to tidy up, but Clem's idea did make sense. "O-okay." He said disappointment in his voice.

The next ten to twenty minutes were spent readjusting couch cushions, picking up papers, and packing away items into boxes that had been tipped over. The floor slowly changed from a war zone back to a living room.

While Clem and AJ worked on putting the last of some assortment of old objects into a box, Violet walked over to one of the couches and picked up a blanket that was half draped across the couch and half dragged across the floor. She picked up the blanket, feeling the soft material it was created from. She realized she had never seen this one before, it must of been AJ's blanket. She folded it back into a neat square and set it at the end of the couch, when a thought crossed her mind.

Violet got down on her hands and knees between the coffee table and the couch. She bent her head down so she was eye level with the floor, and peered under the couch. It was dark, but she could just make out a shadowy figure towards the back. Without a second thought she reached her hand under the sofa, aiming for the mystery object. Violet hoped there weren't any spiders under there. She could feel the collection of dust and derbies against the underside of the couch, which felt kind of gross but tickled to the touch. Her arm was just long enough as she grasped the to be determined object.

She pulled it out and, after removing a few clumps of dust bunnies, examined it in the light of the room. Her hand held what appeared to be a green vegetable, broccoli, that wore sunglasses and seemed to be in a dancing pose. She smiled knowing AJ would be elated to have this back. She stood back up and wiped some dust off her jeans. She turned her attention to the other two in the room as AJ continued to express his concern to Clementine.

"He's not in hear either. What if we don't find him?" The younger boy said to his so called sister.

"Hey, don't worry goofball. Will find him. After all Rome wasn't built in a day." She told him.

AJ's nose wrinkled in confusion. "What's Rome?" He asked, not familiar with the term.

"Uhhh, never mind. Don't worry about it." Clem told him, not wanting to explain it to him at the moment. She turned around to see how the other girl was doing. "Find anything Vi?" She called from across the room.

"Actually, yes." Violet brought an arm out from behind her back and presented the toy to the two of them.

AJ's face light up like fireworks on the forth of July. "You found him!" He ran up to the blonde who handed him the toy.

"He was stuck under the couch." Violet explained. She smiled at AJ's excited expression. She looked to Clem who gave her a smile back in silent thanks. She was shocked when she felt a pair of small arms wrap around her waist. "Thank you Violet!" AJ told her.

Violet felt extremely awkward being this position, not quiet sure what to do. "Oh,uh...y-your welcome?"

She felt AJ release her from the hug. "I'm going to go put him in my room right now!" And with that he dashed up the stairs leaving the girls alone again.

Violet let out a breath, relieved to finally be free from the hug. She heard Clem giggle to the right of her. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing." Clem shook her head and walked over to stand next to her girlfriend. "Thank you for helping. I know it's not the most exciting task."

Violet waved her off. "I was glad I could help. He seems to care a lot about that toy." She said looking in the direction that AJ had run off to.

Clem sighed. "He would. That was the first toy I ever gave to AJ. It means a lot to him." Clem explained.

"I bet. He cares a lot about you and you care a lot about him." Violet told the brunette. "I think it's cool how you have that kind of a relationship. It's rare to find these days."

Clem gave a half hearted smile. "Yeah...AJ...He-he means the world to me. Without him, I probably wouldn't be here."

Violet gave her a confused yet concerned look. "What do you mean?"

Clem swallowed hard. Did she really want to tell Violet this. What would she say? How would she react? "Clem?" Came Violet's worried voice.

Clem let out a breath. She knew she could trust Violet. She had already told her so much more than what most people even knew about her. "Vi...this is going to sound really fucked up, but I..."

Violet could see the hesitation in Clem's face. She wanted to tell her, but was afraid to. Violet grabbed on to Clem's hand and felt the other girl relax as she interwove their fingers. She offered the brunette a small smile. "It's okay Clem. You can tell me."

"I-I lost someone awhile back. Afterwards I had a really bad break down." She looked Violet in the eyes. She could do this, she had to do this. Violet needed to know. "I...I tried to kill myself."

Violet's eyes widened, as shock flooded through her mind. "Holy shit Clem! Your serious?"

Clem nodded, clearly ashamed for having even thought about such a thing. "I couldn't bring my self to do it. Not when I had people who needed me. Not when AJ needed me. I should have never even considered it. It was selfish and a mistake and I regret it every single day."

Clem's confession had perturbed Violet to say the least, but she could tell Clem was deeply guilt-ridden about the whole ordeal.

"Being there for AJ is what kept me going. Without him, I don't know where I'd be." She looked down at the floor, too contrite to meet Violet's gaze. "AJ and Luke mean everything to me. There the ones that keep me going. They helped me feel human again."

Clem gulped, her throat starting to feel dry, trying to keep back the tears that were starting to form. "Sorry, I just thought you should know. I wasn't in a good place. I-I was just so tired of losing people. I was so tired of feeling alone." She felt a single tear run down the left side of her face.

She looked up when she felt a hand on the side of her face. Violet gave Clem a sympathetic look followed by a slight smile. She knew it was hard for Clem to admit that to her, and was proud of her for doing so. Violet brushed her thumb against the side of Clem's cheek to wipe away the tear from her face. Violet's smile, however turned into a frown after a moment. Clem had trusted her enough to tell her something as personal as this, now it was her turn.

"Clem?" She asked hesitantly.

"Yeah?"

"There's something I need to tell you." It was Violet's turn to look to the floor.

"Okay." Clem said a bit worried about what Violet was about to confess.

"I-I wasn't really sent to Ericson because I was gay." She admitted. "I'm sorry I lied. I just thought you'd hate me if you knew the truth."

Clem blinked in confusion. That's what this was about. Clem gave her a lenient smile. "Vi, it doesn't matter who you were before. All that matters is who you chose to be now."

Violet was great full that Clem wasn't mad at her for lying, but she still felt like she should tell her. "I-uh, thanks. But I still think you should know."

Clem nodded in understanding. "Okay."

Violet drew in a deep breath before starting. "I spent a lot of time at my grandma's house growing up, with my dad being a drunk and my mom working three jobs. But after my grandpa died, grandma just kinda...shut down. Spent all day rocking in her chair in the den. I'd sit there at her feet as we both watched TV, mostly cartoons since she never seemed to care. Sometimes I could hear her crying, but I didn't look back. I'd just feel really weird and turn up the volume. You know?"

Violet looked to Clem to see her still listening to every word that poured out of her mouth. "Anyway, one day she left the den and came back with another chair and a .22 rifle. Set the rifle butt on the top of that chair, holding the barrel back to her chest. She had trouble reaching the trigger this way, but she must of known it would happen...Because she took out this really tacky, wooden backscratcher and uh...used that to push the trigger in."

She spared Clem a glance but continued on. "So..yeah. Bang. Right? Her body folded up and just kept... rocking. My mom came to get me five hours later, I hadn't moved. She asked me why I didn't call the police or an ambulance or anything. I just shrugged and said 'It's not like grandma was going anywhere and besides...I just wanted to finish my cartoons.'" Violet looked up at Clem. "She shipped me off to Ericson the next day."

Clem wore a saddened expression on her face. They see a lot of shit now of days, but this had happened before the world had gone to hell. "I'm so sorry Violet. I can't imagine what that must of been like for you."

Violet sighed. "It's fine. We've just been through a lot of shit. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." She looked up at Clementine. "I really care about you Clem. I promise, I'll never let something like that happen to you."

Clem brought herself closer and wrapped her arms around the girl, resting her head on Violet's shoulder.

Violet welcomed the hug. "Your not alone anymore." She told her.

"Violet?" Clem whispered against the girl's neck, still held in her embrace.

"Yeah?" Came her gentle response.

"Your the one that keeps me going now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I felt like we needed to include AJ a bit more in this story, hence the beginning. Kind of felt like he had been forgotten. But I made sure to back it up with some Violentine moments.
> 
> Hopefully the next chapter will be out sooner. Hope you all liked this!
> 
> Secret Life of Writing Out! :)


	13. If You Love Me Don't Let Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I wasn't kidding about that next chapter being out quicker. Even I'm surprised, but I was in a mood to keep writing. :)  
> I'm going to be honest with you guys though, I cried while writing this chapter. It also doesn't help when your listening to a sad song for inspiration.

"Your the one that keeps me going now." Kept echoing through Violet's mind for the rest of the day. She would glance across the table at the brunette, seated on the other side, every so often. Amber eyes would meet green and she couldn't help the soft smile that would form on her lips each time.

Each time those words would repeat, her heart would swell. Clementine really trusted her. For her to say that, really meant something. After everything Clem had told her, it really put that in perspective. Clem had admitted that she had in fact tried to kill herself, but she had other people that had kept her going. Luke had been there for her and AJ needed her as well. But it wasn't just them anymore. Now Violet was the one keeping her going. She was the one that made her life worth living for.

Violet felt herself smile again, Clem was like that for her as well. No, Violet had never attempted to give up on life, even if some days it felt like she wanted to. She had been through loads of shit that hadn't made things any easier, but having someone in her life made the difference. Clementine wasn't like anyone else she had ever met. She didn't know how, but something about that girl had brought her walls down, had gotten her to care, made life worth living, and had gotten her to love again

"That's it, I fold." Came Louis's unfortunate voice, as he threw down his cards.

"Me, too." Luke said, his cards joining Louis's in the middle of the table.

"What's it gonna be Vi?" Louis asked, excited to see were this was going.

Violet brought herself back into the game, having been lost in thought. She peered at her cards again, She had two pair with kings and tens. She felt pretty confident. "Call it." But a glance at Clementine's face caused her nerves to get the best of her.

"Moment of truth!" Louis yelled. Violet bit her lip in anticipation. "Flip' em!"

Both Clem and Vi flipped there cards over for everyone to see. "Dammit!" Violet said as her fist hit the table.

"I win again!" Clem boasted. Her cards showed a full house present in front of her. Damn the girl was good at poker.

Violet let a small smirk show, she was kind of glad Clem won. "Good game Clem."

Clem smiled back, but Louis cut in before she could respond. "I thought you had her that time Vi! Looks like you still suck!" He teased her.

Violet rolled her eyes at his remark. But he wasn't wrong. Clem had won the last three rounds, this one making it number four.

"I regret letting Pete give you pointers back at the cabin." Luke told her as he leaned back into his chair.

"You just say that because you suck at this game." Clem told him, a teasing smile on her face.

He chuckled. "Maybe your right." He sighed as he stood up from his chair. "Alright I'm out. I'll see you guys in the morning."

"Night Luke." Clem told him as he passed by her.

"Night, Clem." He told her back as he turned the corner and disappeared up the stairs.

Louis stretched out in his chair as he gave a much exaggerated yawn. "I think I'm done too. After all it takes a lot of beauty sleep to look this good." He gestured to himself as he stood up.

"You must not sleep a lot then." Violet threw back at him.

"Love you too, Vi." He said as he winked at her, not letting the comment strike his self esteem.

Violet shook her head as she rolled her eyes. Clem just laughed as they stood to follow him upstairs, which got Violet to smile as well. She loved it when Clem laughed. It was a moment where she was truly happy.

They reached the top of the stairs just as Louis walked into his and Violet's bedroom. Violet was about to push the door back open to enter when she felt Clem grab her hand. She turned to see a shy looking Clem, clearly flustered by the action.

"I, um...I'm sorry." Clem let go quickly. Sure they were girlfriends, but that didn't make this any easier. She still felt uneasy about asking. It was still hard to sort out her feelings at times.

Violet's gaze softened. "Clem, it's okay. What's the matter?" She asked, making sure to keep her voice gentle.

"I...C-can you stay with me? Please? I sleep better, when-when your there." Clem stuttered as she felt her face heat up. She felt embarrassed, almost ashamed at having to ask. But she never had any nightmares when she was with Violet. Even if she did, she knew Violet would be there to comfort her. Like when she would say, "Your not alone now."

Violet gave her a heartfelt smile. "Of course." She said, knowing Louis wouldn't mind having their room to himself. She gave a slight chuckle. "Besides, not sure if I can still trust you to come and get me again." She teased the girl in the baseball cap.

Clem blushed at the blonde's words and gave her a light shove. "Shut up." She playfully smiled at her.

Violet lightly laughed at Clem's reaction, before becoming a bit more sincere. "But seriously," She looked into amber eyes. "I'm hear for you if you need it." She reached out and took Clem's hands in her own, giving them a light squeeze.

Clem gave her a smile and squeezed back. "I know." Then she leaned in closer and briefly let her lips touch Violet's in a short kiss.

Both girls blushed a shade of red once Clem pulled back. Clem out of embarrassment, wondering if she had done the right thing. And Violet who still couldn't believe that this was really happening. It was still a new feeling, one that would take some getting used to, but a pleasant one at that. One that would cause Violet's heart to flip and Clem's stomach to catch butterflies in excitement.

Clem offered her a light smile. She relaxed a bit more when she received one back. Without saying a word Clem led Violet into her bedroom, careful not to make to much noise since AJ was already asleep, tightly clutching his Disco Broccoli plushie in his arms.

Clem smiled at the sight, placing her hat on the dresser before sitting down on the bed. She scooted over closer to the wall, prompting the other girl to lay down next to her. Violet eased herself down onto the mattress, a bit hesitant. Sure they had spent the night together before, but sharing a bed was a new experience.

It was quiet for a few minutes, nothing but the sound of their light breathing and the wind that sounded outside. Clem was a bit tentative at first, but worked up the courage to shuffle closer to the blonde. She bit her lip in hesitation, and tensed up at first when she felt an arm wrap around her shoulders. But Clem immediately relaxed into Violet's touch afterwards. She wrapped her arms around Violet's waist and laid her head on her chest. The rhythmic sound of Violet's heartbeat and the warmth of another person instantly calming her, she hadn't felt this safe in forever. That feeling of love. Protection. It felt so right.

Violet hadn't been this close to a person in over a year, not since Minnie. Even then it didn't scratch the surface to how she felt now. Clem was warm against her body, it felt right. She gently ran her fingers through Clem's dark curly hair. Clem's light voice grabbed her attention. "Vi?"

"Hmm?" She lightly hummed.

"I love you."

Violet leaned down and placed a soft kiss to Clem's forehead. "I love you too." She whispered.

\-----

Clem woke the next morning nightmare free. She hadn't slept through the night in such a long time. She had never felt more content than when she had been in Violet's arms, a feeling that she never wanted to lose.

The next night had been no different.

Clem stopped Violet outside her door again. "Stay with me?" She quietly asked.

Violet grabbed her hand giving it a comforting squeeze. "Always."

This time Clem didn't hesitate to cuddle into Violet's embrace. Her face buried into Violet's neck, trying to move as close as possible, as if worried Violet would leave her if she didn't. "Don't ever leave me."

Violet smiled at the words, she tucked a lose curl behind Clem's ear. "Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere."

\-----

It became a nightly occurrence, Clem didn't even have to ask Violet to stay with her anymore. It was automatic for both of them to head to bed together, each night with Clem enclosed in Violet's arms.

Clementine couldn't of been more happy. She had been free from the terrors of her nightmares for over three days. The longest she'd been nightmare free in a long time. No more sleepless nights. No more visions of traumatic moments. No more having to relive the deaths of all the people she's lost...All the people she's lost. It made her start thinking, which was never a good thing to do.

Tonight would have been no different, except words from the other night kept replaying in her head. "Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere." She didn't know why, but it left her feeling uneasy. She fell asleep with the words still on her mind.

"Let her go!" Clem tried to move forward, but was held back by someone unidentifiable.

"Clem! Clementine!" A voice shouted.

"No! Please! Stop!" She could feel tears stream down her face. Not again, she couldn't do this again. She couldn't lose another person, especially someone who meant so much to her. She fell to her knees, arms still pinned behind her back. "Don't leave me."

Bang!

Clem bolted up right in a panic, breathing heavily. The tears from her dream became real as she started to cry. She was scared and couldn't help but let it show.

Her sudden movement and wails woke Violet in an instant. She pushed herself up into a sitting position. "Clem?"

Clem turned to the sound of her voice. Out of instinct she threw herself at Violet and gripped onto her shirt. Clem cried loudly into her shoulder, the rampant sobs causing her body to shake violently against the other girl. Clem was always so strong when she had to be, but when she wasn't in the heat of battle things really got to her. Her nightmares and panic attacks were a side effect of that. She wished it wouldn't bother her, that she didn't have to deal with feeling this way. She wanted to be strong for the people that needed her, for AJ. She wanted to show Violet that she could be resilient. But she couldn't help but feel terrified.

Violet wrapped her arms around the younger girl, rubbing her back soothingly. "It's okay. It's alright, I'm here." She tried to calm the brunette, but it didn't falter her cries.

Violet was surprised when her words didn't have as great of an effect on Clem as they usually did. If anything it seemed to make Clem cry harder. The salty droplets running down Clem's face and dripped down onto Violet's neck as Clem held onto her. Violet didn't understand what had her so upset. She whispered soothing words, just holding the other girl until she settled down.

Violet looked across the room, worried they would wake up AJ, but was surprised to find the bed empty of a person. She figured he had probably woke from a nightmare and had gone to sleep with Luke, since Violet resided with Clem.

It took about ten minutes, before Clem could finally quiet herself. Violet pulled her back as much as Clem would allow, to look at her face. She reached a hand up to dry some of her tears. Clem was still pretty shaken up. Violet pulled her into her lap, close so Clem could feel her heartbeat. It always seemed to calm her down.

Clem had a death grip on Violet's shirt, a lot like how a small child would, as tears silently slipped from her eyes and down her face. Violet was puzzled as to what could of caused such a harsh breakdown from Clementine. All of Clem's body language screamed please don't leave me!

Violet tried to talk to her again. "Clem? What's wrong? What happened?"

"I d-don't want to lose you." Was her shaky reply. "N-not again."

Her explanation kind of shocked Violet. "What? Your not going to lose me." Violet reassured her. "I'm not going anywhere."

Clem shook her head against Violet's body. "You can't promise that." She waited a second before continuing. "I-I've lost so many people. So m-many people that I cared about...I-I don't want to lose you too." A few more tears leaked out dampening Violet's shirt. "I d-don't want to be a-alone." She whimpered.

She had lost so many people and it haunted her everyday, until Violet had shown up. Violet had made all those fears go away. She had been a light in the darkness. But what happened if she went away. What would Clem have then? She couldn't lose another person. She couldn't lose Violet. She just couldn't. She wasn't going to lose Violet like how she had lost Kenny or how she had lost Lee. It scared her so much to think about not having her in her life anymore.

Violet closed her eyes as she hugged Clementine closer. "Your not alone anymore." There were those words that Clem had come to know and love. "I promise Clem, I'll never leave you. I love you..." Vi, felt her own tears sneaking up on her. "...so much."

Clem snuggled closer into Violet's embrace. "If you love me, don't let go."

Violet rested her chin on top of Clem's head. "I never will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been wanting to write this chapter for a while now. Just had to find a way to work up to it, hence the last chapter. So glad it's finally out. :)  
> And as promised I should be introducing another character next chapter.
> 
> Thanks for all the positive feedback I've been getting. It really means a lot to me and motivates me to write.  
> Hope you guys liked this! Until next time!
> 
> Secret Life of Writing Out! :)


	14. What Are The Odds?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lack of motivation starting out with this chapter, but as I continued on a new idea for the next chapter hit me and I became more engrossed in this. So sorry if some things lack in detail; I don't know, something felt off. :P You guys let me know what you think.

"Shit," Luke said as he stared at the contents inside the kitchen cabinet. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"What's wrong Luke?" Clem asked from the living room. She walked over to stand next to him.

"We've got a problem." He told her. "We're lower on supplies than I thought we'd be." He rubbed the back of his neck in thought. "Course, I didn't count on havin' two extra people livin' with us at the time."

Clem looked to the cabinet before them and furrowed her eyebrows in thought. Luke's voice pulled her back. "I know we've got those spears now for fishing, but...if that stream freezes over, we ain't got much of an option. I'd like to have more stocked up in case this winter is brutal. It's a lot harder to hunt now than it was back at the cabin."

Clem turned to face him. She didn't exactly like the idea she was about to pitch, but they didn't have much of a choice. "Well, why don't we go out today? Bring back whatever we can find. That last town we hit could still have something left over, plus whatever we find on our way back."

Luke raised a brow at her idea. "You sure you're up for a trip like that?"

She gave him a look that said,  _do you know who you're talking to?_  "Of course! Why wouldn't I be?"

"Just making sure you're alright." Then his expression turned to a slight frown. "I heard you scream last night, everything okay?"

"Oh." Clem felt her face flush as she avoided eye contact. She cleared her throat. "Y-yeah, I'm okay. Just another stupid nightmare." It was a bigger deal than that, but she wasn't about to tell Luke that.

Luke sighed. "Alright. If you guys are up for it we can see what we can scavenge."

Clem smiled. "I'll go tell Violet and Louis."

She walked up the stairs and followed the sound of the piano keys to the spare room, now called the "music room" thanks to Louis, at the end of the hallway. She opened the door to find Louis coaching AJ in playing a simple rhythm on the piano as the younger boy sat next to him and curiously watched his fingers glide across the keys. "See, it's easy!" Louis told him. "Now it's your turn."

She watched AJ hesitantly press the assortment of keys as Louis pointed to each one, a smile on his face every time he succeeded in playing the melody right. She looked and saw Violet standing off to the side. Arms folded as she watched.

She walked up to stand next to the blonde, who smiled at her as she approached. The two didn't say anything till the noise from the piano stopped. AJ looked up at his supposedly older sister and smiled. "Clem, I can play the piano now!"

She smiled. "Not bad kiddo."

Violet chuckled. "You already sound better than Louis."

"Hey!" Louis sent her a glare as AJ giggled at the teasing the two did.

"I'm gonna go tell Luke!" AJ beamed as he ran past the girls.

"Anyway," Clem started. "I've got a question to ask you guys." She told them, uncrossing her arms and leaving a hand on her hip.

"Shoot." Said Violet. Their attention now directed towards Clem.

"How'd you feel about going on a trip?" She asked them.

Violet raised a brow. "What kind of trip?"

"Luke doesn't like how low our supplies have gotten. He's worried if the stream freezes over we won't have enough to get us through the winter. I am too. It's better if we start saving up now than be fucked when it's December and there's a foot of snow on the ground." She explained.

"Sure count me in!" Stated Louis cheerfully.

"Yeah, whatever you need," Violet told her. She smiled at the brunette, receiving one back.

The teens made there way back downstairs to where Luke and AJ stood in the living room. Clem walked to the front door and grabbed her backpack, hoisting it onto her shoulder. "We're ready when you are." She told the man in the orange shirt.

AJ frowned at this, Luke already telling him the plan. Whenever he and Clem went on supply runs he always got left to watch the house. It was fun the first couple of times, but now it sucked. "Can't I go with you?" He asked the girl in the baseball cap.

Clem bit her lip in worry. She hated leaving AJ alone, but someone had to stay and guard the cabin. Not to mention it was safer than risking it out there. That's when Luke spoke up. "Why don't you take AJ with you. I'll stay behind and keep watch." He told her.

Clem was a bit surprised at his offer. "Uh...Are, you sure?"

Luke nodded. "I think you both could use some time out of the house."

Clem sighed. She was worried about AJ's well being, but she was also glad that he was coming. It made her feel better knowing that he was with her. "Okay, but stay close. Alright?"

AJ smiled excitedly. "I will."

Clem nodded in approval, then turned to the other two. "Ready to go?"

"Just let me grab Chairels and then we can leave," Louis told her as he walked away to grab his weapon of choice.

Violet took the moment to pull Clem aside, away from the others. "Hey, you okay?" She asked the younger girl.

"Yeah, of course," Clem told her.

Violet bit her lip in hesitation. "You sure? It's just...last night you seemed really...upset. I just want to make sure your okay."

Clem brushed her off. "I'll be fine Vi. Really, I'm okay."

Violet sighed. "Alright." She paused before adding, "You better not disappear on me, okay?"

Clem gripped Violet's shoulders and leaned in placing a kiss to her girlfriend's lips. "I promise." She said, a smile on her face as she pulled away.

A chuckle grabbed their attention. "What are you doing?" AJ asked from the sidelines, amused at whatever they were doing.

"Go...look in another direction," Clem told him as she turned away, her cheeks slightly flushed at being caught by AJ.

Violet couldn't help but smile at her girlfriend's slight embarrassment as they waited for AJ to walk away. "I thought you said you liked being open with your girlfriend." She teased her.

Clem turned a darker shade of red. "Shut up. He's like five years old."

Violet chuckled at Clem's expense. "Yeah, okay."

Just then Louis came back into the picture. "Alrighty, let's move out."

* * *

"Ugh, nothing." Clem gave an annoyed groan, closing the pantry door.

They'd already been gone for about three to four hours with barely any progress. The town Luke and Clem had previously visited had some supplies left over, but not enough to make the two-hour walk to get here worth it. Looks like she and Luke had stripped the town of its resources a lot more than she had previously thought. That, and the fact that other people could have also passed through in the time they had left it.

Violet put a hand on her girlfriend's shoulder. "Don't worry Clem, will find something...eventually."

Louis turned around to face them after looking through a beat-up box that had some serious water damage. "Well, there's always another option. I mean if you're okay with it Vi." He said as he hoisted himself up to sit on the kitchen counter of the abandoned house they were in.

She gave him a look, puzzled at what he was hinting at. "What do you mean?"

Louis seemed hesitant to answer, almost like a war was going on in his head, debating if he should share his thoughts with the group. "We...could...always go back. You know too..."

"No, no fucking way!" Violet snapped at him, cutting him off. "Louis, we can't risk that! You saw what they did to them, what they did to Marlon, Brody, what they did to the twins!"

"Look, I don't like it either," Louis said raising his hands in defense from Violet's rath. "But it's the one place we know of that actually has food and supplies."

"We don't know that!" Violet spat back at him. "For all we know, they came back and took everything."

"Wait, are we talking about the school?" The brunette asked, trying to piece together Louis's plan.

Louis nodded. "It's not that far from here. We could be there in a half hour if we hurry." He explained. "There has to be something left. Plus we can check the traps on the way in."

"That...actually doesn't sound like a bad idea." Clem agreed with him.

"This is not a good idea Louis. They could still be there, or worse it's overrun with walkers." Violet crossed her arms and turned away from him, angered at him even considering going back.

"Vi, you know as well as I do that there has to be something left. We weren't exactly at the bottom of the barrel, plus we had all that food from the train station." Louis reminded her.

Clem walked in front of Violet, so she could look her in the eye. "Vi, if there's even a chance of us getting some more supplies we have to take it."

Violet sighed and gave her girlfriend a saddened look. "Clem you weren't there! You didn't see what they..."

Clem placed a hand on her shoulder. "I know. But we need this. Please, Vi. For me?"

Violet gave an annoyed sigh. "Fine."  _Only for you, s_ he thought.

Clem breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. "Thank you."

Louis cheered in victory. "Alright! Let's do this!"

* * *

"Look there's another one!" AJ shouted as he pointed at another rabbit that was caught in one of the homemade traps.

"Nice job." Violet praised him as they approached the trap. The rabbit twitched as they neared closer, struggling against the rope that restrained it's foot, preventing it from escaping as it hung upside down in the air.

Clem always hated this part. It was great that they were finding food, but she felt her stomach twist every time they had to kill an innocent creature. She took the rabbit in her hands, feeling it's rampant heartbeat against her hand, scared for its life. She winced as she grabbed hold of its head and snapped the neck, killing it. She felt terrible since she loved animals, but it was either the rabbit or them. She untied the rabbit's foot from the trap and handed the small furry creature to Louis before more guilt consumed her.

"Awesome, that makes three!" Louis cheered, obviously used to this kind of thing.

"It's not much, but it's something," Violet said unfolding her arms. "C'mon, we're not that far from the gate now."

Clem and AJ followed Violet and Louis towards a short bridge that led up to a brick wall covered in barbed wire at the top and a metal gate as an entrance to what looked like a courtyard to the school. Clem couldn't see behind the wall, but she studied its form. It looked pretty defendable and the school was placed in the middle of the woods, miles away from any other civilization. It's no wonder these kids had survived for so long. No one probably even knew this place was here.

A call from Violet brought her back. "Shit," Violet whispered. "Hold up." She said as she crouched lower to the ground.

"What's up?" Clem asked coming up next to her.

"We got walkers surrounding the front." She pointed out towards the length of the wall. There were about three walkers surrounding the main gate, nonmoving as if they were admiring the scenery and two farther down the length of the wall, while three more wondered aimlessly around the surrounding area, snarling in their own walker language.

"What do you wanna do?" Louis asked the blonde, kneeling beside the two.

"We're gonna have to take them out," Violet told him, surveying the area. "We can't risk it."

"Got it," Louis said placing the rabbits down and securing Chairels in his grip, ready to smash open some walker heads.

Clem pulled out her knife and turned to AJ. "You got your gun?" She asked.

AJ responded by pulling out the pistol and showing it to her. "Good. Stay here and watch our supplies. Call out if you see anything." She told him, standing to join Violet and Louis.

AJ nodded. "Okay."

Clem gripped her knife in her hand, making sure her hold on her weapon wouldn't falter when she went to thrust it into a walker's skull. She approached the first of the dead, cautious of her surroundings, making sure none of them snuck up on her. When the walker finally noticed her descent towards it, it started to limp towards her, arms outstretched in attempts to grab onto anything that was alive and pull it close to its jaws.

Once it was in reach Clem kicked the walker's left knee sending it down into a kneeling position. It growled in protest but was silenced seconds after as her blade was plunged into its soft skull.

Clem heard someone call out to her. "Nice one Clementine! Could use a little more finesse though! Watch and learn!" She turned to see Louis next to a tree. A walker a few feet away. "Hey! Over here!" He called out to the deadhead. The walker didn't have to be told twice as it followed the sound of his calls and stumbled closer. Once it was in the range of the tree Louis pulled out a knife and cut a rope attached to the tree. This sent a huge boulder to come crashing down upon the undead, crushing it instantly.

"And that's how you school a walker!" Louis told her. "There's a whole bunch of traps laying around waiting for these asshats. Give it a try!"

Clem chuckled at him. "You kill walkers your way, I'll kill them my way." She said as another one of the dead approached her. She gripped her knife again and thrust it into the side of the walkers head. She pulled it out as blood dripped from the wound she had inflicted upon the creature.

Violet watched from a few yards away as she removed her clever from the head of her latest victim. Sometimes it was hard to believe Clem was the same person that had cried her eyes out in her arms. It was like her personality had done a complete one-eighty. She was so confident, so brave, fearless in the face of danger. She killed walkers like it was a daily routine, all part of her normality. Which she guessed was true now of days, but Clem did it without flaw. A simple rhythm of kick the knee and strike while her opponent was down. It was actually really smart and kind of badass if you asked Violet.

It kind of amazed her how great Clem was at this. Violet had been worried that this would have been too much for Clem after that episode she had last night. Clem had been utterly terrified that she was going to lose Violet, too scared to let go of the older girl. Now it was like none of that had ever happened. You never would have guessed that the girl would break down in tears. Clem held her own in a fight, not afraid to stare her enemy in the eye. Violet loved that about her girlfriend.

Violet plunged her blade into one last walker before turning and regrouping with Clem and Louis who had just finished off the last of their walkers. "Still got it!" Louis boasted, approving the work he had done.

Violet rolled her eyes. "Let's just get in before more show up."

Clem nodded in approval. "I'll get AJ and our things," Clem told her.

Violet nodded and she and Louis walked over and opened the gate. The rusted hinges causing it to squeak as it was opened. They walked inside and took in the image of there old home. The picnic tables that were still usable were still flipped over on their sides from when they had been used as protection against the Raiders all except one. Some walker heads still remained on spikes that were laid out across the courtyard, now rotting on top of their posts. Most of the grass was gone now too. Nothing left except the scorch mark across the ground where the flames engulfed the dry grass from that night, leaving the ground black and barren.

Violet looked to Louis who wore the same saddened expression that she had. This had been there home and those raiders had no fucking right to come in and capture their people and destroy the place they had once loved. It wasn't perfect, but it had been their home for years.

Violet flinched as she heard a noise, the sound of a door closing shut. She pulled out her clever and gripped it in her hand tight, ready for whatever or whoever was about to come out. She turned to face the building that held the dorm rooms, but what she saw caused her to drop her weapon as a little boy stared back at her and Louis. "T-Tenn?"

She watched as his eyes began to tear up and he ran towards her and forcibly wrapped his arms around her in a hug. He cried into her shirt as she hugged him back. "God, I-I can't believe your here," Violet said, a few tears forming in her eyes as well. She couldn't believe he was still alive, let alone here this whole time.

She released him from the hug only for Louis to give one of his own right after. "Glad to have you back buddy." He told the younger boy.

"I missed you guys," Tenn told them, a small smile on his face. But his smile soon turned into fear as he saw someone approach. He went and hid behind Violet at the sound of a new voice.

"What's going on over here?" Clem asked, her and AJ catching up to Violet and Louis. Then she took notice of the shy little boy somewhat hiding behind Violet, a scar across the side of his head, most likely a burn from a fire. "Who's this?"

Violet cleared her throat and stood out of the way so she could introduce the two. "Clem, this is Tenn. He lived here with us before everyone else was taken." Then she turned to Tenn and kneeled down to his height showing him that these new people weren't a threat. "Tenn this is AJ and Clementine...My girlfriend."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry there wasn't much of Tenn in this chapter, but it was mostly used to introduce him. But don't worry he's not going anywhere. ;)  
> I have to say, the part about the rabbits was hard for me to write. I have a pet rabbit named Woody, so it was hard for me to kill them off. Guess that's where Clem gets it from. I always find that I put so much of myself into these stories and never realize I'm doing it. :P
> 
> I'm excited for the next chapter. We're going to change Violet's story a little bit and learn a little more about her past. Hope you guys will like it. So no promises, but I feel the next chapter will be out relatively soon.
> 
> Secret Life of Writing Out! :)


	15. It's My Turn To Be Strong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter was inspired by my latest one-shot "That's What I'm Here For" (If you haven't read it, I recommend) and the Sims. Will be introduced to someone new, so I hope you guys like the twist I'm about to put on Violet's life.

Her girlfriend? Tenn blinked in confusion as he stared at the new girl and the little kid beside her. He knew Violet had once dated one of his sisters, but that had been over a year ago. Vi hadn't really opened up to anyone since then, only really accepting him as company every once in a while. Violet treated him almost as a little brother.

Louis patted him on the back seeing his confused look. "It's a long story...Well, not really, since we've only been gone for about a week."

Violet stood back up. "I can't believe you've been here this whole time. We...we thought they had taken you along with everyone else." Violet brought him in for another hug, pulling him close to her chest. "I'm so sorry." She told him, feeling guilty that they had left him behind.

"We tried looking for you when the raiders showed up, but...we couldn't find you. Violet didn't want to leave without you, but we barely escaped as is." Louis explained to him. "Then we found Clem... or rather Clem and her friend Luke found us."

Louis rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly afterward. "I...uh...don't suppose anyone else made it out as well?"

Tenn shook his head. "I hid in one of the closets in the dorms. When I got out...everyone was gone." He said in a saddened tone, a frown accompanying his face.

"Well, don't worry. We're not leaving you again." Violet told him.

She looked to Clem who nodded. "Glad we were able to meet you," Clem told the boy. "You can come with us if you want. We've got a house a little ways away. I'm sure Luke won't mind."

Tenn gave her a slight smile. "That sounds nice."

Then Louis spoke up. "Everything still here or did the Raiders take everything we had?"

Tenn shook his head again. "I think they left as soon as they gathered everyone because everything else was the way we left it."

Louis smiled, things were starting to look up. "Cool, then let's head to the kitchen and gather everything we have. I know where Omar likes to stash our supplies." He said starting to walk off in the direction of one of the buildings along with Tenn.

"You guys go on ahead...I...there's, there's something I need to grab," Violet told them hesitantly. She turned on her heel and took off before anyone could stop her, disappearing into the dorm room.

Clem wore a confused expression as she watched her girlfriend leave. "What was that all about?" She asked the boys.

Tenn motioned for Louis to come closer and whispered something in his ear. Realization dawned on the taller boy and he now wore a more serious expression. "Clem, you...you should follow Violet. She might need you."

The saddened looks she received worried her. What could Violet be doing that she would need Clem there for and why did Louis seem worried after Tenn whispered something to him? None the less she agreed to go check on the girl. "Uh...O-okay. You sure you don't need help?"

Louis brushed her off. "Nah, we've got it."

"Can I help too?" AJ asked excitedly.

"Sure thing little man," Louis told him, giving a thumbs up in his direction. AJ ran over to Louis's side and the three boys started walking away. Louis turned back around and shouted something to the girl in the baseball cap. "Violet's room is the fourth door down." He called out to her.

Clem sent him a thumbs up in response before she watched them disappear. She took a deep breath before starting off on her search for the missing blonde. She opened the main doors and found herself in a hallway. Most of the walls seemed to be engraved with various carvings and assortments of swear words, along with the doors. The foundation of the building was cracked in some places and had received some water damage, giving the inside a sort of musty smell. Pieces of glass littered the floor in places as well, where the windows had been broken, given way for plant life to come crawling in and take refuge in the building.

Clem noticed the row of doors that lined the right side of the hall, most of them chipped and scratched from the things that had been written or carved into their surfaces. All except the first door which was made from a stronger material. Judging by the map next to it, Clem assumed it was the door to the basement. Then at the end of the hall, there was a pile of junk that seemed to be an attempt at a barricade that prevented anyone from continuing on. It wasn't much of a concern since Clem only had to be able to reach the fourth room.

The brunette walked down the now abandoned hallway and stopped at the fourth door. She was hesitant to open it. She couldn't hear anything happening on the other side, but that only made her more nervous. She quickly pushed those thoughts away. She needed to do this. Clem gripped the doorknob in her hand and turned it, she slowly pushed it open. The door emitting a soft creek as she opened it.

She peered into the dimly lit room and saw Violet seated on the bottom of a bunk bed, an identical one across the room from it with a dresser placed in the middle below a boarded up window. Violet looked like she was ready to cry. She held something in her hand, but Clem couldn't make out what it was "Vi? You okay?" Clem softly asked.

"Clem!" Violet quickly brought a hand up to her face. "Shit," She slightly whispered as she tried to discretely wipe away whatever tears pricked the edges of her eyes. "What-what are you doing here?" She asked, her voice sounding a bit broken.

Clem slipped past the door closing it behind her. "I came to check on you." She walked over and sat down on the bed next to the blonde.

"I'm fine." Violet lied, trying to not let her voice falter when she spoke.

"Yeah, I'm calling bullshit on that," Clem chuckled. "What's wrong Vi?" Then she turned her attention to the object held in Violet's hand. It was a photograph. It was a picture of Violet, who looked way younger than she was now, maybe about nine or ten years old at most. Next to her was a teenage guy dressed in a pair of jeans and a light brown almost caramel colored sweat jacket with some sort of symbol on the left side, his white t-shirt just barely visible where the zipper wasn't quite pulled up all the way. He had short, bright red hair, possibly dyed, that stood up in the front. He was pretty tall looking, he was maybe about eighteen or nineteen years old in the picture. The two of them looked nothing alike except for the fact that they shared the same light green, almost gray eyes.

"Who's that?" Clem asked pointing at the guy in the picture.

Violet gulped, trying to lessen her nerves. "That-that's Jackson." Violet looked at Clem then down at the photo. She swallowed again, trying to get rid of the lump in her throat. "H-he's my brother." She quickly went to clarify after seeing Clem's confused expression, seeing as how they looked nothing alike. "Well, he's my half brother. Same mom, different dad."

Clem studied his features, Jackson had a bright smile as he looked down at Violet. You could definitely tell he cared for the younger girl. She smiled. "He seems nice."

Violet gave a light smile. "He was...He...um..." She felt tears gather in her eyes as her voice started to falter. She tried to push them back, but it was too overwhelming. Violet quickly looked away from Clem as tears started to spill from her eyes. She quickly tried to rub them away, but they just kept on coming. "I-I'm s-sorry."

Clem's heart broke at hearing her voice crack. Violet was always so strong, almost emotionless at times. It was strange seeing her so vulnerable. "Vi, it's okay to cry." Clem's voice was gentle and understanding. She placed a hand on Violet's shoulder for comfort. It was kind of ironic. Usually, it was Violet doing this for Clem. Now it was her turn to be there for her girlfriend.

Violet turned to look at the younger girl as salt infused tears continued to fall down the sides of her face. There was a short pause of hesitation before she wrapped her arms around Clem's neck and cried into her shoulder. Clem welcomed the hug and wrapped her arms around the girl. Violet's body shook with each sob as she cried her heart out in Clem's arms. She hated how weak she was being in this moment, but at the same time, it felt good to finally release all the pent up emotions she had been holding back. "mm' sorry," she mumbled into Clem's jacket knowing she was probably soaking it.

"Hey, it's okay," Clem said as she rubbed Violet's back soothingly. "I'm here. You don't have to be strong for me."

After about five minutes, Violet had finally calmed down enough to release her hold on the brunette. Clem looked at the picture that was seated on the bed between them. She picked it up and held it out at a distance so the two of them could see it. "Why don't you tell me about him? It might make you feel better."

Violet wiped some of her tears away with her sleeve and sniffled. "O-okay." She tried to clear her throat, but she couldn't help it as her voice shook. "Well, I-I told you that h-he was my h-half brother. His d-dad had died when he was y-young so Jack-Jackson lived with us for most of my life." She rubbed away some more tears that had gathered in her eyes, but couldn't stop them from continuing to form. "Like I said before, our m-mom worked three jobs and my dad was a drunk, so w-we were on our own for the most part. J-Jackson and I...uh...we-we were close, the two of us. He took care of me. H-he always put me first, always made sure that I was okay. He looked after us."

Violet looked at Clem than to the boy in the picture. She stared at his smile, his eyes, so full of life. "We always did everything together." She smiled and even chuckled a bit as a memory resurfaced. "I remember this one time he took me to the park with our mom. I was about six, I think. Anyway, I was scared to go on the swings because I was afraid I'd fall off if I went to high. So Jackson decided to turn it into a game. He said, _"Pretend your reaching for the stars, Violet. Each time you get a little bit higher you collect a star. If you can get up to ten stars I'll buy you chicken nuggets or ice cream."_

Clem chuckled at this, which got Violet to smile. "So I let him push me until he said I had collected ten stars. After that, I wasn't afraid anymore."

Clem smiled at her. "That sounds nice."

Violet smiled. "It was." But her smile soon faded as she continued the story. "So we were eight years apart, right. Jackson had gone off to college at eighteen, so...it was just me and mom at home until he came back on the weekends." She felt her heartbeat start to accelerate. "Anyway, it was a Friday night and Jackson was on his way home. There was supposed to be some severe snowstorm that evening, but we weren't worried. Jackson knew how to drive in bad weather." Violet felt tears brimming her eyes again, she pulled her feet up onto the bed and hugged her knees to her chest. "But...another car lost control. Slid on the ice and ra-rammed the side of my b-brother's car" She felt her chest tighten.

"I-it was five hours later. After he had told us that he was on his way home. He wouldn't answer his phone. Wouldn't call, wouldn't text." Violet could feel hot tears starting to stream down her face. "A-at ten o'clock we...we got a phone call. A-a police officer said they found J-Jackson's car f-flipped o-over...in a ditch." Violet felt short of breath now, causing her to stutter. "He...he said...he said, m-my brother...di..." She couldn't do it. Violet squeezed her eyes shut as tears ran down her face.

Clem put a comforting hand on Violet's shoulder, she needed this. "It's okay, Vi...You can do it."

She took a few shaky breaths. "He-he said...my brother had d-died... in a car crash." Violet choked on her sobs. Her body shook as she took in shaky breaths of air.

Clem immediately brought her in for a hug, which the girl accepted. "I'm so sorry Vi," Clem told her.

"T-thank you." She whimpered into Clem's neck as she cried.

They pulled apart and Violet wiped the tears from her eyes for what felt like the hundredth time. Her eyes finally starting to dry up. Clem decided to ask something that had been on her mind since Violet had first walked away. "Is this what you came to get?"

Violet nodded. "When-when we had first run away I wasn't able to grab my brother's picture. I knew it was dangerous to come back. So, I-I thought I'd never see it again, that... I'd never be able to see him again. A-and it hurt...so much." She took a deep breath. "But then...I met you. And you got me to come back." She looked back to the photo. "I-I wasn't going to leave without it."

Clem gave her a smile. "I understand. There are people I still miss too. It never really gets easier."

Violet nodded. "Yeah. It really doesn't" She looked over at Clem. "I-I was ten...when he died. After that, I wasn't really close with anyone. Then, you know, the whole thing with Grandma happened a year later. And... after that, mom shipped me off here."

Violet's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she stared at the floor, trying to put her emotions into words. "I-I guess I sort of...shut down, ya know. That is... until I met Minnie. But...after she left... I never wanted to be close to anyone anymore. I figured, what was the point if people were just going to leave me. I-I was too afraid... Afraid I'd be left alone again." She looked up at Clem. "Then you showed up. And, now...I can't imagine what I'd be like if you weren't here." She smiled at the girl in the baseball cap. "I love you, Clem."

Clem smiled at the words. Then she leaned in and placed a short but sweet kiss to her girlfriend's lips. "I love you back."

Violet let another smile grace her lips. "I'm glad."

The two sat in silence for a minute, before Clem spoke up. "You ready?" She asked knowing they'd been in here for a while and the boys were probably wondering what had happened to them.

Violet nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I...I'm good." She took her brother's picture and slid it into her pocket so she wouldn't lose it.

Violet stood up and followed Clem to the door and out into the hallway. But she stopped once a thought struck her. "Uh...hold on. There's something I want to grab."

Clem followed her a few doors down to another room. The inside looked exactly like the other room had except for a beat up bookshelf that stood off to the left. Clem watched as Violet walked over to a closet and opened the door. She reached up to the top shelf and pulled down a small toolbox that was covered in stickers.

Violet saw Clem give a questioning look at the box in her hand. "For Tenn. It belonged to his sister."

Clem didn't say anything but nodded in understanding. Then the two of them walked out of the room and out the front doors to rejoin the guys. They could see Louis, AJ, and Tenn seated on the steps of the Admin building, a few duffle bags lay on the ground at their feet, which Clem assumed carried the supplies they had gathered.

Louis saw them approach from afar and stood up. "There you guys are! Finally. I thought maybe you ditched us for the fun of it." He teased them.

"Clem!" AJ greeted her as he ran up and hugged his guardian. She smiled at him and kneeled down to his height so they could talk.

Louis's face became serious as he turned towards Violet. "You get it?" He said to her in a low voice so the others wouldn't hear.

Violet pressed her hand against her pocket to feel the presence of her picture, just to ease her mind and reassure her that it was still there. "Yeah." She whispered to Louis. She wouldn't leave it ever again.

Louis nodded in understanding, giving her a slight reassuring smile. He knew how much this meant to her.

Violet then turned her attention to the quiet boy off to the side. "Here Tenn. I grabbed this for you," She told him.

He smiled up at her. "Thanks." He said as he took the toolbox from her, knowing what was inside. "I missed having colors."

She gave him a slight smile. "Sure thing."

Clem stood back up and turned to the two of them. "We ready to go?"

"That's everything," Louis told her motioning to the black duffle bags on the ground.

"Good. Now we need to get back before it gets dark." She said raising a hand to cover her eyes as she stared towards the sun, seeing it start to dip below the trees. She could feel the temperature starting to drop as well. There was now a slight chill in the air that hadn't been there when they had arrived.

She slipped her backpack back on and grabbed one of the bags, prompting the two other teens to do so as well. Once they had gathered everything they started their march towards the gate. Before they passed through the gate, Violet pressed her hand to her pocket and ran her thumb across the surface one last time to feel the outline of the picture. _Never again_. She thought to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so another chapter with high emotions. If this didn't hit you in the heart, I don't know what will.  
> Just to clarify, I know Violet isn't supposed to have a brother. So let me explain where Jackson came from.
> 
> I've been playing the Sims lately and Jackson had a sister named Violet who actually looked and acted a lot like our Violet. They had the same mom, but different dads. Hence Jackson's red hair and Violet's blonde hair. But they were so freaken cute when they interacted with one another. So I wanted to incorporate him into this story. Now I get so freaken emotional when Jackson comes over. :P
> 
> So, I know it's fanfiction and not everything is like it is in the game, but...I felt like I owed you guys an explanation as to why this was thrown in there. Plus I think it's time Clem had a chance to be there for Violet.
> 
> As always, thank you guys for your support and comments. Means a lot. :)
> 
> Secret Life of Writing Out! :)


	16. A/N

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note  
> Sorry it's not an update. :(

Sorry this isn't a chapter, but something freaken weird happened!

Okay, so those of you who read the last chapter know how Jackson died in a car crash. Well, on my way home from college today traffic was backed up because of a car crash. And this car was completely totaled, it didn't even look like a car anymore. Worst crash I've ever seen. There were at least eight cop cars surrounding the area. I didn't see an ambulance, but I'm sorry to say that whoever was in the car probably didn't survive. :(  
Anyway, this car was in a ditch between the two roads and there was a white car stopped on the shoulder just like how I had imagined it in the story when Jackson's car got hit.

I know accidents happen everyday on the highway, but I find it freaken creepy that this happened the day after I post a chapter about it and how accurate it was to what happened in the story. Coincidence? Maybe, but I'll leave that up to you guys to determine.

So, again sorry this isn't a chapter. I'm disappointed about that too. But I thought I should share this with you guys because honestly, it's kind of blowing my mind that this happened.

Till next time!  
Secret Life of Writing Out! :)


	17. Add Another Scar to the List

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Shaded In is back for those of you wondering if I'd totally forgotten about it.  
> Sorry, it's been so long. Episode 4 left me an emotional wreck, so I kind of lost my motivation for writing this and wasn't sure how to continue. But I was actually inspired by a comment to write this next chapter, so hope you guys like it.

It was dark by the time they neared the edge of the tree line just before the cabin. It had taken longer than expected, the walker count exceedingly higher on the way back than on the journey to the school.

Violet had been mostly silent on the walk back, everyone giving her space knowing what she was feeling at the moment. Thoughts of Jackson and her conversation with Clem filtering through her mind. However, she remained vigilant enough to take down the common walker with her meat clever when they became present.

Like now, as she kicked the walker away with her foot getting her blade to slide from it's lodged position inside the soft skull. "What's with all the fucking walkers?" She said as she walked back over to join the others. "Haven't seen this many in a while."

Clem was a bit surprised at her question, the blonde not having said a word since their talk. Never the less she answered to the best of her ability. "Not sure. We get a couple herds every now and then that come through. They're not too bad, doesn't happen all that often." She looked to the sky seeing the brightness of the moon against the midnight sky through layers of pine tree branches. "Usually a storm is what brings them, like the night we found you guys. Not a lot of noise out here in..."

She was cut off by a yell from up ahead and what sounds like struggling mixed in with groans and growls. Clem stops in her tracks and the three older kids give knowing glances at each other before running to the edge of the clearing.

Clem slows to a halt when the cabin is in plain view, her breathing fast and heavy as she takes in the scene before her. Walkers had flooded the area, there was at least a dozen making there way to the middle of the clearing in front of the cabin. But what was most alarming was the man on the ground clutching his right arm as he desperately scooted back as a walker approached.

"Luke!" Clementine yelled in panic. She dropped the duffle bag she had been carrying and ran toward the figures, pulling out her knife in the process. She rushed towards Luke and the advancing walker, dodging a few on the way. Louis and Violet doing the same to take on the other walkers after warning AJ and Tenn to stay back.

Luke kicked at the walker sending it to its knees, but it didn't stop it's advance towards him as it continued to crawl it's way closer. Having dropped his machete and grabbing at his bleeding arm Luke had no way of defending himself other than to shuffle back from nearing teeth. The walker reached out with a boney hand and grasped his boot. He struggled to release his foot from its grasp. Just as it was about to bite down, the blade of a knife pierced through the back of its head pushing till the tip went through the mouth on the other side.

Luke looked up panting after being so close to death. "Whoa, thanks, kid."

Clem pulled her knife out letting the now dead corpse fall lifelessly to the ground. She reached a hand out and helped to pull Luke to his feet. Luke groaned as he rose to his feet still clutching his arm. Clem's eyes wandered to his wound, her eyes widening at the blood soaking his sleeve and the tear in his shirt. "A-are, are you...?"

Luke quickly shook his head. "No, I'm not bit."

Clem nodded and quickly took a look around at their surroundings. She could see Violet and Louis taking out a few walkers, but there were still quite a few left. Then she saw Luke's machete lying on the ground, the glint of the blade in the moonlight giving away its location. She picked it up and handed it back to its owner. "Get to the porch! Will clear them out." Luke gave her a nod in response and made his way to the wooden platform.

Clem turned back to the other walkers still lingering in the clearing that was part of their so-called "front yard". About half of them still remained as she saw Louis swing Chairles at an unsuspecting walker bashing his head in as blood sprayed out.

She ran to help, kicking down the first walker she came to and quickly ending its life with a quick thrust of her knife. With all three of them helping it didn't take long to dispatch of all the corpses. She saw Louis take one final swing sending his last walker to the ground. "And that's, how you school a walker." She joked with him, still slightly out of breath.

Louis gave her a smile in return. "Damn right."

Violet pocketed her knife not finding it as amusing. "Come on. Let's grab our stuff and get in before more show up." She said walking back over towards Tenn and AJ who had stayed with the supplies.

Clem and Louis smiled at each other before joining her. Clem approached her younger brother. "AJ, you okay?" She asked a hint of worry in her voice.

AJ nodded and smiled at her. "No bites."

"Good." She smiled as she picked up one of their bags. The others following as they walked back up to the house to join Luke on the porch.

AJ ran up to him. "Luke!" He stopped as he took notice of the man's arm. "Are-are you okay?"

Luke winced slightly in pain but brushed him off. "Yeah, kiddo. I'll be fine."

Clem opened the front door and ushered everyone inside closing the door behind her. "You guys can put everything on the table." She told Violet and Louis. "Luke take a seat on the couch. I'll look at your arm for you, your gonna have to take your shirt off."

Luke nodded in reply and made his way over to the couch easing himself down.

Clem put her bag on the kitchen table alongside the others then walked down the hall to the bathroom and came back with a first aid kit. She sat the metal case on the kitchen table before turning to Luke, looking at the bloodied sleeve where the cut had been made.

Louis gave a sympathetic look at Luke's arm. "Well, that looks like it hurts." He said as he and Violet came over and sat down on the couch opposite him.

Luke gave a slight chuckle. "Yeah it sure hurts like hell, but nothin' I can't handle. Lot worse has been done. Got shot in the leg once." He told them referring to the time they were ambushed by the Russians.

"What the hell happened while we were gone?" Violet spoke up nodding towards the injury.

Luke sighed while shaking his head. "I don't even really know." He watched as Clem rummaged through their medical kit for bandages and a bottle of peroxide. "One minute everything is calm, next thing I know, I look out the window and there's about fifteen lurkers wandren 'bout. My guess is a small herd roamed in. Couldn't just leave them there for you guys to stumble upon on your way back. So I grabbed my machete and went to take them out. Was doin' pretty well till one of the fuckers snuck up on me, caused me to drop my machete and it sliced my arm. Got me pretty good. Lucky ya'll showed up when you did."

"Damn." Louis said at Luke's bitter luck.

"Alright, you're going to have to take your shirt off for this part," Clem told Luke once she had the needed supplies laid out on the table.

Luke obliged and let Clem help him slide his orange shirt off, trying not to cause any discomfort to his wound. With his top finally off Clem tossed his shirt onto the table to be cleaned and fixed up later. Then she inspected his arm, seeing a large gash on his right arm near his shoulder. A long slit leading down to just above his elbow from where the machete had grazed him. There was a bit of blood that seeped out of the mark, but the flow had slowed considerably from the constant pressure Luke had been applying.

However, it wasn't the newly inflicted wound that caused Violet's eyes to widen. "Holy shit!" She cried out looking at Luke's arm. "What the fuck happened?"

Clem followed her girlfriend's gaze and saw what she was looking at. Instead of the gash on his right arm, Violet's focus was now on an all to familiar burn mark placed by Luke's shoulder on his left side. She could see the panic and worry in Violet's eyes and went to calm her. "Whoa, Violet it's okay. I have the same mark too. See?" Clem unzipped her jacket taking it off, leaving her in her yellow shirt. She rolled up her sleeve and showed off her identical mark that was engraved in her skin.

"That's one hell of a burn mark." Came Louis's voice examining their scars.

This only seemed to frighten Violet even more. "Why the hell would you do that to yourself?" She felt a kind of anger at the thought that Clem would inflict a burn upon herself like that, Luke included. She wondered if maybe this was something Clem had done in one of the darker moments of her life. Burning your skin wasn't something to take lightly. Tenn had a scar of his own from a fire that had broken out back at school, but these looked planned out. It wasn't just a regular burn but looked more like a symbol of some kind like when a horse is branded. Violet remembered Clem telling her about the scar from when Sam had bitten her but had never mentioned branding herself.

"Well, it wasn't exactly by choice, Vi," Clem told her, pulling her sleeve back down and going back to tending Luke's arm. She poured some peroxide onto a cloth and started to wipe up some of the slick blood that coated the older man's arm. Luke gave a hiss of pain at the touch, feeling the sting of the disinfectant as it fizzed slightly cleaning the wound.

"What do you mean?" Asked Louis intrigued at how the two of them came across the crude markings.

"We were part of a community once. They called themselves the New Frontier." Clem told them.

"Those are the people who took me from you, right?" AJ asked from his place at the kitchen table with Tenn, watching the boy with interest as he colored on a sheet of paper from a notebook.

Clem nodded in response. "Yeah, that's right AJ."

"They took AJ from you?" Louis said surprised.

Clem nodded. "Yeah. AJ was sick and they denied him the medicine he needed saying how it was a waste to use it on him. So I stole it to help him get better, but I got caught. So they kicked me and Luke out and took AJ from us, saying he'd only slow us down."

"That's fucked up," Louis said trying to understand how someone could sleep at night knowing they just left a child let alone a toddler to die like that and then take them away from their family.

"Oh, it gets worse from there," Luke said as Clem focused on wrapping his arm with a bandage, the cut not deep enough to need stitches. "Later we were part of a siege against those assholes in a town called Richmond. Turns out they'ed been doing raids against other communities behind everyone's back so their own community could survive." He explained. "They only cared about their own people not giving a damn what happened to other communities."

"That's why they brand people. To tell their own apart. You had to prove you belonged, that you were one of them...but it was all just a lie." Clem said in a solemn voice. She had no sympathy left for David and his people after what they did. She just hoped that Javi and his family were still doing okay after they had left to find AJ. "Not like we had much of a choice though. We were out of options and their group seemed like as good of a place as any. We wouldn't of joined otherwise."

"AJ doesn't have one of those, does he?" Violet asked, arms folded. She wasn't sure if these people were cruel enough to burn the flesh of a toddler.

"God, no!" Clem told her. "AJ was around two years old when we joined. They don't allow kids to become marked till their at least five. Seven or ten if they're lucky."

"Does it hurt?" Louis asked.

"How would you feel if someone melted the skin off your arm?!" Violet threw back at him still kind of agitated that they had gone through this.

Louis threw his hands up in surrender. "Fair point. Just wondering, Vi."

Luke huffed. "Hurt like hell gettin' it, but doesn't hurt anymore."

"There. Done!" Clem told him as she finished wrapping his arm. "See how it feels."

Luke inspected the bandages, admiring Clem's handy work. "Thanks! Nice job kid." He said sending her a smile then brought up a hand to pull the bill of her hat over her eyes.

Clem rolled her eyes at Luke's antics after readjusting her baseball cap but smiled none the less. "Why don't you go put on a clean shirt and rest. Will take care of everything down here." She somewhat ordered Luke.

"You're the boss." He jokingly told her as he stood up from the couch and headed upstairs to his room.

"Mind helping me?" She asked her friends.

"Sure thing." Louis cheerfully told her and headed over to where the boys were talking at the table.

Violet grabbed hold of Clem's hand before she could walk away. "What's up, Vi?" Clem asked her.

Violet held onto her girlfriend's hands as she looked more towards the floor than Clem's eyes. The anger from finding out about the scars burned out. "Can we...talk?"

Clem gave her a concerned look softening her expression. "Yeah, sure. Is this about...before?"

Violet slowly nodded.

Clem gave her a smile then leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Go ahead and go upstairs, I'll give you a minute alone. Me and the boys got this, Tenn can sleep with Louis tonight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for such a long delay or, well, long in my opinion. I like to update at least once a month. And yeah, I've stayed true to that, but it just feels like it's been forever since I posted a new chapter. Anyway, hopefully, the next chapter will be out much sooner.
> 
> Hope you guys were happy with this!
> 
> Secret Life of Writing Out! :)


	18. Are We Really Okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone!  
> Sorry, I don't have an Easter fic for you guys, trust me I wanted to write one but didn't have enough time. So I figured I'd post a chapter of Shaded In instead to make up for that.

"Hey, how's my favorite orange? You doin' alright?" Louis said as he jumped up and took a seat on the kitchen counter as he watched Clem stuffed the cupboards with the supplies they had brought back.

Clem rolled her eyes at the name Louis had called her. "I'm fine." She added kind of bitterly as she put the last few cans that were in the bag into the cabinet.

Despite Clem's agitated tone Louis still held a wide smile on his face. "You sure about that?" He asked as he hopped down from the counter. "You haven't said anything in a while, not since we started cleaning up."

She leaned over the table and rested her head in her hands. "I...I don't know how to answer that." She could see AJ and Tenn helping to fill a lower cabinet together out of the corner of her eye. She guessed they must of really hit it off. She was glad. At least AJ had someone around that was closer to his age.

Louis came over and sat in a chair next to her. He rested his elbow on the table, holding his head up with a hand. "Then talk to me. Let me give you some words of wisdom or some shit like that."

Clem chuckled. "Your gonna give "me" some wisdom. This'll be good." She said sitting down.

Louis flashed her a smile. "You should be grateful. Not everyone gets access to this kind of expert advice. But only if you tell me what's wrong."

"I think the words we're looking for is complete and utter bullshit." She smirked at him.

"Shush." He said waving her off. "Now tell me what's wrong." He got comfortable and put all his attention on the girl in the baseball cap.

Clem sighed leaning back in her chair. "I don't know. I just...I was afraid, okay."

"Of what?"

"Luke's cut." She quietly said.

"Don't go telling me you're squeamish around blood now, after you just patched him up." He teased her.

"No, you idiot." She playfully shoved him, giving off a slight laugh.

But Louis didn't care, glad he could get her to smile.

Clem's face went back to a serious tone. "Luke could of been bit. When I found him and his arm was bleeding, god, I-I thought, I thought he'd been bit. If we wouldn't of showed up when we did..." Her face paled at the thought as her heart started to hammer in her chest.

"Hey, it's okay." Louis went to calm her. "It's fine, Luke's fine. You saved him, Clem. It was pretty badass in my opinion."

"But what if I hadn't? What if I hadn't gotten there in time! I don't know what I'd do without Luke." She looked to her arm where the scar from her stitching was. She rolled up her sleeve slightly and traced her fingers over the mark lightly. "We've been through so much together. I just...fuck, Louis, I was just so scared I had lost him." She felt tears wanting to creep up on her, but wouldn't let them fall.

"But you didn't. You saved him and that's what matters." Louis still held his smile. "It's best not to think of the what if's. All your guaranteed is this moment, right now."

Clem gave him a slight smile. "Are these you famous words of wisdom?"

Louis adjusted his jacket in a professional manner. "One and only, you're welcome. By the way, I charge by the hour."

Clem shook her head but giggled. "Idiot."

"Maybe, but I'm your idiot." He winked at her.

Clem rolled her eyes at his teasing, but she was glad for his company. "Thanks, Louis. I needed to hear that."

Louis stood with her. "No problem! And if you ever need some more words of wisdom, you know where to find me. Violet's not the only one who can chase nightmares away." He grinned at her.

Clem's face turned a slight shade of pink at his words. "Er...um, thanks, Louis. I'll keep that in mind."

Just then AJ ran up to her side. "Clem, can I stay up longer and color with Tenn? I want to finish my picture." He pleaded with her. "We put everything away like you said,"

Clem thought about. It was late, but she did still need to talk with Violet. "How about this? I'll go talk with Violet and then come and get you when I'm done, deal?"

AJ smiled at her. "Yes!" He cheered before rushing back over to his friend.

She smiled at his enthusiasm before turning back to Louis. "Go on, I'll keep an eye on them." He reassured her, to which she nodded in approval before heading upstairs.

* * *

Upstairs Violet sat on the edge of Clem's bed. Her photo of her and Jackson sat in her hand as she stared at it. She looked up when she heard the door click as it was opened.

Clem entered and closed the door behind her giving a soft greeting.

"Hey," Violet replied back.

"So, you wanted to talk?" Clem asked as she came over and sat next to her girlfriend.

Violet nodded, "Yeah, yeah I did." She didn't say anything after that, leaving the room in silence for a few minutes.

Clem waited for Violet to work up the nerve for what she wanted to say, not pushing her into talking. She looked at the picture in Violet's hand and let a small smile cross her face. Violet looked really cute standing next to Jackson, a legit smile on her face. Violet's voice caught her attention. "W-what I wanted to say was...I'm sorry."

She looked away guiltily. "I'm sorry if I was weird at the school. It was harder than I thought it would be." She tried to keep her voice steady, to stop it from cracking. She wasn't going to get emotional again.

Clem put a hand on her shoulder. "Vi..."

She sat Jackson's picture on the bed next to her. "I just...I feel guilty like I shouldn't have made such a big deal about it. You shouldn't have to deal with all that. I...I shouldn't have put all of that on you. And I..." Violet felt like she was going to cry again no matter how hard she was trying to fight it.

"Violet, stop," Clem said firmly, but with no malice in her voice. "I-I'm not going to be upset with you for missing someone you love. It's alright to feel this way."

Violet looked over at Clem with glassy eyes and exhaled with a shaky breath. "I just...shit" She placed her face in her hands as she felt the slight movement of tears drip down her chin. She hadn't let herself think about feeling this way in forever. "I know I s-should be over this b-by now. I just r-really miss him." She mumbled into her hands.

"Vi...it's okay. It's been over eight years and there's not a day that goes by where I don't still miss Lee." Clem said as she rubbed her back soothingly. Then she looked at the ground guiltily. "Actually, If anyone should be apologizing it should be me."

This got Violet to look up and rub the tears from her eyes. "What, no Clem..."

"I-I'm the reason you never get any sleep. You always have to deal with me and my fucking panic attacks and nightmares. It's not fair to you, or anyone else." Clem told her frustrated with her self. She hated being a burden on other people.

"Clem, no, don't apologize. I already told you it's not your fault." Violet reassured her. "That's not something you can control."

Clem looked back up at Violet. She gave a slight chuckle, "Now you know how I feel when I tell you it's okay to miss someone."

Violet let a slight smile overtake her as she sighs "Yeah, I guess your right." She picks up her picture again and takes another look at it, this time feeling a sense of peace. "Clem, thank you. For...for all of it."

Clem sends her a smile in reply. "Your welcome. And you know, if you ever want to talk about Jackson, or the school, or whatever, I'm always here."

Violet smiled and brought the younger girl in for a hug. "Thank you."

When they pulled away she stood up and walked over to a bookshelf that stood at the end of Clem's bed and placed Jackson's picture on one of the shelves, propping it up against one of Clem's animal skulls.

Clem smiled at the gesture. "It looks nice. But it's missing something."

Violet watched as Clem walked over to her backpack and unzipped one of its pockets. She pulled out a folded piece of paper and walked back over to the shelf and placed it next to Violet's picture. It was a picture of a man in a white button-up shirt and a black tie that had been ripped in half only leaving him in the picture. Just by looking at it Violet could tell it was Lee. She was a bit surprised Clem had been able to hold on to it for so long after everything she's been through.

"There," Clem said stepping back to admire their work.

Violet smiled at her. "It's perfect."

Clem asked, "You, okay now?"

Violet nodded. "Yeah, I'm good."

She paused for a minute before turning to Clem and adding. "Are you okay?"

Clem didn't respond and instead chose to stay silent. Her gaze drifted to the floor.

"I just figured, what with happened to Luke you might be...a bit shaken. I know that must of been scary and I thought...maybe it had bothered you." Violet rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to..."

Clem waved her off. "No, it's fine. I'm okay, really." She tried to convince her girlfriend.

Violet held her gaze for a minute trying to judge if that was indeed the case, but she figured if something was bothering Clem she would tell her when she was ready and shrugged it off. "If you say so."

Clem pushed the conversation to the side and changed to a more happy note. "Now, come on. We've got to go get AJ and release Louis from babysitting duty."

Violet chuckled. "If he hasn't burned the kitchen down yet." Which got both of them to laugh.

Clem was glad she could spend this time with her girlfriend. Even after an eventful and emotional day, she was glad they could still laugh like this. She just hoped everything would be okay like she said, but she didn't know how wrong she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter isn't super long, I usually like to write at least 2,000 words or more. But trust me the next chapter should be out fairly quickly since I'm excited to write it. I thought we were getting close to the end but realized I still had more to write than I thought. Plus I still have to break everyone's hearts one more time before things get better. ;)
> 
> Anyway, hope you guys liked this! Have a Happy Easter! My rabbit Woody says hi.
> 
> Secret Life of Writing Out! :)


	19. Night Terrors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so longest chapter so far, almost 6,000 words.  
> I do have to warn you guys though, there is a bit of graphic violence at the beginning of this. And some trauma/panic attacks throughout it. So if your not a fan or comfortable with it...well you've been warned.

_"You make sure you tell me the truth when your sittin' in that chair...and you won't end up like Alvin."_

_Clem didn't respond. Instead, she sent him a stern glare not caring for whatever bullshit he dished out. It wasn't the first time she had been interrogated._

_He smirked at her as he made his way around and sat on the edge of his desk in front of her. "You and me...were more alike than you think."_

_"I already told you, I'm nothing like you!" She firmly stated._

_He gave a twisted smile as he leaned in towards her. "I know it when I see it...that's how I know you were the one who took the radios."_

_Clem's eyes widened for a second at his statement. How could he have known? Kenny was the one who had taken the blame for it. She quickly went back to glaring at him, hoping she could play it off as something else. But she didn't get the chance to speak before Carver started up again. He stood back up and made his way to the window. His arms folded behind his back as he looked out. "I knew it had to of been you. Everyone else in your pathetic group to incompetent to pull off something like that. I knew even when I was presented with that radio. Getting to punch Kenneth's eye out was just a bonus." He turned to see her reaction, but Clem's glare still held firm._

_He smirked as his next words were held on the tip of his tongue. "And I know Luke's here too."_

_Clem's expression faltered and turned into one of panic. It was one thing to know about the radios, but how could he have known about Luke? He had only found them with the one walkie talkie._

_He walked around her chair. His large boots thudding against the flooring with his slow pacing. "Now, you're going to tell me where he is."_

_"I don't know what you're talking about." Clem flatly told him. She folded her arms in protest and turned away from him._

_Carver sneered at her, not having the patience to deal with her attitude. He forcefully grabbed her by the arm and yanked her up out of the chair. "Don't lie! I already told you what happens if you do. Now tell me where he is."_

_"I don't know!" She yelled back at him._

_Carver let out a growl of frustration._ _"Liar!"_ _He raised a hand and brought it down, slapping her across the face. Then he bent her arm behind her back and pushed her down onto his desk trapping her there. Clem let out a cry of pain from the force of her arm being twisted the wrong way. Her cheek stung from the blow and her heart started to pick up in pace. This was escalating too quickly. He put more force on her, leaning down to talk into her ear. "I will find him one way or another. If I find him before you tell me... I will kill him."_

_Clem gulped out of nervousness. Was this really worth Luke's life or was Carver just telling her this to scare her into submission? She sent those thoughts away. She couldn't blow Luke's cover, he'd hurt him either way. It was better not to risk it._

_"Now I'll ask you one more time," Carver growled. "Tell me where he is!"_

_"No!" Clem tried to fight back. This had all happened before, this was just a dream she told herself, he couldn't hurt her...or Luke._

_"You fucking bitch." He yelled. He pulled her back up only to rais his arm and backhand her across the face._

_The force sent Clementine to the floor, a sharp pain shooting across her face. She brought a hand up to cup her cheek and hissed at the pain. She felt tears prick her eyes, but she wouldn't let them fall, not for him. She'd keep them at bay for as long as she could._

_She watched as Carver walked to his desk and pulled out a knife from one of his drawers. Her eyes widened and terror shot through her body as she saw him approach. Clementine whimpered, she wanted to get away from him but was paralyzed with fear._

_She tried to back up, but Carver grabbed her by the arm and yanked her to her feet._ _"Luke's life not enough for you? Then how 'bout your own?"_ _Before she could react he held her against his chest and pressed the knife to her throat. She felt her heart skip a beat, but she wasn't going to answer him. She bit her lip staying silent._

_Her body shuddered as she felt his hot breath on her neck, his words a whisper in her ear. "So you want to play that way do ya?" Carver pressed the knife harder. "Tell me where he is, honey"_

_She still refused to comply, staying silent. Seeing as this wasn't getting him anywhere, a wicked smile formed on his face. "Then maybe instead...will go after the girl."_

_Clem was confused at first. Girl? What girl? Did he mean Sarah?_

_"What was her name?... Violet" Carver said slowly allowing his words to sink in. "I'll kill her instead."_

_"N-No!" Clem struggled in his arms, panic setting in. She felt sick to her stomach as her heart pounded in her chest. This wasn't possible, he couldn't know about Violet. This was just a dream. She felt tears flood her eyes at the thought. "Don't...P-please!" She cried out, tears starting to fall freely._

_"Then tell me where he is!"_

_This man was a fucking psycho, he was going to kill her, and probably everyone she cared about whether she told him or not at this point._

_Clem felt the cold blade of the knife press into her neck followed by a sharp pain. She could tell the knife had drawn blood, feeling a slight trickle run down her throat._

_She gasped at the feeling, but the next words froze her in place. "You know, what? I think I'll have a little fun with her before I kill her. After all, can't let a beauty like her slip through my fingers." He smirked and lent down to whisper into her ear. "And what's stopping me? Nothing." He pressed the knife farther._

_Another whimper sounded through the girl's throat and she suddenly felt a warm liquid run down her legs._

* * *

Clem shot upright with tears running down the sides of her face. She took in huge gulps of air as she stared around the room, taking in her surroundings.

The sound of the wind against the boarded up window caused her to tense up, her body shuddered viciously. She could feel her heart pounding in her ears like a bass drum. She choked on another sob as she tried to stop the erratic rhythm of her heart, trying to slow her breaths. When she exhaled it came out as a sob, but she kept going.

The noise caused the blonde haired girl next to her to wake. Violet pushed herself up onto her elbows and peered at the girl through the darkness. "Clem?" She called sitting all the way up. "You, okay?"

Clem whimpered more. "No..."

"Did you have another nightmare?" Violet asked calmly.

"Y-yeah..." She said through her tears. "P-please don't hate me..." Clementine whimpered.

Violet frowned at that as her expression softened. "Clem, I'm not going to hate you for..."

"...I...I wet myself." Clem's voice shook through her tears.

Violet blinked in confusion, a bit taken aback by her words. "I...You...You had an accident?"

Clem nodded. "Y-yes..." Her face flushed with embarrassment. "I-I'm s-sorry. I'm so sorry, Vi. P-please don't hate me." She covered her face with her hands as she began to cry again. She couldn't look at Violet. She didn't want to see the disappointment in her eyes.

Violet took a moment to process what had just happened. She was a bit shocked, but the feeling quickly subsided at seeing the state that Clem was in. It broke her heart seeing Clem so terrified at the thought of Violet being upset with her. But Violet could never be mad at her, not for something out of her control.

She reached out a hand and rested it upon Clem's shoulder. She could feel Clem shudder every few seconds under her touch. Her whole body vibrating from how shaken up she was.

Without saying a word Violet pulled Clementine closer towards her with the hand already on her shoulder, and brought her into a hug, getting the younger girl to remove her hands from her face and wrap her arms around Violet's neck.

Clem still cried in Violet's arms, subconsciously gripping part of her shirt in a fist. Salty tears continuing to splash onto Violet's back and seep into her clothing. But she didn't care. All that mattered was trying to calm Clementine down. "Hey...It's okay." Violet said in a soft and calming voice. "Baby, it's okay...I'm not mad." She soothed.

Clem whimpered in protest. "Mm' sorry."

Violet hushed her. "It's not your fault, Clem. It wasn't your fault. It happens."

She continued to hold the girl in an embrace until she had calmed down a bit more. Then she slowly released Clem from the hug and got up, sliding out of bed. Clem let out a whine at the lack of contact. "It's okay. We just need to..uh...get you cleaned up first." Violet told her. "Do you have anything you can change into?" She asked the brunette, looking around the room.

Clem nodded and pointed to a dresser against the wall next to the closet. "In there."

Violet walked over an opened one of the drawers, trying not to be loud as to not wake AJ up. She found a pair of jeans that looked a lot like the ones Clem was wearing now and smiled at her success in finding new clothes.

She folded them up and walked back over to her girlfriend with them draped over her arm. She held out a hand for Clem to take.

Clem hesitantly took her hand and pulled the blanket off of herself. With shaky legs, she stepped onto the floor. Her face reddened with embarrassment at having her soiled clothes exposed, but Violet didn't seem to care in the slightest as she led Clem out of the bedroom and down the hall to the upstairs bathroom.

Violet entered the bathroom and set Clem's clothes on the sink's counter. then she rummaged through a cabinet until she came across a rag. She placed it on the countertop then turned to Clementine. "Wait right here."

She turned to leave but was stopped by a pull of her arm. "No, please don't leave!" Clem begged her.

Violet gave her an encouraging smile. "It's okay, I'll be right back. I just have to grab something."

Clem reluctantly let her leave after Violet pried her hands off her.

Violet ran downstairs and grabbed one of the canteens that they had filed up a few days ago. Then headed back upstairs to where Clem was. She set it down on the counter, then picked up the washcloth. Opening the bottle she wet the rag and presented it to her girlfriend. "Here, Clem. You can use this to clean up."

Clem shook her head. "I-I can't..." She stuttered taking a step back.

"Yes, you can. It's okay..." Violet bit her lip in indecision before asking, "Do...Do you want me to help...?"

She placed a hand on Clementine's shoulder. The girl's eyes widened and she immediately panicked. "No! Stop!" Clem backed up away from Violet's hand until she hit the wall. "Please stop! Don't...don't touch me!" She started shaking again and sank down the wall pulling her knees up to her chest.

Violet knew that look. It was the same one she wore that night they spent in the hallway. Clem was having another panic attack, lost to the outside world again. Violet bit her lip not quite sure what to do. She was almost convinced to go and get Luke but figured he needed the rest, so it'd be better to handle this herself. She just needed to keep Clem from waking the whole house with her panicked cries.

It was so weird how Clem's mind could just totally flip on her. She was no longer a hardened survivor, but someone who was slowly being beaten and trampled on by her feelings. It was like someone had kicked over her box of emotions, merging her thoughts so she could no longer tell what was real. She couldn't even begin to comprehend what Clem was feeling. She'd created her own cell of pain and terror but had forgotten to put in a route of escape. She needed someone like Violet who truly cared about her to bring her out of the alleged darkness that was her own mind.

Violet got down on her knees so she was level with the frightened girl. "Clem...It's okay...It's me, Violet." She went to reach out her hand, but it still frightened the brunette.

Clem recoiled back. "No, don't!" She yelled.

Violet winced at the volume as it echoed off the bathroom walls. She hoped no one had heard it. She tried to quiet the girl. "Shhh, Clem, it's alright...It-it's just me."

Clem shook her head. "No! He...he said he'd hurt you! He was gonna hurt b-both of you!"

Violet gave her a confused look. "Who did?"

"C-Carver." Clem stuttered. "He said he'd h-hurt you, an...and he was gonna k-kill Luke." Tears started to build in her eyes. "He-he hurt me!"

Ah! So this was a Luke thing.  _"Dammit."_ Violet inwardly swore. Luke almost getting bit had bothered her more than she had let on. She'd have to make sure she didn't let Clem off so easily next time. Now she was suffering from nightmares because of it.

Violet didn't know who the hell Carver was, only that he had taken Clem and Luke's group hostage, but she assumed he was the cause of Clem's nightmare. It angered her that one guy could cause so much torment to a little girl. He was lucky he was dead because if they were to ever run into him alive, Violet wouldn't hesitate to kill him. But she pushed that feeling aside, she needed to focus on Clem.

"Clem, it's okay. No one's going to hurt me or Luke." Violet reassured her. She moved a bit closer towards her, but stopped once she heard Clementine whimper. "It's alright, babe. I'm here."

Violet kept whispering calming words until she was able to move and sit next to the younger girl. Clem didn't resist when she felt Violet gently grasp her hand. Seeing no negative reaction, Violet took the chance and brought Clem in for another hug. She felt Clem tense at her touch but she didn't pull away.

After a moment Clem seemed to snap out of whatever trance she was in and let herself relax into Violet's embrace. Violet felt Clem's hold on her tighten and a damp feeling on her shirt told her Clem's tears had started up again. "It's okay, I'm here. I've got you." She said as she rubbed the younger girl's back.

Clem felt her fear diminish and guilt started to take over. "I'm sorry." She said over Violet's shoulder. "I didn't mean..."

"Don't," Violet told her, slightly shaking her head. "Just, don't... It wasn't your fault, okay."

Violet pulled away after a moment. "Now, I need you to get cleaned up, okay? Do you think you can do that for me?" She asked gently.

Clem nodded without saying a word, too embarrassed to meet the blonde's gaze.

Violet stood and helped the younger of the two to her feet. "Okay... I'll go wait in the hall for you."

Clem nodded as Violet left the room shutting the door behind her.

* * *

Clem emerged from the bathroom once she had changed into her new clothes. She noticed Violet leaning against the wall with her arms folded. The blonde smiled once she noticed Clem's presence. "Come on, let's go get some sleep." She grabbed Clem's hand and led her back to the bedroom.

Once there Violet realized they still had the sheets to deal with. Not wanting to embarrass her girlfriend anymore, without saying a word she stripped the bed and placed the bedding in a pile next to the door. They'ed deal with it later. Then she went over to the closet and pulled out a large blanket that they could use for the night and placed it on the bed.

Violet sat on the edge of the bed hoping Clem would join her, but the girl seemed frozen to her spot by the door. "What's the matter, Clem?"

Clem rubbed her arm bashfully. "Violet...Am...am I in trouble?"

To say Violet was stunned by her words was an understatement. Why the hell would Clem ask her something like that? It was such a bizarre question. Did Clem think Violet was going to punish her like a parent would a child for bad behavior? Her mouth opened and shut twice before she could answer. She was kind of at a loss for words. "Er...um...N-no, Clem. It, it's fine. I already told you, it happens. I...I'm not mad."

Clem didn't seem satisfied with her answer. "Well, you should be...I-I'd hate me." Her gaze drifted to the floor.

Violet shook her head. "Clem don't say that..."

"It's true," Clem retaliated. "All I do is make things harder on you." She felt her eyes tearing up again.

"Clem it's okay..."

" _No_ , it's not! I-I just wet the bed like a fucking five-year-old. God...!" Clem ran a hand through her hair in frustration.

Violet could see the glint of tears upon her face from the moonlight that filtered in through the cracks of the boarded up window. Clem was blaming herself again. Violet guessed it was from her not wanting to be a burden on anyone. Clem always pushed herself to be strong, but it was times like this where she couldn't help but crumble because there was no obstacle to overcome to distract herself with. Violet needed to do something or Clem would slip into panic mode again.

She stood up and walked over towards the brunette. She placed her hands on Clem's shoulders gripping them slightly. "Clem? Clementine..."

"What!?" Clem yelled through her tears.

Violet pulled her closer and connected their lips in a kiss. It only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough to show Clementine that she really did care and bring her back to her senses. Violet could see the fight in her eyes leave. Wow, She was getting good at this, she'd have to start taking notes. She shook those thoughts away, she needed to leave the stupid jokes to Louis.

"You told me that it was okay to miss the people that I cared about...So listen to me when I tell you...that everything that happened, is okay." She looked into Clem's amber eyes. "I don't care if I have to do this every night. I'll stay up with you for as long as it takes."

Violet wrapped her arms around Clem's neck and rested her head on her shoulder. "I really care about you, Clem. A couple of nightmares aren't going to change that."

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she felt Clem's arms wrap around her. "I love you too, Vi."

Violet pulled back enough so she could kiss Clem once more. "Just promise you'll start telling me when somethings bothering you. Will get through this..." She intertwined their fingers. "...together."

"Okay," Clem whispered reluctantly.

Violet gave her a smile and turned to leave, but Clem held onto her hand. "Vi..." Her voice cracked. "I'm sorry."

"I am too," Violet told her.

Clem gave her a slight smile. "You know...You're really good at this."

Violet let a small chuckle escape her. If only Clem could read her mind. "Well, I've had some practice." She said as she walked over and sat back on the edge of the bed.

"What do you mean?" Clem asked following her this time.

"I...um..." She looked more towards the ground than up at Clem. "When...When we first thought that Tenn's sisters were...uh, killed by walkers, Tenn...he...um" She cleared her throat. "He used to wet the bed when...when he would have nightmares about it." Violet rubbed the back of her neck. "I-I made it my job to look out for him, ya know. Looking back on it, I'm not sure I did that great of a job." She admitted.

Clem sent her a smile. "Well, Tenn sure seemed happy when you found him. I don't think he'd run up and hug someone he didn't care about."

Violet smiled back at her reassuring words. "Yeah, I guess your right." Then she saw Clem try to suppress a yawn. "We should get some sleep."

Clem didn't favor the idea of going back to bed, but reluctantly complied with Violet and laid down.

Violet took notice of how Clem had moved all the way towards the wall then realized the reason. She turned on her side and braced herself up with an arm. "If your afraid of it happening again, I don't mind."

Clem bit her lip. She hesitated, but she felt exhausted and really wanted Violet to cuddle her. Ultimately she gave in and moved closer to the blonde. Violet responded by wrapping an arm around her and Clem curled into her side. "God, I don't deserve you," Clem said which got Violet to laugh.

"Yeah, who's the one that saved me and Louis and helped me get my brother's picture back." She kissed the top of Clem's head. "It's you I don't deserve."

"Yeah, whatever," Clem mumbled into the crook of Violet's neck. She felt too tired to argue. "Vi?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you...for all of it," Clem said.

Violet grinned. "Always."

* * *

By the time Clem and Violet woke up the next morning AJ had already woken and left the room. "You okay?" Violet asked as she sat next to Clem on the bed.

Clem nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay." She bit the inside of her cheek in irresolution as she readied herself for what she was about to say. "Can we... _not_ , tell everyone what happened last night?"

"Yeah, of course," Violet told her. She gave her a look of concern. "You're sure your alright?"

"No," Clem told her, then paused as she realized what she just said. "I mean yes! Yes! I'm...shit...I'm fine. I-I'm just tired." She said the last part rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

Violet giggled. "Let's go." She opened the door for Clem. "Your such a dork." She said to her.

Clem was about to retaliate when someone else beat her to it. "Morning Clem, Violet." She heard Luke say.

He came out of his room just as they were headed out of theirs. Luke now had on a gray sweatshirt that covered his bandaged arm instead of the orange longsleeved shirt Clem had always known him for. "G'dmorning Luke."

"You doin' alright?" He asked casually.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" She asked.

"Just makin' sure. I thought I might've heard you yell last night." He said as they walked towards the kitchen. "But I'm pretty sure it was a dream."

Violet could see Clem tense up at Luke's words. She grabbed her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Y-yeah. Probably the dream." Clem tried to play it off. She gave Violet one back before they separated.

Luke shrugged it off as they entered the kitchen. He seemed in a pretty good mood for being injured and almost getting killed last night. Clem noticed how the boys were already gathered at the kitchen table, Tenn had a notebook and pencil again with AJ hovering over his shoulder while also listening to Louis rant off some story or something. She thought it was funny really. It had just sort of become a daily occurrence that they all gathered at the kitchen table before they started whatever work they had to do that day. Not that she was complaining. It was nice having this many people around who actually got along with one another for once in her life.

Luke took a seat at the table across from Louis. Clem and Violet next to each other. "So," He started. "You guys are gonna hafta' fill me in on what happened. We didn't really get a chance to talk with what happened. I see you brought back someone new." He nodded over to the younger boy that he hadn't met yet. "Name's Luke." He introduced.

Louis spoke up for him since Tenn didn't seem to keen on introducing himself. "This here is Tennessee. Tenn for short." He put a hand on the boy's shoulder. "He was with us at the school. He, uh doesn't talk much."

Violet scoffed while folding her arms. "Louis does enough of that to cover both of them."

"Hey!" Louis said.

Tenn gave her a smile and AJ giggled at her remark. "He's my new friend," AJ told Luke.

Luke smiled at that, glad AJ had someone more suitable to his age even if Tenn was still clearly older. "Glad to have you with us kid."

Tenn smiled at Luke's remark.

"So what'd you get while you were out?" Luke asked, not having seen all the supplies since he had been ordered to rest after he was patched up.

"Lot's of stuff!" AJ exclaimed using his hands to emphasize his statement.

"That town we hit was pretty cleared out this time around," Clem explained. "But we managed a trip to the school and we were able to grab what was left. That's where we met Tenn."

"Yeah, he's really good at drawing!" AJ put in.

Luke chuckled at AJ's enthusiasm. "Well, I'd love to see some of your work sometime."

Tenn seemed to like that idea. "Sure."

Clem looked over at Violet who sent her a slight smile before turning her attention back to AJ and Luke's conversation with Tenn, Louis butting in every now and then. Clem wore a genuine smile on her face. She figured Luke would get along with Tenn and she was even more glad that AJ had found a new interest. It couldn't have worked out better.

* * *

Clem smiled as she listened to Louis tell stories about their time at Ericson's. Luke laughing about someone chasing the staff around with a barbeque fork or something. She wasn't fully paying attention as she ate what was left inside the can of food she had in her hand.

Setting it down, she took notice of AJ somewhat staring at her. She raised an eyebrow at his intentions, prompting him to ask what was on his mind. "Clem?"

"Yeah, kiddo?" She asked.

She watched as AJ fiddled with his hands like he was nervous to ask her. He seemed to battle with himself on whether or not he should ask, a war going on in his head. But curiosity got the better of him. "Umm...Did...did you wet the bed last night?"

Her eyes widened at his words. Clem froze in place, her body hardening like concrete as the air left her lungs. She took notice of how quiet the room had gotten as the sound of her ever quickening heartbeat thundered in her ears. She could feel Violet's eyes on her judging what her reaction would be. She could feel everyone's eyes on her, but Violet mattered the most since she already knew.

Without a response, AJ decided to clarify himself. "I saw the sheets on the floor an-and I heard you guys talking. Was...was it another nightmare?" He asked sounding a bit worried.

She felt heat rise to the back of her neck. Clem abruptly pushed her chair back and briskly walked out of the room as she felt tears creeping up on her, her face bright red from embarrassment.

"Clem, wait!" Violet tried to stop her, but she was already running towards the front door. She heard the door slam a few seconds later.

Violet looked around at the table. Her eyes locking with Louis as he sent her a confused yet worried look. He mouthed the words  _What's going on_ to her.

She silently mouthed a _Not now_ to him.

Louis took the hint and turned to Tenn. "Hey, Tenn. Come with me for a minute. I need help with something." He asked standing up and heading towards the stairs. Tenn didn't protest and followed him, feeling the tension in the room. He wasn't quite sure what was going on but wasn't about to ask.

Violet turned her attention to AJ as he spoke up. "Did I say something wrong?"

"That's not something you should have said AJ," Violet told him, arms folded. "Especially not in front of everyone." Her gaze was firm, but not threatening. She wasn't mad at him, just maybe a bit disappointed. Yet again, AJ wasn't used to being around people. He probably didn't know any better.

AJ lowered his head apologetically. "I-I was just worried about Clem. I-I w-wanted to make sure if she was okay."

Luke tried to lend some guidance. "That's great and all buddy, but Violet's right. That wasn't fair to Clem for you to bring something like that up."

"I'm sorry," AJ told him. "Sh-should I go apologize?"

"In a bit," Luke told him. He glanced at Violet and she faintly nodded in response. Luke stood from his chair. "Let me go talk to her first."

* * *

Luke walked out onto the porch, the glare from the sun blinding him at first. Once his eyes adjusted he walked out into the yard and looked around. He didn't see her anywhere so he called out her name. "Clem?! Come on back inside." A rush of wind caused him to shiver. "It's cold out here!"

Even with the sun helping to warm him up, the temperature was still dropping as they advanced towards winter. Luke guessed they were probably into November by now, judging by how he could see his breath each time he opened his mouth to speak. Not too many more warm days ahead of them.

He maneuvered around some of the walker bodies that had been killed from last night, as he walked the perimeter of the house. They'ed have to remove them today. "Clem?!" He called again, his breath a puff of white air. He rounded the back of the house. It wasn't like her to wander off. He figured she'd probably be sitting on the front porch when he came out, but she hadn't been there. "Clem? Clementine!" He yelled out starting to get nervous, his heart rate accelerating. He couldn't lose Clem, not after everything they've been through. He needed to find her. If she wasn't here, she had either been way more upset than he had thought or someone had taken her.

Not seeing any sign of her he started to jog back to the porch. "Violet! Louis!" He yelled for them as he walked back through the door.

"What's up?" Louis asked from the stairs as Violet walked into the living room from the kitchen.

"Clem's gone."

* * *

Clem slammed the front door behind her and took off at a run into the woods. She didn't want to be there anymore, not after what AJ had done. God, if AJ knew that, what else had he overheard? Everyone was going to either laugh at her or be mad at her. Why would he say that in front of Tenn and Louis? What were they going to think of her now? Violet already knew and she didn't mind Luke knowing, except now he knew that she had lied to him about her saying she had been alright.

She didn't care how much noise she made, as the leaves under her feet crinkled and rustled every time she took a step, or the fact of how cold it was outside. She just kept running. She didn't know for how far or how long, she didn't even realize that she didn't have a weapon. All that mattered was that she kept moving forward. Anything to preoccupy her mind from invasive thoughts.

Her lugs started to burn from pushing herself and the fact that she was breathing in cold air, but she kept going. The only thing that was becoming a nuisance where the tears filling her eyes. She tried to wipe them away with her sleeve, but they wouldn't stop. Her watery eyes turned her vision blurry. The trees and plant life around her becoming nothing more than disfigured blobs. With the ground nothing more than a hazy blur she failed to notice the uplifted roots of a tree. Her foot caught it and she tumbled to the ground with a cry of alarm, sliding down the slight incline of a hill.

She fell and felt a jarring pain in the back of her head when she landed. Her vision blurred for the second time and she felt darkness overcome her sight. Her eyes blinked open a few seconds later and she could hear the sounds of groaning and snarls. Some shadowy figures limping their way towards her crumpled figure. No doubt walkers being drawn by her scream when she fell.

Her eyes fell shut again only to open once more to a group of walkers starting to close in on her. She couldn't move, couldn't call out for help. Her head hurt and her body was too exhausted to comply, but she could sense the presence of something behind her as well. The last thing she felt before her mind went totally dark, was the feeling of someone picking her up in their arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so a lot went on in this chapter. Clem's nightmare, Violet trying to comfort her, Luke meeting Tenn, AJ blowing Clem's secret, and Clem running away and getting knocked unconscious. Probably the longest chapter we're going to have.  
> I can't tell you how nervous I've been, waiting to post this and seeing how people will react to it. There's been a lot of hype on what could go wrong this chapter, and I hope you guys aren't disappointed.  
> But I do want to know, who do you think picked Clem up and possibly rescued her? We won't know till next chapter and I won't be giving it away, but I'd like to know what you guys think. ;)
> 
> Really hope you guys liked this chapter!
> 
> Secret Life of Writing Out! :)


	20. First Big Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even going to say anything. Just read it. :(

Darkness.

That's all she could see.

And all she could feel was a dull pain at the back of her head. Just a numbing pain and darkness. There were voices there too. A few she recognized, but one completely different. But the voices weren't always clear, they were muffled and distant. It reminded her of the white noise that fills your ears after you've submerged your head underwater. To be honest the whole experience just reminded her of drowning, except she could still breathe. At least that was a plus.

She still wasn't quite sure what was going on though. All she knew for sure was that someone had picked her up and was now carrying her. She couldn't see, didn't remember what had happened, and the words she  _could_  make out were...confusing.

"It's all right, Clem. I've got you."

...

"What the hell did you do to her!?"

...

"They don't come this far West."

...

"Louis! Over here!"

...

"Your friend is hurt."

...

"You have to tell me what the hell has been going on!"

...

"Well, I appreciate the help. Thank You."

...

Ugh! Why couldn't she stay conscious enough to know what the hell was going on? She was pretty sure most of what she heard wasn't in order, but her thoughts were a maze of dead-end clues and the throbbing pain at the back of her head wasn't helping.

That last thing she could make out before she completely blacked out again was, "Don't disappear on me again, okay?" She knew that voice, she knew that saying. Violet, it was Violet.

* * *

Clem squeezed her eyes shut the moment she opened them as she was met with the bright light of day. She moved to push herself up onto her elbows but felt a jarring pain shoot through her head. She groaned in protest and put a hand to her forehead. She could also feel the pressure of something wrapped around her head. Probably bandages for what she assumed was a head injury that she had gotten, though she still couldn't recall how.

The noise she made must have alerted someone that she was awake because the next thing she knew she was shoved back down as someone forcefully hugged her. "Oh thank god! Jesus, you scared me!"

She knew that voice, so she hugged back, more or less since this person was practically on top of her. And was she laying on... the coffee table?

Clem tried to open her eyes again but had to block out the light with her hand until her eyes adjusted. "Vi...?" She called out as she felt the pressure of the other girl's weight leave her. She forced herself up into a sitting position using her arms to hold her up.

She grunted in discomfort again as another wave of pain shot through her head. She lifted her hand up and touched the side of her head where she felt the bandages become soft and damp. Blood. She must have hit her head on something.

"Here take this." Said a voice as the familiar blonde came into view. Violet sat on the couch in front of her and handed her a cup of water and what she assumed was pain medication.

"Mmh'...thanks," Clem said before downing the water, not realizing how thirsty she was.

"What...what happened?" She asked setting the cup aside taking notice that she was, in fact, sitting on the coffee table.

"You-you don't remember?" Violet asked seeming surprised.

Clem took a minute to rethink about what had really happened. She looked at Violet and could tell the girl was worried about her, but behind that, she could tell Violet was also somewhat mad at her, either that or really disappointed about something. She could see it in her eyes, but she also kind of looked like she could start crying at any minute. What had she done now?

Okay, she remembered someone picking her up, probably because she had been injured. And she had been injured when...when she had fallen! Right! And she had fallen because...because...because she was running, and while she was running she had tripped. Okay. So, why was she running?

She had slammed the door behind her and jumped off the porch and started running because of...what AJ had said in front of everyone. Just then thoughts from last night flooded through her head. She remembered, all of it. Up until she had blacked out.

"Oh..." Was all that came out in an ashamed voice as Clem realized the danger she had put herself in.

"Yeah, oh!" Violet snapped at her standing up, clearly upset over what happened. "Clem, do you realize how scared we all were? How scared _I_  was? Do you have any idea how close you were to almost dying?" Violet was starting to yell. She wasn't trying to yell at Clem, but her emotions from how scared she had been, were forcing their way out through any form they could take. "Look, I know you were upset, but Jesus, Clem! You can't just take off like that! That's  _not_  okay!"

Clem winced at Violet's tone. She'd never talked to her like that, but she probably deserved it after everything she had put Violet through. Sometimes she actually wondered why Violet even stayed with her. All she did was cause her problems. Everything was just so fucked up right now and it was getting to be too much for the younger girl. She couldn't take it and before she could stop her self she lashed out.

She stood so she was level with Violet ignoring the splitting pain the jolted through her head at the sudden movement. "Do you think I planned to crash in the middle of the forest? That I planned to crack my head open and render myself useless in a walker-infested forest!"

"I thought you'd have enough common sense not to run away!" Violet yelled back.

"I didn't plan on running away! I only did because AJ went and told everyone all of my Godamn secrets!" Clem explained. She could feel tears creeping up on her again. Didn't Violet understand how she felt, how all of that made her feel?

"So what? Every time something goes wrong are you just going to run away now?" Violet crossed her arms. "You didn't even have a fucking weapon!"

This is not how Clem had expected things to go, but her emotions had already been put into overdrive. Instead of talking Violet down all she was doing was adding fuel to the fire.

"Do you have any idea what it's like for me to live like this! What it's like to not get any sleep because I can't go two fucking hours without having a damn nightmare!" Clem felt hot tears start to run down the sides of her face. "And then wake up not even knowing if what's going on around me is even fucking real! Not recognizing the people around me or knowing if they're going to hurt me or not! What it's like to be tormented again and again by the people I've lost, by people who have hurt me!"

"Yeah, you told me you tried to kill yourself because of it! Is that what this was? Another chance at that?" Violet snapped back but immediately regretted it as soon as it left her mouth. She had taken it too far. She saw Clem's anger falter for a second and be replaced by hurt. "Clem, wait! I..."

"You-you don't have the right...You..." Clem clenched her fist tighter, her hands shaking from the fire burning within. Her head felt like it was ready to explode, her yelling not helping the pain. "Goddammit, Violet! I didn't go on a fucking suicide mission! You...You have no idea how I feel! I don't choose when I get to have a fucking panic attack! Is that what this is to you? A game where you can play with my emotions! Because I don't find it funny. The only time I ever feel alive anymore is when I'm out there surviving or when I'm with you!"

Violet was surprised at that last comment. Even Clem was surprised she had said it after the words had finally fallen from her lips.

Violet started to feel guilty. Why were they even fighting? She shouldn't have taken her anger out on Clem. God, if anyone knew how Clem felt, what  _she_  went through, it was Violet. She never meant to make Clem feel like this. She understood  _why_  she had run away, even if it was a poor lack of judgment. They especially shouldn't be fighting after Clem just woke up from being unconscious from a head injury.

"Clem, I..." That was all Violet could bring herself to say. She didn't know how to fix this. She'd really fucked up this time.

She always knew how to bring Clem down from her highs and lows. But this time Violet was the cause of it.  _"Shit."_ She inwardly swore. She was never good at expressing her feelings. Only anger when she'd lash out at people, but that's what just got her into this mess. She was useless with words.

The anger was starting to recede from Clem leaving sadness in its wake as her tears started to take over more and more. "Why...why do you even stay... when everything I do... just makes things worse for you?" She genuinely asked. Clem sat back down on the table, the fight leaving her. She rubbed some tears from her eye. "I'm that much of a disappointment, that you hate me now too." She cried into her hands.

That was hard to hear. Violet practically stopped breathing once she heard that, her mouth hung open in shock. "God, Clem! No!" She moved and sat next to her girlfriend. "Oh my god, babe, no. No, I don't hate you." Violet could feel her own tears threatening to spill. God, what had she done?

"It's fine if you do. It's just like last night. I know you hate me...because I do." Clem whimpered.

"No, Clem. I don't. I could never!" Violet told her. She reached over and pulled Clem's hands from her face but it didn't stop the tears from flowing from the younger girl's eyes.

Violet was hesitant, not sure if Clem wanted her touch, but she decided to try anyway. Violet adjusted her position and pulled Clementine closer to her so her chest was flush against Clem's back. Clem didn't move to object Violet's touch, but she didn't exactly embrace it either. Violet made one last move and wrapped an arm around Clem's waist and rested her chin on her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Clementine. I didn't mean any of what I said. I should have never of been mad in the first place. I was just..." Violet squeezed her eyes shut in frustration. "God, when Luke came in and said you were gone...I-I was so fucking scared I had lost you." Violet cleared her throat, her emotions getting the best of her. "I understand why you ran away. I'm somewhat mad at AJ for what he did, but I get that he probably didn't know any better."

Violet felt a few tears slowly slide down her face. "If anything worse had happened to you, I don't know what I would have done. I was never mad at you. If anything... I-I blame myself for what happened. I'm just thankful you're still alive." She buried her face into Clem's shoulder. "I love you."

It took a minute but Violet felt Clem place her hand over the one that was wrapped around her waist. "I love you too." Clem barely said over a whisper.

Violet lifted her head up. "What was that, babe?"

Clem turned around and flung her arms around the blonde. "I love you." Clem cried as she squeezed Violet tighter. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

Violet hugged back. "I'm sorry too. But it's okay, we're all okay now. Everythings gonna be fine." She brought a hand to her own face and brushed the tears away.

Clem was reluctant to let go of the older girl. "Does this mean you still want to stay with me?"

Violet pulled back and placed her hands on Clem's shoulders so she could look at her. "Of course, Clem. Just because we fought doesn't mean I didn't love you anymore. Nothing will ever change that." She pulled her back into her arms. "Your the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Clem cuddled up to Violet's chest. "That's what I'm supposed to say."

Violet couldn't help but giggle at her words and smiled when she heard Clem chuckle as well. "So how's your head?" She asked.

Clem could still feel the numbing pain that seemed to constantly linger, but there was no longer the throbbing pulse that would shoot through her head every so often. "Better than it was. I no longer feel the shooting pain that I did when I was unconscious."

Violet looked at the bandage that was wrapped around Clem's head, the right side of it a dull red from where it had soaked up most of the blood.

"That's good." Violet reached up and fingered the wrapping trying to remember all the things she had learned from Ruby. "We got the bleeding to stop. You hit your head pretty hard, but it wasn't a large enough gash to require stitching. Thank god." She touched the spot where the wound was, a little too hard, and heard Clem hiss in pain. "Sorry." She apologized.

Clem pulled her hand away trying to get Violet to stop fiddling with it. "So what exactly happened while I was out?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this whole fight scene wasn't even supposed to be in this story, but I started writing and stuff happened. This chapter went in a completely different direction than what I had originally planned, but the more I kept writing their argument the more I seemed to like it.  
> I think my own emotions kind of took over. I've been going through a rough time lately and writing always seems to help get my frustrations out.
> 
> And don't worry, next chapter we will find out what happened after Clem blacked out and find out about her "mystery rescuer". It was supposed to be this chapter but apparently, my mind had other plans.  
> Hope you guys liked this!
> 
> Secret Life of Writing Out! :)


	21. While I Got Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So completing this chapter is my birthday present to myself. :D  
> It ended up being way longer than I thought it would be, so hope you enjoy it! :)

"So what exactly happened while I was out?"

Violet sighed at Clem's questioning. It wasn't exactly a happy experience that occurred earlier this morning. Sure it was a relief to have Clem back and to know that she was going to be okay, but getting there wasn't very lighthearted.

"Er..um...we almost killed a guy who was actually trying to help you."

Clem's eyes widened. "You did what?!"

Violet chuckled at Clem's expression. "I'm kidding." She laughed. "Well, mostly kidding." She said quieter hoping Clem didn't hear.

"It's a long story, but if you really want to know what happened..."

* * *

_Not seeing any sign of her Luke started to jog back to the porch. "Violet! Louis!" He yelled for them as he walked back through the door._

_"What's up?" Louis asked from the stairs as Violet walked into the living room from the kitchen._

_"Clem's gone."_

_Violet immediately got defensive. "Gone? What do you mean gone?" She crossed her arms._

_"I mean gone. She's not in the front yard, she's not anywhere. I checked everywhere." Luke told them._

_Louis came down from the stairs with Tenn trailing behind. "Maybe you just missed her. We can look again."_

_Luke shook his head. "No, somethings wrong. I know it is. Clem doesn't just take off like that." He ran a hand through his hair. "I searched for ten minutes without a trace from her. We have to go find her. Grab anything you need." With that, he walked past the teens and up the stairs to get his machete and anything they might need to rescue Clem. Who knows how long they could be gone._

_Violet was trying to process what Luke was saying to them. Clem was gone? How could she be gone? If anything Violet thought Clem would have ran outside to be alone for a minute, but not actually run away. What was she thinking?_

_Unless Clem didn't run away and was...taken away. The Raiders._

_"Shit," Violet swore. She ran a hand through her hair much like how Luke did. "Fuck." She started to pace back and forth. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." She really wanted to punch the wall right now. But she assumed Luke wouldn't be too happy with a large hole going through the drywall._

_Louis approached and tried to calm her down. "Vi, relax. Everything is going to be fine." He reached out to place a had on her shoulder._

_Violet glared at him and quite violently pushed his hand away. "Don't tell me to calm down! Fuck, Louis. My girlfriend is who the hell knows where, and you want me to calm down!?"_

_"Violet, please, this isn't going to help find Clem." Louis tried to reason with her. He was just as worried as the rest of them and still really confused about what had exactly happened during breakfast._

_Violet rubbed her face with her hands in frustration. "Ughhh! I know. I just..." She looked at Louis than at the front door, before deciding to stare more so at the floor. "Dammit! I-I should of followed her, should have gone after her. Shit, It's my fault." Violet felt like she wanted to cry. How could she have been so stupid? She should have never allowed Clem to go off on her own._

_"Vi, it's not your fault. None of us knew this was going to happen." He tried to reassure her._

_"I know Lou, but...the raiders. What if...what if they followed us this far. If they're still out there what if she..." Violet couldn't bring herself to finish that sentence. She had already lost too many people. She wasn't about to lose Clementine too._

_"We have to find her. Come on!" Violet turned around to go grab her knife from the kitchen when she came face to face with AJ._ _She instinctively glared at him._

_"It-it's my fault isn't it?" He somewhat asked her._

_Violet's gaze softened. "What?"_

_AJ looked to the floor ashamed. "It's my fault that Clem ran away. She probably hates me now."_

_Violet knelt down to his level. "No AJ, Clem doesn't hate you. She just..." Violet sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Look, you shouldn't have said something like that in front of everyone. It wasn't right to bring up something so personal in front of other people, but..."_

_"But you knew." He told her._

_Violet nodded. "I did know. But no one else did and Clem didn't want them to know. She was embarrassed and scared that everyone would hate her if they found out."_

_"But no one hates her!" AJ tried to justify. "I don't!"_

_"I know that, but Clem doesn't." Violet sighed for what felt like the tenth time that morning. She really wasn't mad at AJ, just frustrated that this had happened in the first place. "Look, some things just aren't meant to be shared with other people, and it's best to just not say anything at all. I know that can be confusing, but sometimes you have to think about how what you say will make other people feel."_

_AJ thought about it for a minute processing what Violet had told him. "And what I said made Clem sad?"_

_"Ugh...in a way, yes." Said Violet._

_"Okay... I think I get it. I'll try not to say things that'll make Clem sad anymore." AJ told the blonde, a look of determination taking over his face. "And I'll make sure to apologize once we get Clem back."_

_Violet smiled slightly. "Good." She stood back up and went to grab her cleaver._

_"Are we going to rescue Clem now?" He asked Violet once she re-entered the living room, Louis reappearing too after going to grab Chairles for their mission._

_"Me, Louis, and Luke are. I need you and Tenn to stay here in case Clem comes back. Can you guys do that for us?" Violet asked._

_AJ nodded. "I'll grab my gun." He said as he ran off._

_Violet then turned to Tenn. "You going to be all right."_

_Tenn nodded before he came up and hugged her. "Stay safe out there."_

_Violet smiled as she hugged back. "We will."_

_She let him go and turned to Louis. "Let's look around a bit while we wait for Luke."_

_Louis nodded and hoisted Chairles onto his shoulder as he and Vi walked out the front door._

_Once alone Louis decided to speak up. "So what exactly happened earlier?"_

_"What do you mean?" Violet asked looking around not really keen on talking with Louis._

_"I mean with Clem. Is everything okay?" He asked concerned for the well being of his friend._

_"Louis, I don't really want to talk about it right now. Can we just find Clem for right now?" Violet said annoyed._

_Louis gave Violet a glare before agreeing. "Fine, but you have to tell me something sooner or later." Then he walked away to go check around the back of the house again._

_Violet rolled her eyes but didn't say anything. She knew Louis was just being caring and wanted to know what had been going on with Clem, but for some reason, it was just really ticking her off right now. She assumed she was just too worried about Clem to bother with answering Louis. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't sick with anxiety just thinking about what could have happened to the brunette. What if the raiders really had captured her and were torturing her trying to turn her into one of their soldiers, or worse._

_Violet felt her stomach twist at the thought. She couldn't lose Clem, she just couldn't. She tried to distract herself as she walked around the yard, stepping over the numerous walker bodies that now littered the ground. Damn, how many of these things did we put down? She thought as she observed each puncture wound that accompanied each skull._

_She looked up for a second but had to do a double take when something caught her eye. Something moving in the forest. It looked like a walker, but it was still too far away to tell, and was it...carrying something? As far as Violet knew walkers didn't carry things. Just the clothes on their backs, that is if they had any anymore._

_Violet didn't move but continued to stare at the form moving closer towards the clearing. It seemed to be moving faster than any walker she had encountered before and it seemed to be actually walking not limping like they usually did._

_"What the hell?" She quietly said to herself. She watched as the figure approached, posture straight instead of hunched over and it made no noise except for the occasional snap of a twig under its foot. It was only about a hundred yards away now and she could tell it was carrying a body, but couldn't make out the person quite yet._

_A minute later they were close enough for Violet to put the pieces together. Denim jacket, light green pants, dark curly hair, but what really gave it away was the blue and white baseball cap that was clasped in his hand that was hooked under her knees. He was carrying Clem._

_"Louis! Over here!" Violet shouted to him, not taking her eyes off of the stranger as she pulled out her meat cleaver._

_She saw him stop right at the edge of the forest where it met the clearing that formed the front yard of the cabin. Violet was a good five yards away, keeping her distance in case he tried anything. He didn't do anything except star back at Violet as he held the unmoving girl in his arms. She observed his appearance. It was definitely a human, but he was wearing a mask of some sort. Was that walker skin? It made her skin crawl just thinking about it._

_Violet was distracted by her thoughts as she heard Louis run up from behind her. "What...what's going on? What is..." He stopped as he realized the presence of the stranger. "What the hell?" Louis was as shocked as Violet was. "Who are you?" He asked._

_The stranger slowly took off his walker mask being careful not to drop the girl in the process, revealing his black hair that was slightly shorter than Violet's. He looked to be about their age in comparison._

_"I..."_

_He didn't get to finish as Violet noticed a bright red color drip from his arm where Clem's head rested. In fact, his sleeve was covered in it from what Violet could tell. It was blood, Clem's blood._

_Violet's grip tightened around her cleaver. She was outraged that this guy had injured her somehow. "What the hell did you do to her!?" She went to take a step forward ready to sink her blade into this guys skull, but Louis grabbed her by the arms before she could lash out._

_"Whoa, easy Vi. Hold on let him explain." Louis said as he wrestled Violet into submission._

_The boy took a tentative step back until Louis had restrained the mad blonde girl. "Please, I mean no harm." He said in a quiet voice. "Your friend is hurt."_

_"Yeah, you're the one who hurt her!" Violet accused, clearly pissed at the state Clem was in._

_Just then they could hear the front door fly open. Luke came running out after hearing the yelling. "Whoa, what the hell is going on here?!" Luke jogged over towards the group of teens and took notice of the new boy with a very familiar girl in his arms. "Holy shit! Clem!" He looked to the newcomer expectantly._

_"She's hurt." The new guy stated. "I found her in the woods. Walkers were surrounding the area. She hit her head on a rock after falling. I stopped them from coming and carried her here. I knew where you were." He explained to Luke in his slow voice._

_Then he turned to Violet and Louis. "I know you."_

_Violet and Louis stood shocked at his words getting Violet to desist her struggle in the taller boys arms. They certainly didn't know him._

_"You're from the school." He turned and looked back behind him. "That way."_

_"Yeah, how did you know?" Louis asked._

_"I've watched you. Watched the other group too. Saw them take your people." He explained._

_Violet's fight stopped as she processed this information. She pulled free from Louis's grip. "The kids they took, did...did they manage to escape? Did any of them get out?"_

_He shook his head at her question. "They left on a boat. Said they'ed come back in a few weeks."_

_Both Violet and Louis looked alarmed by this. If the raiders came back they could take the rest of them._

_"Don't worry." He told them. "They don't come this far West. You will be safe here."_

_"Did they try and catch you?" Luke asked._

_The strange boy shook his head no. "They raided my camp before they reached the boat with your people. They did not see me since I was hidden. Afterward, I left to avoid the fighting and to look, for...my boyfriend." He looked past the small group of people and noticed the surplus of decaying walker bodies behind them. His face grimaced for a second before going back to normal. "It brought walkers, but I use them to hide. Sometimes I guide them as well."_

_"You can guide the walkers?" Luke asked surprised._

_"It was a practice for my...our people. They called themselves, whisperers."_ _He adjusted his grip on Clementine and took a few steps forward. "Here, she needs your help. You need to stop the bleeding." He reached his arms out and prompted Violet to take hold of the unconscious girl._

_Violet walked forward and held out her arms for him to place Clem. The out cold girl groaned as she was shifted into her girlfriend's arms. Violet held her tight not wanting to let anything happen to her again. "It's all right, Clem. I've got you." Violet felt like she wanted to cry at that moment. Clem was back, and she was safe in her arms. God, she had been so scared that she was going to lose her. A feeling of relief washed over her, though she still knew that they had to stop the bleeding. She whispered a small thank you to him in return._

_The boy gave her a slight smile and nodded in approval, then he handed over Clem's hat to Louis once he had passed Clem off._

_"What's your name?" Luke asked the quiet boy._

_He looked down at the ground. "It's been a while"_

_"Since?" Louis asked._

_"I've said it." He looked back up at Luke. "My name is Charlie."_

_Luke sent him a smile. "Well, I appreciate the help. Thank you."_

_Charlie nodded and slipped his mask back on. "If you find anyone named James out there, please tell him that Charlie is looking for him and that...he's sorry for what he's done."_

_Luke gave him a confirming nod. "Will do."_

_With that Charlie turned and started walking away._

_Luke scratched his head. "Well, that was...strange. Thank god he was there though."_

_"We've got to get her inside," Violet said. "Luke, can you find the first aid kit. Me and Louis will get Clem inside."_

_"I'm on it." He said walking ahead of them._

_Violet struggled slightly to carry Clem all the way back to the house, not having the arm strength that Charlie had, but she rejected Louis's offer to help each time he said he could take her. Instead, he held the door open for her as Vi brought her inside. Her arms screamed in protest, but she didn't care. All that mattered was getting Clem patched up._

_Luke came downstairs with the first aid kit just as they entered the house. "Set her down here," Luke said as he pointed at the coffee table._

_Violet didn't think it'd be very comfortable for the girl but obliged anyway. Luke sat the medical kit on the couch and opened it revealing its contents._

_Violet knelt down and inspected the gash on Clem's head, her hands coming away with a reddish tinge after moving some of her hair out of the way. "It's not that deep." She let out a sigh of relief. Violet definitely wasn't looking forward to trying to remember what Ruby had taught her about stitching someone up. "I think will be good as long as we stop the bleeding. Louis hand me some gauze."_

_Louis did as he was told and gave Violet some of the white cotton squares. She pressed them to the open wound and let them soak up some of the blood. Clem gave a groan of discomfort and winced a bit while she was out. Violet felt bad for causing the younger girl any discomfort but needed to apply enough pressure to the wound to clot the blood._

_Just then they heard thundering footsteps run down the stairs. "Clem?!" AJ shouted as he raced to the unconscious girl's side. Tenn following suit but at a slower pace._

_"Whoa there buddy." Luke put an arm out to stop the energetic five-year-old from almost jumping on top of Clem._

_"I wanna see Clem. Is she okay?" AJ asked concernedly as he stared up at Luke, a pout on his face at being denied to see his so-called older sister._

_"Clem's gonna be fine. But right now we need to leave her alone so she can get better." Luke explained._

_Luke could see the worry and regret swimming around in AJ's eyes as he stared at Clementine's motionless body from a distance. He figured it'd be best to distract him till Clem was up and moving again. "Hey, why don't you come help me move some of the walkers outside. Then you can come see Clem once she's awake and Violet has her all patched up."_

_AJ looked worriedly back and forth between both his guardians. "But Clem needs me to protect her while she's hurt."_

_"It's okay AJ. I can protect Clem for you while you're gone." Violet told him. "I won't let anything happen to her." She said as Louis handed her some more gauze and a bottle of peroxide._

_"Promise?" AJ asked seriously._

_"I promise," Violet told him._

_AJ smiled at her reassurance. "Okay. Your good at protecting Clem, you make her happy." Violet's face turned a light shade of pink at his words but was happy AJ trusted her._

_With AJ satisfied Luke followed him and Tenn to the door. "Come help us when you're done?" Luke asked Louis as he walked past._

_Louis sighed. "Yeah, sure," he said in a dull voice. His enthusiasm was gone for the time being._

_And with that, he and Violet were left alone._

_Louis paced back and forth with his arms folded as thoughts about Clementine raced through his head._

_"Can you stop pacing. It's driving me nuts!" Violet barked at him as she finished wrapping the bandage around clem's head._

_"I'm sorry, but I can't stop thinking about it."_

_"Thinking about what?" Violet asked._

_"Why Clem ran away." Louis unfolded his arms. "I just...fuck Vi, what happened that caused her to go off like that."_

_"It doesn't matter Louis," Violet growled under her breath as she put the medical supplies back in the case. "Just drop it."_

_"Vi, you have to tell me if somethings wrong. I worry about her too." Louis said._

_"I don't have to tell you shit!" She fought back._

_"Violet you told me before that she's already had a panic attack and she just took off into the woods after whatever all that was this morning, that is not normal. You have to tell me what the hell has been going on!" Louis shouted. He knew about the first panic attack and knew Clem suffered from nightmares, but he didn't know how bad it actually was. "_ _I want to help Vi, but I can't if you keep pushing me away."_

_Louis was right. She wanted to tell him and he deserved to know, but would Clem be okay with it. If she was then why wouldn't she have told him before?_ _Violet sighed giving in and sat down on the couch. "How much do you know?"_

_Louis rubbed the back of his neck. "Ugh...not much. I know she has nightmares and you told me about her panic attack the second night we were here, but that's about it."_

_Violet put her head in her hands. "Fuck." She groaned at being put in this position. "Alright look, it's not my place to say out of respect for Clem's privacy, but yeah. She gets nightmares, really bad ones."_

_"Well, I figured that much. Did she scream last night?" Louis asked._

_"Shit, you heard that. Fuck." Violet said as she leaned her head back and stared up at the ceiling._

_"Well I was half asleep, so I wasn't sure if it was real or not," Louis told her. "It was that bad huh?" Louis said sympathetically._

_"That wasn't even when she had the nightmare. But it's what caused her to go into another panic attack." Violet told him. "Some people have really hurt her Lou. Some sick fuck had really hurt her a long time ago."_

_"Seriously? Who?" Louis asked unbelievingly._

_"I don't know. Some guy named Calvin or Carver or something." Violet replied._

_"So is it true?" Louis asked._

_"Is what true?"_

_"What AJ said. Did...did she really...wet the bed?" Louis asked tentatively not sure if he should ask or not, worried that Violet might feed him to the walkers for bringing it up._

_Violet really didn't want to tell him, but she supposed the cat was already out of the bag. If only she could have shoved the damn cat back into the bag earlier before all this started._

_"Yeah, yeah she did, we just didn't know that AJ was awake at the time. But you didn't see her like I did Lou. It really scared her. She was terrified that me and Luke were going to be killed by some guy who's been dead for years. Like, she actually believed it." Violet explained._

_"When she goes into panic mode I-I think there are times when she doesn't even know what's real and what isn't." Violet looked at the sleeping girl on the table and watched the slow rise and fall of her chest. "I-I tried to help, but sometimes I don't know if what I'm doing is right."_

_Violet felt tears brimming her eyes. "And then she ran away and..." She couldn't help it as a few salty droplets slid down the sides of her face. "I was so fucking scared something had happened to her, Lou. If I would have only stopped her or followed her. It's my fault she's hurt." Violet cried._

_"Vi, it's not your fault. No one knew that was going to happen. There's no way you could have known." Louis reassured her. Then he leaned forward and brought the blonde in for a hug._

_Violet was surprised by the embrace and even more surprised when she accepted, but she was glad to have someone as caring as Louis in her life. Sure he drove her crazy most of the time. To the point where she wanted to stab scissors in her ears to drown out his constant annoying charm. But deep down she really loved Louis, just like a brother. Sure he was no Jackson, but he was the second best chance she could have asked for._

_"Thanks, Lou. It means...a lot" She said as they separated._

_"Anytime!" He smiled at her. "By the way, I don't know if Clem told you this, but I charge by the hour." He joked._

_Violet rolled her eyes. "Jackass. I thought we were having a moment."_

_Louis flashed her a smile. "We are. Come on, you can't tell me it wasn't a little funny?"_

_Violet gave him another eye roll._

_"Not even a little, damn," Louis said crestfallen._

_Violet shook her head, but let a slight smile trace her lips. She'd let Louis have this one. "Alright, maybe it was a little funny."_

_"Yes! Told ya!" He pumped his fist in victory._

_"Don't push it," Violet warned._

_"Come on you know you love me." Louis teased her._

_She did know that, which is why she let her smile widen a bit more at his words. "Alright, you better get out there and help them like you promised. I'll keep an eye on Clem."_

_"Yes, ma'am." Louis gave her a solute before walking off._

_Violet rolled her eyes for the nth time, but the smile didn't leave her face. That was until she looked at Clem. She reached over and tucked a loose strand of hair behind the brunette's ear. "Don't disappear on me again, okay?"_

* * *

"And that's about it." Violet rubbed the back of her neck. "You woke up about twenty minutes later...I think."

"And the coffee table?" Clem questioned.

Violet chuckled. "Yeah, sorry about that. It was just a clean and flat surface that we could lay you on. I was gonna move you, but then you woke up, so...ya know." Violet answered apologetically.

"I'm also sorry I told Louis about everything. He just gets really worried about you, we all do." Violet apologized again.

Clem sighed and looked down at her hands. "What about Luke?"

"I haven't talked to him about anything specifically, but I'm pretty sure Luke knows," Violet told her.

Clem brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them. "Are...are they mad at me?" Clem asked without looking at Violet.

"Of course not, Clem." Violet wrapped an arm around her shoulder and brought Clem in for a partial hug. "They understand what happened. I don't hate you, I know Louis doesn't, and I know for a fact Luke would never be mad at you for something like that."

Violet placed a kiss to her temple. "I love you."

Clem sent her a soft smile. "I love you too."

A click from the door handle caused them to separate. Violet smirked. "I'd brace yourself if I was you. I have a feeling you might get tackled by a certain five-year-old once that door opens."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to start off by saying everyone was pretty much correct when James was said to be the one who found Clem because it's kind of obvious, right. And it was going to be James. I had it written out and everything. But I started thinking and was like that'd be a crazy twist if it was Charlie looking for James since they used to be part of the same group.
> 
> So that's what happened. Sorry if you guys are disappointed by that, but maybe James could show up later on. It's not for certain, but crazier things have happened. There are so many things in this story that weren't originally supposed to be part of it. :P
> 
> Anyway, hope you guys liked this!
> 
> Secret Life of Writing Out! :)


	22. Meeting You In Person

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such the long wait. I know it's been a long time since I've updated. I've been busy with writing my other story Little Toy Guns, it ended up being much longer than I had originally thought and I wanted to finish it before I continued this. So again sorry for the long delay.

The door opened and in walked the guys. Luke and Louis talking about something but suddenly growing quiet once eyes landed on the upright form of the brunette. AJ didn't miss a beat and took off in a sprint towards her.

"Clem!" He practically jumped into the girl's lap just like Violet had predicted. The blonde letting out a few silent chuckles.

Clem had to stop herself from nearly falling backward at AJ's forceful hug. "Whoa, there goofball. Easy."

AJ let go and moved off her lap his excitement replaced with guilt. "I'msosorryforwhatIsaid! Ididn'tmeantomakeyourunaway!" Everything coming out in a blur of rushed and jumbled words as he tried to apologize.

"Whoa, whoa, AJ slow down. It's okay." She placed a hand on his shoulder. "Breathe."

AJ did as he was told and inhaled deeply before letting it out. "I'm sorry for making you sad. I-I never meant to make you run away."

Clem brought him in for another hug. "It's alright, AJ. I forgive you and...I'm sorry too."

She let go of the little boy and looked up to see Louis approaching. "So the orange lives. Hope you're doing okay?" He smiled at her, hands on his waist.

Violet rolled her eyes. "I'm sure she'd be doing a whole lot better if you didn't call her things like  _orange_." Louis flashed her a smile as a response.

Clem smiled sheepishly. "Hey, Louis." She got up and hugged him. "Sorry about everything."

He waved her off. "It's cool. Just glad you're still in one piece is all."

Clem then saw Luke walk by them. She saw him nod his head towards the stairs. "Clem. Can I talk with you a minute?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure." Here we go. The conversation she's been dreading. She just hoped Luke wasn't too mad at her. The last thing she wanted was to get into another heated argument like how she did with Violet. She still felt guilty for going off the way she did.

She followed Luke upstairs and down the hall to his room, where he closed the door behind them. It'd been a while since Clem had been in here. She forgot how empty it really was in Luke's room. With just the bed, a small side table next to it hosting a lamp that no longer worked, and a large closet, it really wasn't much to look at. The room didn't hold bookshelves and dressers like hers and AJ's did. His bed was quite comfy though as she ran her fingers across his comforter.

Clem took in a deep breath it was time to get this over with. Enough with looking at the decor. She turned around to face him. "Luke I..."

She didn't even get to explain as large arms wrapped around her bringing her in close for a hug. "God, Clem. I'm so glad you're okay." Luke released her. "You had me really scared there kid."

Clem was surprised at Luke's show of concern and kindness. It wasn't what she had been expecting, but it was way better than getting a stern talking to and yelled at. Though she probably deserved to get punished after scaring everyone like that. Now realizing how stupid it had been of her to take off like she had. Upset or not, it was a foolish thing to do.

"I-I know Luke. I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen." She rubbed her arm while looking to the floor. "I'm sorry, for-for everything. A-are you mad at me?"

Luke sighed and walked over towards his bed sitting down. He patted the spot next to him prompting Clem to sit down. "No Clem, I'm not mad. But...I wish you would of told me what was bothering you. You know I'm here for ya, Clem."

"Yeah, I know." Clem shamefully replied.

"Violet told me what happened," Luke admitted. "It's okay if things scare you, Clem. But we can't help you if you don't tell us."

Clem squeezed her eyes closed trying to will herself not to cry, she'd had enough of all the tears. "I know, I-I'm just tired of feeling this way." She jumped to her feet not being able to sit still. "I'm so tired of feeling weak. I hate not being able to do anything! I just want it to stop Luke!" She felt her eyes water. "I-I almost lost y-you! An-and then C-carver he, he was gonna..."

Seeing her start to get emotional Luke rushed over and pulled Clem in for another embrace. "Hey, it's okay. It's okay. Everything's fine." He reassured. "No one's gonna hurt me. It was just a dream and I wasn't bit. Everything's fine."

Clem rubbed the water from her eyes. "I"m sorry, Luke."

"It's alright, kid." He said standing back up. "Just promise me, you'll tell me if somethings bothering you. Or if not me, Violet or... someone. It's not great to hold all that in."

"I promise Luke." She told him.

He gave her a smile. "Alright then. I'll take your word for it." He pushed the bill of her baseball cap over her eyes. "I'd say we should get back then."

"Hey!" She giggled putting her cap back on her head. "Jackass." She playfully called him out.

* * *

Later that night Clem found herself alone in her bedroom. She found herself drawn towards the pictures that resided on the bookshelf, Violet's picture of Jackson in particular. She wished she could have met him when he was still alive, he seemed like a really nice guy and an even better brother, even if he and Vi were only half-siblings.

She almost didn't here Violet come in with how distracted she'd been. "Whatcha lookin' at?" Violet questioned as she walked up to stand next to Clem.

Clem didn't respond at first before she asked, "Is that really Jackson's natural hair color?"

Violet laughed at her question. "That's really what you've been standing here thinking about?" She looked to the picture then back at Clem. "I know it's dark and looks like it's been dyed, but that's his real hair color."

Clem looked to Violet surprised. "Shut up, there's no way. Not with how your hair is."

Violet smiled, amused. "It's true. He gets all that from his dad. His eyes are the only thing that resembles our mom." Violet walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. "And believe it or not Jackson's also a twin."

Now That was news. Clem's eyes widened with interest. She walked over towards Violet. "But you never..."

"I know..." Violet rubbed her arm nervously. "Her name was Anna, but I never met her. She uh...She died when she was a baby." She looked down sadly as Clem took a seat next to her. "Mom said Anna was born with a heart defect and she suffered from Asthma attacks. She um...didn't live for much longer than two weeks. Jackson never even got a chance to know her."

Violet sighed. "But I guess some things just happen for a reason." A smile overtook her features and she grabbed Clem by the waist pulling her back to lie down with her. "Like me getting to met you." Clem turned over in her arms and Violet kissed her on the tip of her nose.

Clem giggled. "Is that so."

"Mm, hmm." Violet hummed. Then she got serious again. Her face turning to a guilty expression "I'm sorry for yelling at you. I shouldn't have gone off the way I did."

Clem brushed some hair away from Violet's eyes. "Vi, it's okay. I shouldn't have yelled at you either. And in all honesty, I probably deserved what I got."

"Clem, don't say that. You didn't need me yelling at you like that after everything you just went through." Violet grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers. "You and me, we're a team. We help each other through the rough times. And even if we forget that I will always still love you." She leaned over and kissed Clem on the lips feeling the brunette smile into it. "I love you, Clem."

"I love you back."

* * *

_Footsteps sounded across the wooden boards that made up the floor as a figure approached._

_"Why the train? You always pick the train." Came an all to familiar voice as he took a seat next to Clem at the edge of the boxcar._

_Clem shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. Maybe because this is where it all started." She watched the scenery buzz past them as the train continued down the tracks. "Were you taught me to shoot, and to cut my hair. To be ready for what was coming."_

_Lee nodded. "Yeah, you were a quick study." Then he turned to face Clem. "So, what's on your mind this time?"_

_Clem sighed and placed her head in her hands. "I think I screwed up Lee."_

_"Why do you say that?" Lee questioned._

_"I-I ran away... and got hurt in the process," Clem explained. She rubbed her arm nervously. "Just like I ran away... when I was with you."_

_Clem's eyes started to water as she continued on. "I-I almost got my self killed because I was being s-stupid. I could have gotten someone else hurt as well. And I thought everyone was gonna be mad at me."_

_Lee raised a brow. "Were they? Was Luke mad at you?"_

_Clem rubbed her eyes. "N-no. I don't think so. But um..." Clem looked down ashamed. "Me and Violet got into a really big fight."_

_She looked to Lee. "I...I shouldn't have yelled. Everything was just so...much ya know. After last night I was just on edge and Violet said she wasn't mad, but...sometimes I don't know why she puts up with me."_

_Lee shook his head. "Aw, sweet pea. You know you always get like this after something big." He smiled at her. "Remember when you had that really bad panic attack after Kenny died and Luke found you."_

_"That was different. I've known Luke for years. Violet barely knows me. And-and I'm worried one day... she'll leave me because I only make things worse for her." Clem admitted regretfully._

_Lee nodded in understanding. "I know. It's harder when you've only known someone for a short time. Sometimes it's easy to hurt the people you care about. But it's okay if you fight as long as you can overcome it." Clem looked out at the bypassing trees as she continued to listen to Lee's words. "That girl really cares about you, Clem."_

_When Clem didn't respond Lee asked, "You wanna tell me what you were up against this time?"_

_"Carver. He-he wanted to kill Luke and h-hurt Violet." Clem reached up and ran her fingers across her kneck where Carver's knife had cut her. "He hurt, me. It had really scared me."_

_"And Violet helped you get through this dream as well, right?" Lee questioned making a point._

_"Yeah, she did." Clem found herself smiling._

_Lee smiled. "I don't think you realize how much you really mean to Violet. But don't take my word for it..."_

_Clem watched as Lee stood up, holding onto the side of the boxcar so he wouldn't fall. "There's someone I want you to meet."_

_Clem looked up at Lee with confusion written on her face, but her thoughts were interrupted when she had to brace herself as the train started to slow. The breaks screeching their protest as the train stopped suddenly._

_Clem's confusion only continued to build as she stared at the place in front of them. "Why are we at a park?" She asked as she watched Lee jump down from the train car, herself following suite. She heard the train leaving behind her as it moved onward down the tracks. She remembered all of the places that she had been with Lee. Hershel's farm, the drug store, the motor inn, the dairy, the train, of course. Savana, Crawford,_ _the Marsh House. She was pretty sure baseball park wasn't in any of those categories._

_Not that she didn't appreciate the change of scenery. It wasn't a very big park, with just some swings, a slide, and two baseball fields. But it was still nice. For some reason, it almost felt familiar, like she had been here before even though she knew no such memory existed._

_"So, you must be Clementine." Came a voice she didn't recognize._

_Clem had been so distracted that she hadn't seen anyone approach. Being back in her eight-year-old body she had to look up to meet this person's gaze. Her mouth hung open in shock. "Jackson?"_

_He chuckled. "So you do know me."_

_Clem still seemed baffled that he was here._ _Even if this was a dream, Clem usually never had anyone else show up when she talked with Lee._ _"I...Well, yeah. But how do you know me?"_

_Jackson shoved his hands in his jean pockets. "Violet talks about you non stop. I don't think there's been a time she hasn't brought you up since she's met you."_

_"Hey! I do not!" A little girl came into view from behind Jackson, a_ _slight blush dusting her cheeks._ _Same blonde hair and green eyes that Clem knew so well. Just, now she was shorter and wore a dark blue t-shirt under a black jean jacket, ripped black skinny jeans, and purple converses. She was younger just like Clem was, probably around the age ten or so. Just like she was in the picture with her and her brother._

_Jackson smiled and ruffled her hair. "Sure you don't, Sissy."_

_She pushed his hand away. "Jackson, stop." She said through gritted teeth so her brother would stop embarrassing her._

_"Vi?" Clem questioned, shocked at seeing her girlfriend and her brother._

_Violet finally turned her attention to the brunette. "Clem?"_

_"But how are you..." They both said at the same time. Which caused them both to laugh._

_"What are you doing here?" Violet asked._

_"Lee said he had someone he wanted me to meet," Clem said, her voice much higher than Violet was used to._

_"Well, I'm guessing he wasn't talking about me. So, Clem, this is Jackson. My older brother." Violet introduced with a chuckle._

_"So the famous Clementine, that saved my sister and her friend. It's nice to finally meet you." He smiled at her before smirking. "Ya know since Violet goes on and on about how great you are all the time."_

_Violet elbowed him in the ribs, her face a bright red. "Jackson!"_

_Clem smiled at the interaction. It was cute how Violet got so flustered over her brother's teasing. Though, did she really talk about Clem that much? Maybe she did mean more to the blonde than she thought._

_Jackson laughed. "Though I'm sure you know what that's like. Right, Lee?" He asked looking over at the older man who was seated at a picnic table nearby._

_Lee chuckled a bit. "Sure do."_

_It was Clem's turn to go red in the face. "What the hell, Lee?"_ _Was he on her side or what?_

* * *

_"You mean a great deal to my sister you know," Jackson said as they walked the baseball diamond, hands in his pockets._

_Clem looked towards the ground as they walked. "I don't see why. After everything I've put her through."_

_Jackson gave her an understanding smile. "Ya know Violet used to get them too."_

_"Get what?" Clem asked looking up at him._

_"Night terrors," Jackson replied. "It wasn't easy for her once I died. She wasn't exactly happy at the school she was sent to either. Hasn't been for over a year. That is...until she met you." The redhead told her._

_"I don't know about that," Clem mumbled under her breath._

_"It's true." Jackson chuckled. "I don't know if you've noticed, but Vi isn't the most open person. It takes a lot for her to care about some like she does you. She worries about you Clementine, and she often thinks she isn't doing enough to show it."_

_"What? But Violet does so much! I can't count how many times she's stayed up with me. She, she's perfect just the way she is. She doesn't need to prove anything to me." Clem told him._

_"Then maybe you should tell her that," Jackson said as they made it to home plate and started their walk back towards Violet and Lee. "Violet's not an idiot Clem. If she thought you made her life worse she wouldn't still be with you. She loves you."_

_Clem sighed. "This isn't even real. It's all in my head."_

_Jackson laughed. "So what? Just because it's in your head doesn't mean it's not real." He smirked. "Besides, it's okay to be a little nuts. Just look at my sister. Just, don't tell her I said that." He winked at her._

_With that Jackson left her with her thoughts as they made it back. He walked over and took a seat next to Lee as the girls went over by the swings to talk. "You've got some girl there, Everett."_

_"I could say the same about you, Knight. It takes some time for her to open up, but your sister has a good heart." Lee told him. "She's helped Clem in more ways than she knows."_

_"Clem's done more for Violet than she understands as well. You raised one smart little girl." Jackson admitted._

_"Yeah, are girls are survivors. Both of them." Lee said as they watched the two talk._

_Just then the train whistle blew in the distance grabbing their attention. "Looks like it's time," Lee said standing up with Jackson joining him. But when they turned back the girls were no longer their younger selves._

_Lee smiled. "Wow. Just look at you." He took a step back seeing Clem as her older self for the first time. "Just look at you."_

_Clem smiled, but it turned into a frown. She ran up and hugged her old guardian. "Goodbye Lee. I'll miss you."_

_Lee hugged her back. "Time to go Clementine. I'll see you again soon."_

_To their left Jackson stood with Violet next to him. "Wow, look how tall you've gotten. Even if you're still short." He teased seeing as she was still barely past his shoulder._

_Violet playfully punched his arm. "Jackass."_

_Jackson laughed at her antics. "Look at you now. You used to be afraid of riding on the swings, now you've graduated to stabbing dead guys in the face."_

_"Yeah, well, I owe a lot to you," Violet told him._

_They heard the whistle blow one more time as the train pulled up in front of the park again._

_Jackson saw tears start to form in Violet's eyes. He knelt down to her height and Violet threw her arms around his neck as she hugged him. "Promise me you'll come back."_

_He rubbed her back. "I promise. I love you, Sissy."_

_"I love you too, J" Violet let him go and rubbed some tears from her eyes._

_Jackson and Lee waved bye to the girls as they boarded the train. Leaving Violet and Clem to watch as it disappeared into the distance._

* * *

Clem opened her eyes and sat up to be greeted by sunlight that filtered into the room from the window. Her movements waking the blonde next to her. "Hey, you okay?" The blonde asked her sitting up. "Any more nightmares?"

Clem smiled up at her. "Actually I had a really weird dream. You were there, but like way younger."

Violet seemed surprised by this. "I had a dream about you too. And this is gonna sound weird, but Lee was there too and..."

"Jackson..." Clem finished for her.

Both girls stared at each other for a minute in shock, before Violet started laughing. "Do you know what this means? We literally just had the same dream!"

"Oh my god! And we were at the park..."

"And the train..."

Clem put a hand to her head possibly wondering if her injury had caused the occurrence of her bizarre dream, but if Violet could portray exactly what she had seen... "That's really trippy, Vi. No ones gonna believe us."

Violet waved her off. "Who cares. Are dreams literally connected and I got to meet Lee and you..."

"I got to meet Jackson. Even if it was just a dream." She smiled at the thought. "Is that really what he's like?" She asked wondering if maybe she had just imagined everything and Vi was just a bystander in this dream or if they had really connected to each other's subconscious.

Besides her nightmares, Clem knew her dreams sometimes had meaning. Her talks with Lee definitely carried weight when it came to sorting out her feelings about particular events. Sometimes dreams even served as warnings for certain things. But being that Clem had such frequent nightmares didn't leave much room for interpretation, except for the obvious fact that they were meant to scare her. Though even if it was all in her head she liked to believe that this particular one held some truth to it and had in reality been, well... real.

Violet chuckled. "Red hair and all. He liked to tease me when we were younger, but he really cares a lot."

Clem smiled at Violet's words. "I liked him, he was nice."

Then a thought crossed her mind. She looked to Violet a smirk appearing on her face. "You know, you were really cute when you were younger...Sissy." Clem quickly kissed Violet on the nose before taking off in a sprint for the door and running down the hall.

Violet turned a bright red getting caught off guard. She took off after her girlfriend. "Clem! I swear to god if you tell the others!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I keep pushing Jackson on you guys, but I honestly fell in love with the idea of Violet having an older brother who was there for her when her parents weren't. And I wanted Violet to have a moment like the way Clem and Lee did in season 4 and low and behold, this chapter was born. Who knows where will be taken next? I sure don't. ;)
> 
> Secret Life of Writing Out! :)


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